Monster Party Novella: Nosos
by James Firecat
Summary: Nosos is a hidden land, not of the Core, and yet it can appear next to any land in it. More to the point it can pull people into it, and its newest arrivals are going to have their work cut out for them.
1. Chapter 1

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears get sick of the machine?

Chapter One: Just two things of which you must beware, don't drink the water and don't breath the air.

Rain fell in the city of Nosos and its occupants headed for whatever shelter they could find. Not because they were afraid of getting wet, because they were afraid of getting burned.

A single drop of rain in Nosos would leave a faint tingling sensation against your skin, but rain never fell in single droplets. A proper downpour of the fowl smelling liquid could permanently ruin even the finest of outfits or reduce an already threadbare one to useless rags.

What it could do to skin was even less pleasant to think about.

Man and animal alike had learned to fear the rain in Nosos, the plants would have feared it also, as much as plants could fear, if there had been any natural plant life left.

A soot blackened cloud of mist was blown down one alleyway, and half a a dozen figures emerged from it.

One of them was a tall man with striking silver hair, wearing a vaguely military black outfit with a few silver markings here and there. His left eye was bright green, and his right was covered by a black eyepatch. Almost as soon as he took his first step in Nosos he bent over double in shock and surprise.

"What... what... what is this?" Gasped Alexander Diamondclaw as he struggled for breath.

A moment later he was joined in his semi-prone position by a younger looking man (who might have seen his twentieth year, but then again might not have) in bright red. Alexander's crimson clad companion coughed and spluttered in pain.

"This... this isn't Invidia!" James Firecat gasped.

The wide brimmed red hat that James wore would have surely have slipped from his head if not for the fact that a pair of white gloved hands made to sure to hold it steady.

"You know... the last time I was this happy that I don't need to breath someone was trying to drown me." Blasely announced a woman in a white jacket, black pants, and white hat.

Her eyes were a deep red color, and her hair was midnight black except for a white stripe running down the middle of it.

At the moment Mirri Catwarrior seemed torn between amusement at the suffering of her companions, and a few small scraps of genuine concern.

"Devi, wet rags, now. This is so bad that even I can smell it!" Demanded a man in brown cloak, that covered most of his body, though it was possible to see that he had on a blue outfit and red tie on underneath it.

Cal Wright didn't have to wait too long before his request was answered. An elfin woman in a blue close cut dress with blue hair and brown eyes reached into a small brown bag she wore at her hip and produced a damp rag.

Devi Skye passed it to Alexander, and then her bag yielded another for James and the third was soon fastened around Cal's mouth.

"It isn't as bad as Oil of Scallatine, but that's all I can say in its favor..." Rumbled Alexander, able to stand up straight now that his nostrils had some protection from the seemingly ever present stench.

Devi wasted little time in attaching her own cloth and then offered one to the final member of the group.

"This place... this place is wrong." Muttered Florence Bastien.

She was a woman with seemingly sickly green skin and blond hair that was so rough it was almost straw-like in texture. She was wearing a green leotard like outfit and her jade eyes were round with surprise.

After a few moments she had recovered enough to accept the cloth and tied it around her mouth.

Though she had proclaimed no particular need for such a thing Mirri still accepted a sixth rag and affixed it to her own face when one was offered.

"Okay, now that none of us are about to choke to death, lets try and figure out exactly what is going on." Alexander suggested.

"Knowing where we could go to get away from the smell would be nice also." James added instantly.

"I'm still not sure where exactly we are, but if this place is at all like home, find the biggest house or castle around and head there.." Mirri suggested.

Given that anything was better than simply standing around breathing in the, well calling it "air" was being too kind, the group started moving.

Alexander's keen eye soon picked out the sight of a large diamond shaped manner which could just barely be seen peaking over the top of a high stone wall. Standing by the only obvious gate leading into or out of the wall were two men who would certainly never lack for work. If nothing else, there was no band of players that would not be willing to hire them to play the part of the stolid unimaginative guards.

Not only did they have that particular advantage, but someone had even been kind enough to hang out a tarp above them so that they didn't suffer too much from the rain.

"Omega you're on." Alexander muttered deciding that this particular situation might call for a soft touch.

In response James advanced on the two men, a wide smile on his face his eyes bright and friendly.

"Hi! We're a little new in town and we're looking for some place to get out of the rain. Can we go inside?" He asked with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

The two guards gave James their very best glower but when his irrepressible optimism refused to accept the obvious hint they were forced to actually speak.

"Nobody is allowed in without a ticket." One of them rumbled.

"So how do we get tickets?" James inquired in the sort of voice small children tended to use when pestering their parents.

"Lord Sceleris only sends out tickets to those he likes. If you didn't get one scram." The other guard explained bluntly.

"Well then, thanks for your time, it was a pleasure talking with you!" He complimented the pair and turned back around.

"Sorry Alex I guess we're gonna have to find shelter somewhere else." He lamented.

Alexander was about to inform James that he hadn't really expected him to succeed in the first place when suddenly a new sound began to echo through the streets.

Above the constant pattering of the rain it was possible to hear the "click clack" of wheels as a large black carriage road up to the gate.

Men of the same same stolid no nonsense no imagination mold as those guarding the gates opened up the doors from inside and a man got out.

He had black hair, brown eyes and was dressed in a sleek black suit and pants combination along with a fine white shirt while a tall black hat rested upon his head. His face was slightly ruddy and had a few beads of sweat trickling down it that he wiped away with a handkerchief as he got out.

He started to dig about in his outfit for something but stopped when he caught sight of the other group by the gate.

"I say, is that a sword?" The man spluttered clearly quite certain if he could believe his own eyes.

"No, it's an empty sheath." Alexander replied sardonically.

"What would you need a sword for in Nosos? Place is safe can be, isn't a monster to be found in the entire land!" The man chuckled reaching out to try and lay a hand on Alexander's blade.

The silver haired man abruptly shifted his shoulders and the weapon slung across them dropped out of the brown eyed man's reach.

"We're not from Nosos." He explained calmly.

Then before this particular conversation could become any more pointless he made a few quick hand motions indicating that the rest of the group should follow him in heading off to look for less exclusive lodgings.

"You're leaving so soon? We haven't even had a chance to get to know one another, and you say you're not from Nosos?" The black haired man insisted, going so far as to grab Alexander by the shoulder.

There was suddenly a look in Alexander's eye that suggested only the new arrival's air of good natured joviality was currently keeping him from becoming terminally well acquainted with Alexander's blade.

"We don't have tickets, and we don't intend to spend the rest of the... I'm going to assume it is 'day' but given how thick those clouds are I'm honestly not sure, standing out here in the rain. So we're going to be on our way." He explained slowly, clearly, and slightly louder than normal.

The man was speaking Balok, but in Alexander's experiences various places that had never even heard of Barovia often ended up speaking some version or other of Balok.

"Well this just won't do. You've got the look of a man of the world about you, at least as much of your face as I can see, that eyepatch is very dashing you know, and you've even got your own sword! My name is Edward Resten, you should come into the party with me, I'm sure we'll have lots to talk about." Edward insisted.

"We/they don't have tickets." Alexander and the men guarding the gates insisted in perfect synchronization.

"Pish tosh, its only because you're new in Nosos, otherwise you certainly would have gotten some! As for you two, you should know that Lord Sceleris is a very good friend of mine... very good! Why he even took the time to take off his gloves and shake my hand palm to palm last time we met! If I say one bad word to him, you'll be out of a job and probably shipped off to Garbage Island before the day is through!" Edward insisted.

The pair of guards exchanged glances and clearly decided that this particular problem could best be solved by someone else.

They each fished out a key, inserted it it into a separate lock and twisted. The large gate began to creak open and Edward broke into an abrupt jog so as to pass the distance between the tarp and the mansion itself as quickly as possible.

"You realize that we don't know anyone else who is attending." Cal couldn't help but point out while he and the others made sure to keep pace with their newest 'friend'.

"Don't worry it's not just any kind of party Malus is throwing, it's a masquerade! That's the best kind of party in my opinion, because you have no idea who you're talking to! You wind up discovering new things about people you've known your entire life when you're talking to them behind a mask, if you can realize who they are of course." Edward rambled on while as he rapped on a pair of large double doors.

They opened up from inside and the group swiftly sought shelter from the rain.

Inside was a grand hall and as the door was slammed shut an almost miraculous change took place. Instead of the... well if there was such a thing as "undiluted stench" that would do a pretty good job describing what they had been inhaling outside, inside was air.

Air that still had a faint reek of several unpleasant odors about it, but it was none the less distinctly air. Whatever its other faults, it smelled like sweetest perfume compared what they'd had to deal with a few moments ago.

"So if it's a masquerade, what are you planning on wearing?" Alexander inquired, deciding that it might worth getting to know Edward a bit better after all.

"Ahh, I'm glad you asked... you'll be quite impressed I promised, let me just..." He began to fidget about checking pocket after pocket and then the inner folds of his black outfit, all without success.

Then he turned to his two bodyguards who had accompanied him along with Alexander's companions.

"I say, Lenny, Carl, I don't suppose I gave my mask to one of you to look after...?" He asked in the tone of voice one uses when they sadly already knows the answer.

Both of his protectors shook their heads and Edward sighed resting the fingers of his right hand against his head in morning.

"Seems I'm making a right proper fool of myself today, getting so caught up at the prospect of attending one of Lord Sceleris' masquerades that I completely forgot to bring my mask! Oh well, all hope is not yet lost, he always provides a few for those who don't have their own."

Mr. Resten explained, and sure enough there was a wide table spread out before them with various different masks resting upon it.

Edward wasted no time at all gravitating towards one that depicted an eagle and began to examine it closely.

"Hmm, not as good as the one I left back home, but I suppose it will have to do. What are you planning on...? Oh I say!" He suddenly gasped in surprise.

"That's a simply splendid choice!" Edward complimented his newest acquaintance once he got over the shock.

In the time it had taken Edward to examine his mask, Alexander had already decided which one he wished and donned it.

The silver haired man no longer had need for the wet cloth, but now his face was all but completely hidden behind the visage of a snarling gray wolf. A few tendrils of his long hair twisted around the edges of the mask, adding a touch of silver to the beast's fur.

"Granted, there hasn't been any actual wolves in Nosos for decades, but you wear that mask so well I doubt anyone will care." Edward Resten reflected.

"It called out to me." Alexander noted with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Now then, the rest of you should... the rest of you other than James and Mirri I mean..." Alexander amended his comments.

While the other three members of the group would have to pick and choose among the masks laid out on the table, both James and Mirri had sought their own headgear from within Devi's bag of holding.

Mirri Catwarrior's face was now concealed behind an exquisite paper mache depiction of a savage black feline beast that anyone from Nova Vassa would instantly recognize as being a Plains Cat.

By comparison, James Firecat's mask might seem unimpressive as only depicted a tortoiseshell faced housecat. On the other hand, whoever had made the mask had chosen to craft the cat's feature with a degree of nobility and regality to them that would have done any lion proud.

Callan Wright selected a mask which bore the brilliant design of a red feathered bird halfway through the process of bursting into flames and Devi Skye opted for a simple unadorned white mask.

The mask that drew Florence Bastien's attention was at the far end of the table, and buried under half a dozen others. It was hardly even a mask, for it was not carved in the likeness of any living creature's face.

Instead, it was made to resemble a large leaf, carefully crafted to include eye-holes but otherwise completely obscuring the wearer's face.

"Ah." Was all she said upon discovering it.

"Well, now that we're all dressed for the occasion, lets go see if we can't make some new friends." Alexander decided and the group proceeded deeper into the mansion and the masquerade party.

End Chapter

FN: Before you even ask, my decision to write this story has nothing at all to do with the fact that I've recently started watching a lets play of Assassin's Creed Syndicate. You can tell because the "theme song" for this story comes from the creatively titled "Assassin's Creed Syndicate Song" by TryHardNinja.

So yeah... I felt like writing something a bit different than normal. Despite my desire to see those wet rags (probably not the same ones they used in Book 3 but after those events Devi probably started some around just to be on the safe side) lead to "Is this a hold up" I can promise you there will be no trains, in this story/no trains in any Ravenloft story I write. While the technology level of Nosos is roughly in the right area, they don't make sense since the domain is much too small for them to be useful.

Another way this will be different is that what you're reading right now... it's all based on stuff from inside my head. For a given definition of "all" at least which is better to say that the plot is all mine. The setting on the other hand I'm still getting a lot of help with from others. The domain of Nosos is a real Ravenloft domain, and while there has been precious little canon material written about it (roughly 10 pages in the Islands of Terror book and maybe another five in some other places) there has been a fair amount of fan based material. I'm going to draw on that stuff pretty heavily to help flesh out the domain/some of its occupants and I'll give you links to it when I do my full book commentary.

For now, all you need to know is that if Paridon was inspired by Jack the Ripper killings (which it clearly was), Nosos was inspired by a different aspect of roughly that same time period. Don't worry, you'll be able to figure it out pretty quickly if you haven't already.


	2. Chapter 2

Monster Party Novella: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Two: We've got the fire, who's got the matches?

"TAKE OFF THAT MASK THIS VERY INSTANT!" Shouted an aggrieved voice across the dance-hall.

People turned to see who exactly was being addressed and Florence Bastien soon realized that she was the subject of the tirade.

A man(?) with brown hair dressed in a fine black cloak began to advance upon her. Much like Florence his face was entirely hidden behind his mask except for his eyes which were blue.

Also just like Florence his mask was in no way based upon any sort of animal, be it real or mythological. No, this man wore a stylized steel gray cog for a mask.

"Our host left it out for his guests." Florence pointed out, unsure why the leaf mask such cause such a stir.

"No he didn't!" The cog faced man shouted, his hands shaking in anger.

"What makes you so certain about what masks our host offered?" Florence inquired, the dryad's voice still steady and calm.

"Because I am him!" The mystery man demanded as he reached up and removed his mask.

His face was young and hansom in fact he seemed to be only a little bit older than James.

Florence not wanting to make an already tense situation worse likewise removed her mask.

"The servant overseeing the table can vouch that I found it there. Is there something I don't know about this mask?" She offered by way of an explanation.

The brown haired man who was (if you took his word) Lord Sceleris evidently found Florence's appearance even more shocking than most, since for a moment he simply stood there and said nothing.

Then he recovered himself and his posture melted into an easy relaxed stance.

"I'm sorry my lady... look this is a matter of some sensitivity would you mind discussing it with me some place a bit more private?" He inquired polite as could be.

Florence accepted and soon enough the pair were seated in an extraordinarily well furnished room being poured glasses full of their beverage of choice (water for Florence, though having no idea exactly where it had come from and having little respect for the air in Nosos she took the time casually orbit a finger around the glass before drinking from it) by a mask-less servant.

"I'm terribly sorry about all of that, let me start by introducing myself properly, Malus Sceleris, and you are?" He asked while sipping from a glass of wine.

"Florence Bastien. I along with a few of my friends were invited thanks to Edward Resten." Florence explained, heading off one possible line of inquiry before it could even begin.

"Ah yes, Edward does have a big heart doesn't he? Anyway, I thought I had trained my servants better, but good help can be a bit hard to find these days... the ugly truth of the matter is that the mask you were wearing was cursed." He confessed.

"Cursed?" Florence repeated the word, just to make sure she had heard correctly.

Luckily Malus was not stingy with information.

"Yes, it first showed up a few years back at one of my masquerades, a mask I hadn't set out and yet was still found on a table in the cloak room. The man who wore it... at the stroke of midnight he transformed into a terrible monster, a mass of writhing vines, leaves and compost twisted into a mockery of the human form.

I destroyed the mask of course, but it showed up again... and again. I don't know what summons it, but alas talking about it more than necessary seems to frequently do the trick. If anyone is unfortunate enough to wear it until the stroke of midnight... it is not a pleasant sight to behold or discuss.

Alas, those who are lucky enough to take the mask off before midnight, still tend to suffer some sort of horrible fate not long after, as if an evil spirit was outraged at being denied its chance to twist another victim's body and soul." He explained a look of grave seriousness upon his face.

"If I find myself compelled to transform into some sort of horrific plant monster I'll do my utmost to warn you beforehand." Florence promised.

"Well enough, let us say no more on the matter, I'll have another mask brought for you, and see you leave here with your purse a few gold coins heavier, as what little I can do to aid you. I must say that you're one of my first guests to have bothered to make effort to apply makeup before donning a mask, but how did you know that you'd find a mask that matched it so well?" Malus wanted to know.

Florence ran a green gloved finger along her face.

"It's not makeup. I'm a dryad." She explained.

Malus sighed heavily and stood up.

"I'm surprised that you came to Nosos then, I have no idea what this land could possibly offer you." He admitted bluntly.

"I didn't choose to come, my companions and I were sent here by the hand of Gaia, of nature herself." Florence pointed out.

"Nature, bah!" Malus harrumphed.

"Now what should I make of that?" Florence couldn't help but needle her host slightly.

"You'll find me to be quite candid Miss Bastien, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Nature holds no beauty, no charm, no attraction for me.

It is natural for a man to grow old and have his body turn against him, just as it is natural for wood to rot and grow weak with the passage of time. Excrement is natural, disease is natural, the wolf that rips a young girl to pieces is natural, death is natural.

Every single great thing that humanity has achieved has come about through our willingness to master what is 'natural' and bend it to our will! I live for a day when there is nothing 'natural' left about Nosos, it will be gleaming city of brilliantly shining stone, for you see there is nothing 'natural' about perfection." Malus vowed, solemnly striking a balled fist against the palm of his other hand.

His proclamation made, he suddenly chuckled and turned back to face Florence.

"Still, why let a little thing like a difference of opinions ruin a perfectly good masquerade? I'm afraid though that I must be getting back the ballroom soon or people may begin spreading baseless rumors about me vanishing from my own party to spend time with strange women." He explained as he placed the iron cog mask upon his face once more.

"Your new mask my lady?" A servant inquired while holding up a simple white mask like the one that Devi had selected not so long ago.

XXX XXX XXX

"You're right, wolves are natural." A voice informed Malus almost the instant that he walked out of the room.

The lord of the mansion spun around and found himself face to chest with a much taller man in black who was wearing a wolf mask.

"It isn't polite to eavesdrop. If I'd been talking matters of business you'd be lucky if I only had you thrown out." Lord Sceleris informed the guest in question.

"That's my mate, I was simply making sure of her safety." Alexander Diamondclaw replied.

"Your 'mate' is it? Well I hope will find a nice large den and have plenty of pups with her! Now if you'll excuse me I still have a party to host." Malus insisted.

The silver haired man didn't try to bar his progress, instead he swept into the room and helped Florence rise to her feet.

XXX XXX XXX

"I say Edward are you feeling all right?" Malus Sceleris asked a guest in an eagle mask.

Edward Resten lifted up his mask slightly, just enough to make his expression of surprise visible.

"Malus how do you do it? I've never seen you guess wrong!" He reflected in approval.

Malus' own expression was for the moment was hidden behind his mechanical mask.

"You told me you planned on wearing an eagle mask when you replied to my invitation. Still, are you sure that you're feeling all right?" Malus repeated the question a bit more urgently.

"Never better..." Edward insisted slipping his mask back on.

"Edward, you're the only one in this room who is sweating, and you're doing it so badly that even your mask doesn't hide it. Also you're wearing one the eagle masks I set out for guests... did you forget your own?" Malus explained his voice full of soft yet urgent concern.

"I did but I don't see..." Edward began as he pulled out a handkerchief and used it to wipe away the beads of sweat that were working their way free from under his mask and trailing down his neck.

Then he took a long look at the piece of cloth and realized just how thoroughly soaked it was.

"Ah... indeed..." Edward said in the exact same tone of voice a man might use when looking down only to discover they'd been impaled by a sword.

"I think it'd be best if you left." Malus "suggested", his voice was apologetic but all the same it was clearly not a request.

"I'll see myself out then. Thank you for catching it Malus, this city owes you a debt of gratitude. Come along lads, I think it's time I head back home..." Edward Resten reflected to his bodyguards mournfully.

XXX XXX XXX

"Something the matter?" A voice called out.

Edward had managed to make it as far as the cloakroom without being interrupted but before he could actually depart from Sceleris Manor he was blindsided by Alexander Diamondclaw.

"You should keep your distance, I'm not a well man." Edward warned.

"Is it lethal?" The Alexander asked immediately.

"No, I haven't got my elevens up, but I... I have the Fever. It's a bit of a embuggerance..." Edward whimpered, his voice a hollow echo of its previously boisterous self.

"If it isn't deadly and you can delay your carriage a little, I can at least make sure you don't completely lack for company. Besides, one of my companions has something of a talent for curing disease, she might be able to help you." The silver haired man suggested.

"You're a braver man than I to willingly share the home of someone with the Fever. Still, I dare say your companion could hardly make my condition worse and I was so busy talking with my old friends I never did to get the hear the story of you got that sword..." Edward admitted.

"Keep the horses to a slow walk and we'll follow you on foot." Alexander promised.

He wasn't about to order Cal or Devi to climb into a confined space alongside a man who was ill with a disease he knew nothing about.

He also wasn't about to point out to Edward that five minutes ago he'd had no idea where to spend the night.

XXX XXX XXX

A short while later the group was gathered together in the library of Edward Resten's mansion. It wasn't as grand as Malus Sceleris', but it was still plenty grand enough, especially when the alternative was sleeping outside in the still falling rain.

They were there to discuss a most unwelcome discovery.

"You couldn't cure him?" Alexander didn't sound angry or upset but he was most definitely surprised.

Florence Bastien nodded sadly.

"This disease... It is hard to describe to someone who can't use magic, but most disease are like snakes, this one is like a hydra.

Every time I used my magic to eradicate one of its heads, it just grew another to replace it. It isn't just one disease, it was like a dozen different illnesses all bound together by dark magic. Pathological Lycanthropy would be easier to cure with magic than this." The dryad reflected.

"Would having extra samples of the lycanthrope virus help at all?" James Firecat offered eagerly.

"Not really. I was only using it for comparison, two disease have nothing in common beyond difficulty to cure." Florence explained.

"According to both common wisdom and my own experiences it is impossible to cure a pathological lycanthrope by magic until the one who infected then is killed. As long as that lycanthrope lives, they give power to the disease. Do you think we're in a similar situation here, we would need to kill whoever made Mr. Resten sick before he can be cured?" Devi suggested.

"I've heard worse theories." Alexander admitted.

"Florence were you able to find anything else about the disease?" Alexander wanted to know.

"My magic doesn't work like that, at all. Remember Doctor Rudolph Van Richten is considered the one of the world's foremost experts on all things supernatural, and he was once a simple herbalist. If magic can't cure a disease in one stroke, scientific research will yields much more information then me dancing around skyclad to try and commune with the illness." Florence pointed out.

"We could try the skyclad dancing first, just to be absolutely sure. That's a kind of research after all, empirical evidence I believe is the term..." Alexander suggested hopefully.

"You're a beast." Florence Bastien reflected while looking around for something of a reasonable size and weight to toss at Alexander.

Before she could locate such an object the Lamordian alchemist put down what was perhaps the third tome of medical knowledge he'd been working his way through and coughed.

"Much as I don't hate to interrupt this conversation, I've managed to find some stuff you guys should know. First off, the Doctors here in Nosos seem to be pretty damn good, better than the ones in Lamordia even!

They've got a completely non-magical way to cure White Mouth if they can catch it early enough, and that means pretty damn early since this is White Mouth we're talking about, but still, who would have guessed that was even possible?

There are however two disease they can't cure though, Elevens, and Dum-Dum Fever. I can only assume the later was so named because whoever discovered it felt calling it 'The Idiot Plague' or 'The Stupid Sickness' would have been too dignified.

Symptoms start with everything you'd see in a traditional fever, high body temperature, sweating, and as a small mercy those symptoms don't tend to last beyond a week or two. Except that by the time the fever breaks the mind tends to have broken also." He explained.

"Minds can 'break' in a lot of different ways Cal. If our host is likely to grab the nearest axe and start trying to hack anyone within arms reach to pieces I'd like to know it now." Alexander pointed out.

Cal shook his head and flashed a somewhat disrespectful smile.

"Nah nothing so dramatic. It's the more the harmless half pathetic half silly kind of stuff. Says here one victim bought a pony so he could strip himself naked except for a saddle and let the beast ride around on top of him!" The blond haired man noted while being unable to fully repress a snicker.

"Any information on how it spreads? Now that I know Florence can't cure this illness I want to make sure none of you come down with it." Alexander said.

"They've got a lot more information on symptoms than transmission. The going theory is that it's a blood born illness and rich people like our host pick it up from spending time... getting their inseams adjusted.

I suppose that makes as much sense as any other theory and would explain why the soon to be victim wouldn't be put on guard by the already infected acted strangely. The good news is that there isn't a single confirmed case of a doctor contracting Dum-Dum Fever in the process of treating someone, so I think we're all fairly safe on that front." Cal informed him.

"When I asked if it was fatal he said his elevens weren't up... and you mentioned a disease named Elevens, that the doctors can't cure. If it's another illness that Florence can't magic away we better know everything we can about it. I refuse to have helped you lot survive darklords only to have you done in by a disease." Alexander growled.

Cal picked up the book he'd picked up and flipped through a few pages.

"Already ahead of you there Boss. The chief symptoms of Elevens is paralysis of the throat muscles causing muscles on the back of the neck to stand up erect, forming two parallel lines running up from the shoulders to the head..." He put the book back down, paused turned around and held up the index fingers of both hands against his own neck for effect.

"Hence why even this book uses the terms 'having your Elevens up' to describe someone suffering from the disease. Muscles in the throat become more and more unresponsive until the victim dies from suffocation. Survival rate... supposedly no one has even lasted half a week.

Once again no one is quite sure how it is transmitted, but chief theory is water born. This time though, there's not a single confirmed case of anyone of any real means ever coming down with the disease, so no reputable doctor has ever even bothered to try and treat someone with it... not sure if I should be comforted, frightened, or just disgusted by that! I mean supposedly crazy old man Mordenheim is willing to try and treat the folks with White Mouth back home." Cal admitted.

Alexander sat there for a few moments contemplating what he had heard, then he stood up and began to pace.

"First order of business, Devi get out the canteens, you, Cal, Florence, and yes even you James should either drink water from them, water that had been boiled, or water that has been purified by Florence's magic. Given what breathing the air is like, I can't even imagine what drinking the local water could do to the human body if you don't take precautions." It was an obvious order, one that Devi might have implemented without even being told, but Alexander didn't want to overlook the simple things as he struggled with more complex ones.

"So, what you're saying is that we have two diseases. One is debilitating, the other fatal. It is impossible to pin point what causes either of them exactly, most likely impossible to treat them with either science or magic, and yet..." His black gloved hands began to make emphatic gestures as if trying to grab with them the words his tongue could not.

"Cal let me see those books, I need to figure out how many people come down with Dum-Dum Fever and Elevens each year." Florence insisted.

"These books only talk about the times people of considerable wealth contracted the disease. But you're welcome to draw whatever conclusion you can." The alchemist noted while handing over the book.

"Devi I need you to search these books for information on how many people live in Nosos and how many of them are roughly as wealthy as our host. I want to know what percentage of people fall ill with either of these disease and how frequently it happens." The dryad instructed.

XXX XXX XXX

"They're not real diseases." Florence Bastien gasped in horror after the blue haired elf had helped her cypher through the necessary numbers.

"Well I suppose Edward will be glad to hear that, should I go tell him that any mental difficulties he's running into are quite literally all in his head? Better yet I could go to the graveyard and yell at the corpses of all the people who have died of Eleven about how lazy they are!" Cal mocked.

"Shouting at dead people that they need to show some motivation, there's an activity that has never ended badly for anyone..." Mirri noted sardonically.

"That wasn't my meaning." Florence cut him off before the argument could continue.

"What I was trying to say was that there is no way any naturally spreading disease should occur like this. It's all hills and valleys, and more to the point, there's never been more than three confirmed cases of Dum-Dum Fever, in the 'fever' stage at least, among the upper case at the same time.

The only thing more outrageous is how there really has never been a single documented case of Elevens among the upper class according to these books! These may be diseases, but someone is controlling them, guiding them, using them... like poisons." She explained solemnly.

"Think it might be the same person who is giving Dum-Dum Fever the power to resist healing magic? That would follow the lycanthrope model..." James pondered.

Alexander abruptly made a quick hand motion and in response the elf passed him her bag of holding.

From it he drew forth a piece of paper that was swiftly torn into six pieces.

"I'm going to write something down on this, I want you all to do the same." Alexander advised them, positioning himself to keep anyone from seeing what he wrote before he flipped the piece of paper.

No one objected to this seeming non sequitur and a magical quill that would always be wet with ink when its holder desired it was passed around.

Only once every member of the group had been given a chance to write did Alexander Diamondclaw turn his piece of paper over.

It bore a single word written in a large and rather unsteady script.

"Darklord."

Florence Bastien turned over her card.

"Darklord."

Cal flipped his up a moment later.

"Darklord."

Devi did likewise.

"Darklord."

Mirri tossed her piece of paper across the room so it landed on top of Alexander's.

"Darklord."

"Jeez, now I feel silly, I wrote 'coincidence' down." James Firecat chuckled ruefully.

Then he flipped his card over and his mirth grew noticeably less self-effacing.

It did not say "coincidence" not even close.

"Darklord."

"Right, glad to see we're all on the same page." Alexander declared with evident pride.

End Chapter

AN: First of all let me remind my readers, you get what you pay for. That is "very" evident in this chapter in my opinion, because I'm making this plot line up whole cloth rather than following an Adventurer Book and I worry that it shows here.

I'm successfully conveying the story I want to convey, but I worry that I'm missing several possible fun character beats with James and Mirri or Cal and Devi while the masquerade party is going on in favor of just simply doing a mental check list of what has to occur in order to keep the plot moving along. Maybe if I can get some feedback from you guys I'll be able to make this a better chapter, I always do my best work adapting someone else's base idea honestly...

For those of you who are interested, since Dryad's aren't mentioned in the Ravenloft Dungeon Master's Guide or anything similar here is Florence Bastien's Outcast Rating, for any given random domain with no special modifiers.

+1 For being of medium size.

+2 For being distinctly inhuman

+0 Reputation, I can't call this one in either direction, Dryad's probably aren't considered "good" but they probably aren't considered "evil" either. They are neither considered generally harmless like halflings or small children, or actively malicious like a zombie.

+1 Beyond the pale, Dryads are clearly Sylvan Fey and since they mention "Fey" which I'm assuming doesn't apply to just Shadow Fey I'm counting it.

+1 Unnatural Powers, people are going to assume a dryad has all sorts of weird tree/nature related powers, this is because they do, especially in Florence's case.

Total: 1+2+1+1= 5.

Outcast Rating 6 is the level where people tend to start screaming/running for cover when what you are is revealed. So Florence is going to likely get a lot of stink eye/long awkward pauses, but in most domains people aren't not going to start trying to burn her alive/build a bridge out of her first chance they get. She might very well be Outcast Rating 6 in Nosos simply because she clashes with the Zeitgeist of the domain, but on the other hand her Outcast Rating might be lower because people consider her less of a threat in a land where nature has been quite so heavily bent to man's will, so draw your own conclusion.

Florence traced her hands along the cup so she could cast "Purify Food and Drink" which in retrospect isn't a touch spell but maybe she just finds casting it that way more symbolically appropriate? Either way, when you're a dryad you take your water seriously, doubly so when you're in a domain where everything seems to be ecologically screwed up and you have no idea if your host bothered to first boil and then properly chill (not because the chilling the water to "drinkable" (non-iceube) levels has anything to do with sanitation, just because is there anyone who actually likes the "taste" of hot water?) the stuff beforehand, and figures it is more polite to just toss out a level zero spell rather than asking.

Also, allow me to describe exactly how Dum-Dum Fever works as written (in fan material since it never got a canon description), every day you're sick with it, make a fortitude role against the disease (DC 16) success means nothing happens, failure means you loose a "temporary" (as in you can get them back fairly easily once you're cured but read on...) point from Intelligence, a point from Wisdom, and a point from Charisma. Keep doing this EVERY DAY (as in EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE) until you have failed five such checks and thus lost five points from all three of your mental scores (and the ones you have lost do not come back with the passage of time unless you are cured). At that point you gain a moderate madness effect.

So while there's never been a distinct correlation between Int/Wis scores and IQ, it can make a simply brilliant businessman (int 15) decidedly average, while an average person would most likely end up in Forest Gump territory. It also causes the victims to slur their speech (both loss of Charisma and a directly listed symptom) and otherwise just about makes it impossible for anyone to take them seriously.

If this is all sounding much too convenient to be a naturally developing disease and much more as if it was tailor made to make someone incapable of running a business, congratulations, take your piece of paper and write "Darklord" down on it!

Also, the two most dangerous diseases of Nosos (Dum-Dum Fever and Elevens) in reality are "slightly" easier to cure than pathological lycanthropy, by which I mean they can be cured through magic, but only with a a wish or limited wish spell... and if I had anyone in the group capable of casting either of those spells, well only the Dark Powers twisting the results would possibly be able to make these stories interesting.

If you don't remember the Book Two notes when the characters say "White Mouth" you should think "Rabies". If you don't remember Book Three after spending some time in Paridon discussing the death of multiple "seamstresses" Cal decided that "getting your inseam adjusted" would be his new favorite polite way of saying going to visit a prostitute.

Finally please do not take the term that Edward uses to describe his condition as meant to be insulting to anyone, "embuggerance" is the word that Terry Pratchett (Noli Timere Messorem) used to describe his own debilitating mental illness though "luckily" for all of us Alzheimers takes a lot longer than Dum-Dum Fever to fully set in.


	3. Chapter 3

Monster Party Novella: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Three: Middle class, don't speak of it! Savoir Faire, we reek of it!

"I'm sorry she couldn't help you." Alexander reflected as he stood in the hall just outside Edward Resten's room.

The mansion's owner was now laying down in a large bed, a wet cloth draped across his head since at least some of the symptoms of Dum-Dum Fever could be treated.

"It's not so terrible. I already knew it could not be cured by science...finding out magic is also helpless was not such a terrible blow." He reflected.

"I was going to suggest that curing you of a horrific disease would be a fair trade for room and board, but since we can't live up to our end up that bargain I'll make arrangements for us to be gone in the morning." Alexander vowed.

"No!" Edward shouted, struggling against his bedsheets to sit up.

"If you're willing to stay in this house, and aren't afraid of catching the Fever yourselves, I could use all the company I can get. I never really had enough company... and before you make any crass remarks, you should know that I've never sunk to paying ladies for theirs! I really don't know how I caught the Fever... so perhaps it'd be for the best if you don't stay." He admitted laying back down.

Alexander responded by actually walking into the room.

"I've checked the books in your library, they seem to have more questions than answers when it comes to Dum-Dum Fever. Still, I don't think there's much chance that I'll contract it from you just because we spent some time talking to one another." The silver haired man pointed out.

"Well, talking is something that I can still do just fine, though I can't promise I'll always make sense. Suppose you might as well just tell me the story of how you got that sword. After all, even if Dum-Dum Fever eats away at a man's brain till he's got the mind of a child, even a child can still enjoy a good story." Edward pointed out, trying to glimpse a very thin silver lining to his condition.

"I'd rather not. I'd really rather not." Alexander admitted.

He reached out a hand and gently touched the pommel of his sword.

"It's not a happy story... at all. It's powerfully magical, but like many such objects it is also cursed. Every second I spend with it drawn is like an eternity, an eternity when my mind is assaulted by all my past mistakes, all my past sins." Alexander explained.

"Why do you still have it then? Is another aspect of the curse that it comes back to you even if you were to throw it into the ocean or better yet into a furnace?" Edward couldn't help but ask.

"I've never tried. I couldn't bear the thought of being without it.

Every second I spend with it drawn is an eternity. An eternity to strike down my foes, an eternity to reflected on how I've dedicated myself to being better than who I used to be.

Give me an actual eternity, and I might eventually cease to be deserving of such a curse." Alexander's voice was strangely soft and solemn as he spoke.

"I don't suppose that's the sort of tale a man would enjoy telling. Don't suppose you have any more cheerful ones about your adventures? Better yet, I don't suppose you could go on an adventure and find a cure for Dum-Dum Fever, I'd be able to pay you handsomely for it!" Edward Resten suggested, a few faint flickers of hope kindling within his breast as he spoke.

"If what you said about Nosos is true I don't think there's likely to be much in the way of 'adventures' to go on in Nosos. As for curing your disease..." Alexander hesitated and decided that there was no point in beating around the bush, besides, pretty soon nobody would take anything Edward said all that seriously.

"Do you know what a darklord is?" The silver haired man inquired.

"Haven't the foggiest." Edward admitted at once.

"Do you have any idea what the Core is?" Alexander tried again figuring he could start small and work his way up?

"Do I know what the Core is? I should have my manservant bring me a fresh pillow so I can throw it at you! I was born in Darkon! My father was one of the most prosperous merchants there, until one day Nosos came to the border.

He was overjoyed to discover that there was a land where instead of being 'just a merchant' he could be treated like a noble, better than a noble! It's what we deserve after all, we merchants make the world go round while nobles just sit in their castles!" Edward boasted with pride.

"Nosos... 'came to the border' of Darkon?" Alexander repeated that particular phrase as if to make sure that Edward wasn't already falling into the grip of delirium.

"You haven't been here long, but believe me, that's exactly how Nosos works. It's the strangest thing and probably drivers the map makers madder than... well some comparisons are best left unthought of. Still, strange as it may be, it's nothing but the truth.

Nosos will appear at the edge of some place or other, stay there for a week or so, and then wind up being somewhere else. Sometimes we're nowhere at all, but never for long enough that it becomes a real problem. We were 'nowhere' when last I checked, so you're very lucky to have been brought here." Edward explained.

"If you can call it luck." Alexander shot back, his glance shifting towards a nearby window and the site of the still falling rain which stole rather than brought life.

"It is luck. Well luck for me at least, since I don't know where else I'd be able to find someone to listen to a madman ramble on. I suppose I could hire someone... but it feels..." He trailed off, unable to properly express the concept.

"It feels less demeaning to simply have permanent house-guests?" Alexander supplied.

Edward nodded snapping his fingers in delight.

"That's it, that's it exactly! Anyway, if you keep your wits about you, Nosos could be lucky for you also. A man can make a fortune by nothing but the sweat of his brow and the brilliance of his brains. Why Lord Sceleris himself started with next to nothing, and it seems that he owns half, well at least a solid quarter of the town today!" Edward gushed.

"Oh did he? Tell me, how much of Malus Sceleris' history do you actually know?" Alexander's interest was piqued to say the least.

"Not that much, likes to keep things to himself, that's probably why he likes to host masquerades. He was a successful lumber baron when he first arrived, but then the trees died out..." Mr. Resten began.

"The trees, 'died out'? Was there some kind of plague, another disease?" Once again Alexander had a little trouble being certain that his host was still fully sane.

"Nothing so dramatic... they just died out. Malus and his men just kept cutting them down, from the tallest tree to the smallest sapling, they were all fed into his saw mills. Then one day, there weren't any trees left, but he was rich enough that he could buy his way into the mining business where he's made yet another killing." Edward explained calmly.

"You don't say, I'm already starting to suspect that Malus Sceleris must have made quite a few killings to wind up where he is today. Still, if that was a while ago, wouldn't all the saw mills be abandoned for lack of anything to use them on, wouldn't the trees have come back? Did Malus take the time dig up all their seeds?" The silver haired man asked in a voice torn between sarcasm and the sort of a horrific sensation that occurs in a man's stomach when he realizes his sarcastic question might be answered in the affirmative.

"Where would the profit have been in that? There are still a few small mills for when we buy lumber from other places, but I think the real reason there are no trees in Nosos is simply that whenever rain falls in Nosos it is... acid rain I think is the term our university boys use for it. Stuff is not good for plants at all, that's probably why no new trees have grown. Well that and the green tax." The sick man replied.

"Green tax?" Alexander gasped, certain that he wasn't going to like what he heard next.

"If there is one solid rule in Nosos; it's that a man's worth can only be measured by what he produces. Land should be the same way. Stone brick and mortar just sit there and don't require anything so they don't need to be penalized. On the other hand, 'green land', flower gardens and the like, they have to be fed, but they don't produce anything, so whoever owns them have to pay a tax to the city.

It's used to help pay for medical research that helps everyone. I don't begrudge having to pay a few dozen gold coins for my own little garden, not when the city has done so much for me. It was originally passed under Mayor Jorge who most people will agree was the best mayor the city ever had." Edward told Alexander, oblivious to the way that his guest was taking the news.

Alexander didn't say anything after Edward finished talking, he just stood there in silence, completely still except for the way that his fingers twitched.

"I must say though, we've gone a bit far afield of where this conversation originally started haven't we? What does all of this have to do with the Core?" The black haired man eventually reminded Alexander trying to start up the conversation again.

"Nothing, nothing at all, I was just going to tell you of the wonders of the Core, but it seems like you're already familiar enough with them. If it is true that Nosos is connected to various parts of the Core every so often then we'll probably be going as soon as it happens again." Alexander said calmly as he turned to leave.

Seeing that his guest planned to depart Edward Resten pounded a fist against his bed.

"No! You really should stay in Nosos for a while. There's something about you, can't say quite what, but I can tell you've got a keener mind than most.

You should try your hand in Nosos, I promise you, it's the only place where a self made man can really get the respect he deserves! There's no justice in the world if someone who can achieve great things is forced to scrape and bow to those who have never accomplished anything!

Tell you what... I'm in no shape to run a business. I could sell what I own to you at a discount, after all nobody is going to pay me what it is really worth now, not when they could just wait for the Fever to have its way with my mind." Edward offered.

"I'll think about it." Alexander promised before he abruptly exited the room.

XXX XXX XXX

"What are you doing?" Florence Bastien demanded sternly.

"Thinking." Alexander Diamondclaw answered at once.

"With Wolfclaw drawn?" Florence asked, even though the answer was obvious.

Alexander's sword was free of its sheath and held in one hand, balanced across his knees at the moment.

"I needed, I still need to think for a very long time." Alexander replied his voice utterly devoid of emotion.

"No, what you need to do is talk. More the point, you need to talk after sheathing Wolfclaw." The dryad insisted.

Alexander slowly turned his single eye upon her, but Florence stood firm against a glower that even James Firecat might have shied away from.

Slowly a pair of black gloved hands guided a shinning blade back into its sheath. Only once the blade had completed its journey did Florence take a seat next to Alexander.

"I thought you had grown beyond 'thinking' with Wolfclaw." She pointed out in a voice that wasn't so much hurt or angry as sad.

"That makes two of us." Alexander admitted.

Florence reached out and grabbed Alexander's eye patch.

"You're not getting this back until you explain what is bothering you." The dryad insisted.

A pair of mismatched eyes gazed at out from out of Alexander Diamondclaw's face.

"Edward offered to sell me his business. Part of me wanted to accept, not just to make sure he gets a fair price for it, but because businessmen seem to be the only ones with any real power in Nosos.

Except that I don't trust myself with that sort of power, especially not over so many people. I can do a good job with a five. With five, I know everything about them and they know everything about me. Give me fifty though..." Alexander simply let that particular sentence trail off into utter silence.

"Even if you had fifty, five hundred, or even five thousand, you'd still have five, you'd still have me. I've spent too much time cultivating my favorite silver rose to let it go astray now." Florence promised him.

"Do you think that I'm a better man now than when we first met?" Alexander wanted, needed to know.

"A better man? Not really.

You've got an ego larger than an elder treent, you lie almost as much as Mirri does, if you're not being smugly superior then you're probably acting hopelessly morose, and when you sleep you make a sound that would have long ago convinced any woman without the patience of a tree to smother you with a pillow.

As a wolf though, I think you've made marked improvements: you've loyal, you're fierce, you devote yourself fully to the hunt, and most importantly, you've never failed to provide for your pack.

As a man, Alexander Diamondclaw you're a sub par at best, as a wolf, well you're nearly divine." Florence told him.

"Nearly?" Alexander snapped back, said larger than an elder treent ego mightily offended.

Then his voice took a turn for the serious.

"There's something wrong with Nosos that can't be solved with teeth or claws, no matter how sharp." Alexander warned her.

"I know. I've never been somewhere as far removed from the touch of Gaia as this place is. Still, if you can't use your teeth, why don't you try solving it with your tongue?" Florence suggested as she placed the eyepatch back over his right eye

"I really don't deserve you." Alexander reflected.

"At least you admit it." Florence smiled back.

XXX XXX XXX

"Devi, I said that if I was going to buy Sir Resten's business then I would need to know what exactly he was offering us. Be a good Beta and run through these books and condense it into something I can follow. If you need help ask your mate, he's always loved counting coins, now is his chance to do it on a truly grand scale." Alexander advised, sliding several ledgers across the table to Devi Skye.

XXX XXX XXX

A few hours later her findings were ready.

"We're richer than he is. I don't mean 'we' collectively either, I mean each of us individually has more in the way of total assets than Edward Resten, except for James.

Though that is assuming Mirri would be willing to sell her paintings in Dementlieu or someplace similar. My point is, due to our history of acquiring noticeable windfalls of profit combined with a lack of major expenses, well it all adds up quite nicely over time.

What really takes us over the top though was the money we recently acquired from Yagno Petrovna and the now extinct Church of Zhakata.

As for the business itself, Resten Jewelery at the moment consists of one small, but quite profitable store, and a mine along with attached facilities for prettying up the base gems that come out of said mine. He also has some established contacts with other mines to purchase lumps of raw silver or gold so that they can be crafted into jewelery.

Baring the mine itself suddenly going dry, or rich people suddenly all deciding that they no longer like to wear shiny things it seems a pretty sound investment.

Granted for the investment to pay off we'd either need to stay in Nosos for a while or find someone to run the business for us and drop off our share of the earnings with various people we trust across the Core." Devi explained to the group with an almost casual air.

"Well I suppose we're going to stay in Nosos for a while then." Alexander declared with a shrug.

"I'm not talking about weeks, I'm talking about months, possibly eve a year just for us to break even." Devi pointed out, just to make the time frame she was talking about abundantly clear.

"As long as it takes." Alexander replied, still unruffled by the news.

"An entire year? Boss, you do realize that we normally blow into a domain, do something to upset the local darklord, give him what for, and leave, all inside a week most of the time? Are you sure you want to spend a year in one realm, especially this one?" Cal protested.

"If I can find a way to stand the smell so can you. Besides Beta, you'll finally get a chance to focus your attention no making money rather than nearly being killed day in day out. By all rights you should be begging me to stay!" Alexander shot back.

"Why? You want us to devote an entire year of our lives to just one place, and it's so small James and I could still see each other on opposite sides of it. Not only that, but you heard Edward, there aren't any monsters, what am I supposed to do for fun?" Mirri Catwarrior protested.

Alexander responded by wrapping an arm around Mirri's shoulder, an action that for him was unusual enough to instantly have her on edge.

"You want to know why Nosos Mirri? Because I'm starting to think that there is a sickness here, a sickness not of the body like Elevens, not of the mind like Dum-Dum Fever, but a sickness of the soul.

A sickness that we can either stamp out here and now, or we can expect to watch it spread to the rest of the Core sooner or later. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a year, maybe not in a decade, but tell me, how long do you plan to live for?

Edward told me that Nosos attracts merchants from other lands, what happens when those merchants decide that rather than move to Nosos... they'll just bring the things that make Nosos so 'great' to their own homelands instead?

Borca will be the first I'm sure of it, after that Dementlieu, then Lamordia. Jacqueline Renier may well be able to keep it from happening to Richemulot, or maybe she'll have died of old age when it happens. Vlad Drakov will love it, if he can be made to understand it.

We've never been sent someplace by the Mists without a reason, and I'd be willing to bet all the money Devi just talked about that this is the reason for us coming to Nosos. We're here to stop this now while it can still be stopped." Alexander insisted before releasing Mirri from his grip.

She immediately began to rub the shoulder in question as Alexander had been gripping so tightly.

"I get that part, but you still haven't told me what I'm supposed to do for fun." She pouted.

"Well for a start you can head out around town and introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Be your normal charming self and discover whatever you can, then pass it along to Devi. Some things just don't change, I still need to know who is in control of what, how they maintain control of it, their strengths, their weaknesses." Alexander ordered.

"That might take me about a week, what comes next?" Mirri shot back.

"Ask me in a week. In the meantime, James keep her company, you've always been good at stopping one another from getting distracted." The silver haired man nonchalantly answered.

James Firecat instantly saluted with his left hand and bobbed his head in agreement drawing closer to Mirri and taking over the task of rubbing her shoulder.

"Now then, before I get started on anything else, I've got something important to tell you. Even leaving aside the issues of how long we plan to stay here, there is going to be another big difference you all have to be aware of. I do not handle power over large groups of people well, the last time I had it, I went a little bit crazy... mistakes were made." Alexander admitted.

"You doing something 'crazy' Boss? Why I couldn't even begin to imagine what you're talking about." The blond haired man gushed in mock shock and horror.

"Yes, I know I'm normally the very image of restraint." Alexander replied matching Cal's sarcasm like for like.

Seeing that he'd failed to get a rise out of his commander the Lamordian switched to sincerity, or at least something approaching it.

"Look on the bright side Boss, unless you actually catch Dum-Dum Fever the odds of you going crazy are pretty low. Insanity is something that happens to poor people, you'll just be eccentric." He advised.

"I'll keep that in mind. By the way Cal... you have more experience with 'civilization' that I do. If I'm going to be spending a lot of time in Nosos then I have to look the part. I want you to help me pick out a new outfit." Alexander admitted.

"Clothes shopping, wheee, that'll be fun." The alchemist "cheered" in a completely monotone voice.

XXX XXX XXX

"To start with, I'm going to need one of those fancy head things that Edward was wearing..."

"A top hat."

XXX XXX XXX

"Next, I'll have to get a new black coat, one that looks a little more 'professional' and a little less 'professional soldier' if you follow my meaning."

"Morning coat."

"Yes, and see if they can make the buttons out of silver and stylize them to look like the full moon."

"They're buttons, they're already round, I'm not sure how much more moon like they can be..."

"But you'll ask?"

XXX XXX XXX

"Next up, one of those flapping neck thingies, though I'm not sure exactly what purpose they're supposed to serve."

"A tie, and honestly neither am I."

XXX XXX XXX

"If I'm going to run a business I'm going to need one of those fancy portable sunless sundials you have."

"A time piece."

"I want it made out of silver. Also, see if they can get me a silent one, the noises yours makes drives me up a wall sometimes."

"Boss, I have some heart breaking news for you..."

XXX XXX XXX

"One of those half glasses on a string I've seen people wearing..."

"Monocle, but Boss you have perfect vision."

"I'll wear it over my right eye."

"You'll wear a monocle... over your eye patch... Doesn't that defeat the entire point of having one?"

"No, the point of me having one is to tell people I'm rich."

XXX XXX XXX

"Then I'll need one of those fancy small walking sticks."

"A cane."

"Yes, and its handle should be a snarling wolf's head, in silver."

XXX XXX XXX

"Cufflinks?"

"Silver wolf paws."

XXX XXX XXX

"Oooh they have eye patches with designs painted on them, never even thought of that..."

"Let me guess, you'd like one with a silver wolf?"

"Lets see if they have a discount if you buy in bulk."

XXX XXX XXX

"Tie clip?"

"Crescent moon."

"Silver, right?"

"Don't be silly, that has to be in gold."

XXX XXX XXX

"Finally for the pièce de résistance..."

"I wish you'd resist..."

"What was that Beta?"

"Nothing..."

"I'll need a belt buckle. I want something classy that says 'I'm so rich I could have just hired a comely maiden to walk around holding my pants up' to everyone."

"Don't worry, something tells me this place probably sells a lot of those..."

"In the shape of a wolf breaking free of chains. In silver."

"You know Boss it'd probably be easier just to paint 'why yes I am a werewolf' on your new hat if you wanted to make it so blindly obvious."

"What do you mean? What sane werewolf would ever even think about wearing this much silver?"

"How about 'why yes I am a wolfwere' then?"

"That's a fair point. Excuse me sir, do you know where it'd be possible to buy jewelery made out of cold iron?

In this very store you say? What superb selection!"

XXX XXX XXX

"Ladies and Lycanthrope, Madams and Monsters, may I present to you, the new 'civilized' and not the least bit insane Alexander Diamondclaw." Cal deadpanned before gesturing towards an empty doorway.

Alexander Diamondclaw walked through it.

If he'd stepped onto a stage to play the part of a businessman with more wealth than common sense or morals the audience would have hurled produce at him for trying to turn the production into a farce.

James Firecat applauded enthusiastically.

"They say that there hasn't been a wolf in Nosos for decades... I say that means it's well past time they made a resurgence." Alexander declared with a predatory bearing of his fangs.

End Chapter

AN: Please remember that Alexander Diamondclaw is a Chaotic Good, and of the "good is not nice" school. He will not hesitate to use "Jedi Truths" or even out and out lie to NPCs, even the ones he likes.

He is however pretty much perfectly honest with the group (especially Florence) preferring to just say nothing at all on subjects he find awkward/unpleasant when talking with them.

Also, as originally written Nosos can only show up at the border of lands that have a misty border, but misty borders are pretty rare in "modern" (as in the current cannon not the level of technological advancement) Ravenloft.

So instead I'm going to have Nosos work by just suddenly showing up on the border of another domain, temporarily pushing back whatever used to be there to the other side of Nosos.

There are all kinds of geographic/tectonic reasons why that should create quite a few problems, but I'll assume that much like how the Discworld never runs out of water, "arrangements are made" by the Dark Powers to keep Nosos' arrival from causing such upsets.

It may be self congratulatory, but I don't think I've ever found any scene quite so blatantly humerus/amusing in any of the Monster Party stories I've written is the description (or lack there of) of Cal and Alex shopping for clothing.

If these stories were being told in a visual medium we'd probably only be seeing their silhouettes through various store front windows while Alex acquires an ever growing numbers of bags/parcels as he collects everything that catches his eye, and we'd have no idea what he looks like until he reveals himself to the rest of the group.

This not being a visual medium, I just dropped the "tags" that normally follow after someone's line or even any kind of narration. I just let the dialogue speak for itself, even going so far as to "mute" anyone else they might possibly be talking with and simply show Alex's reaction to them in the last segment. I'm not sure if "cold iron jewelery" is a thing you can buy in real life, but it probably is in D&D when you never know if you'll need to beat a Fey/Wolfwere to death with your belt.

Also if you're wondering why Alex wants the tie clip made out of gold rather than silver, it's because he's effectively doing some long distance /cross domain trolling of Alfred Timothy, one of Ravenloft's most famous werewolves who always wears a golden amulet in the shape of a crescent moon around his throat regardless of what shape he takes. Alex and Alfred have never met, but Alfred is famous enough (in story at least) as the other silver furred werewolf that Alex knows about him.

If you can't tell/guess Alex is not vulnerable to gold, silver or cold iron. He does have his vulnerabilities, (in fact if you've been paying close attention you may have already spotted one) but fear of them is unlikely to influence his choice of attire.


	4. Chapter 4

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Four: Which side are you on?

"So there it is, one lump sum in exchange for all my business assets and this house." Edward Resten was sitting up at a table with Alexander seated opposite him. He'd insisted that they both be seated, it just wouldn't do for him to conduct a business deal while laying down.

"You do have a plan for what you're going to do with the money? Like buy someplace new to live?" Alexander reminded the black haired man. Edward was being kind enough to him that Alexander didn't want Edward to wind up half mad wandering the streets of Nosos trying to literally build a home out of golden coins.

"I've already got a second smaller place out in the southern part of the city, bought it off of a nobleman who was been smart enough to realized there was no place for decadent aristocrats in the future of Nosos. I even have a few friends who already live out there. I haven't seen in far too long, not since they got the Fever themselves..." Edward admitted a strange mix of melancholy and hope in his voice.

"I'm glad to hear it, I don't want to end up kicking you out of your own house but..." Alexander began.

Edward dashed off a quick scrawl on the piece of paper before him and slid it across the table to Alexander.

"Pish tosh, it's not my house anymore, at least not once you sign. Besides, I imagine it won't be long before you'll be conducting all sorts of business deals and parties here. There's no way your guessed could properly enjoy themselves if they were worried about catching my condition." Edward insisted.

Alexander dipped his quill pen into the bottle of ink that had been set out before him and signed.

"I'll visit you every week and tell you how the business is doing." The silver haired man promised.

"If your head is as soft as your heart you'll be bankrupt inside a month." Edward predicted.

XXX XXX XXX

Thus it was that Alexander Diamondclaw, Florence Bastien, Cal Wright, Devi Skye, Mirri Catwarrior and James Firecat moved from being simply "renters" to "owners" in the parlance of Nosos.

XXX XXX XXX

"This is most unorthodox you know..." Grumbled Alrek Deep-Minded the dwarfish "foreman" (foredwarf?)of the mine that Alexander Diamondclaw had recently purchased.

For a response the silver haired man simply waved a piece of paper in his direction.

"I mean, if you were doing this before you bought the mine and wanted to know what you were getting into and Mr. Resten was okay with letting you look that'd be all well and good. Right now though, if you got sold you a bill of goods, which you didn't, it'd be too late to do anything about it." Protested the demi-human whose head came up not much past Alexander's belly button.

For a second time that piece of paper was waved in the dwarf's face.

"If there are things you wanted to know about the mine or the workers you could just ask me..." Alrek added, needing to break into a light jog in order to keep up with the taller man's much longer strides.

"I own the mine, that means I can inspect it personally for any reason, or even no reason at all. That's part and parcel of the whole 'owning' process as I understand it." Alexander explained, a copy of his and Edward's agreement gripped tightly in his right hand.

"I'm just saying, the mine is no place for a man of your stature." The dwarf warned him.

"If you haven't heard it from someone else first, let me tell it to you directly; I got the money I bought this mine with from adventuring. So, this won't be the first time I've gone underground.

As for my clothing, don't worry, my lady love knows a few magical spells for keeping an outfit looking pristine. Normally I have her employ them because blood stains are quite tenacious, but they should defend equally well against more mundane sources of defilement." The silver haired man insisted.

"All right, but whatever you do, don't talk to anyone else, and don't touch anything without asking me first. You may own the mine and have come here to get better acquainted with it, but if you're not careful..." The dwarf warned.

"I'll become so well acquainted that I'll never want to leave." Alexander finished for him.

"More like never be able to leave, but you're close enough to the mark." Alrek admitted in a tone of voice that suggested he almost resented Alexander being aware of the danger.

He took some flint and steel that was hanging by the mine's entrance, used them to ignite a similarly placed lamp and headed in.

Alexander followed after him and abruptly bumped his head on the ceiling, nearly having his hat knocked off in the process.

"Told you a mine was no place for a man of your stature." The dwarf noted a touch smugly.

"It is all right... I've had some experience going on all fours." Alexander replied and indeed soon settled into a quadrupedal stance.

The mine wasn't quite so small that it was necessary, it was more than small enough to make standing up straight impossible for Alexander Diamondclaw.

"Profits are going to be down for today by the way, and we may have to double back a bit every so often to make room for carts and people who are trying to actually work." Alexander's guide further warned him.

"Sounds reasonable enough." The silver haired man replied as the pair further pressed on into the mine.

XXX XXX XXX

"What is that?" Alexander said gesturing towards one of the walls.

"What is what?" Mr. Deep-Minded replied with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"Walk forward another ten paces. Then do I have your permission to touch the wall?" Alexander requested politely.

"Do it soft like. If you start banging your fists against it I'll kill you myself before the rocks have a chance." The dwarf warned.

"Duly noted." The mine's owner reflected.

They advanced the required number of paces and then Alexander shifted to balancing on only three limbs so that he could gently run a hand against the wall.

He brushed aside some loose stones and dust, revealing that someone had evidently chipped a "U" into the wall.

"What's that?" Alexander repeated gesturing at the letter.

"Nothing." The dwarf insisted refusing to meet Alexander's gaze.

"If it is 'nothing' then someone wouldn't have bothered to try and hide it. What is it?" Alexander wanted to know.

"Nothing you need to worry about. It is just a bit of mine sign. People need to leave each other notes and there isn't exactly a lot of paper down here. So we use mine sign instead to inform one another about where the best veins are, or which spots you have to be especially careful around. Once they're no longer valid they get filled in, like that one was." The dark haired dwarf explained.

"So what does that particular bit of 'mine sine' stand for?" Alexander inquired calmly.

There was an awkward pause. The kind of awkward pause which is produced by someone who is not especially adept a the art of dissembling trying to think up a convincing lie on the spot.

"Mr. Deep-Minded, right now it seems that either you're not telling me the truth, or you don't know what's going on down here. Let me warn you, I'm perfectly content to fire you for either way."

"Duly noted." The dwarf reflected.

"Look it is a bit complicated and it really isn't your concern, I've got it taken care of. Still, if you really must know, this isn't the place to discuss it. Let's get back to the surface and leave the boys to their work all right?" He practically pleaded.

In all honesty Alexander hadn't been quite sure what he expected to find when he'd decided to embark on this particular expedition, he'd simply felt that it was his duty to go. Now that he'd found something that disturbed the locals though, well it must mean that he was doing something right...

XXX XXX XXX

"So what exactly does that shape represent? The site of a ritual sacrifice that needs to be carried out to appease an evil spirit which haunts the mine? A location where a horrible monster sleeps ready to break free at a moment's notice? An area that's under the affect of some sort of bizarre spell where people start thinking up is down and down is up till they wander through the darkness for what remains of their sad lives? A section of the mine where the ground stands ready to erupt in boiling magma?" Alexander guessed, figuring that simply by listing off the all most likely possibilities he was bound to come somewhat close to the truth.

He had acquiesced to Alrek Deep-Minded's suggestion about leaving the mine (it was nice to be able to stand up straight, you needed a different kind of spine to be truly comfortable on all fours) and instead the pair was continuing the conversation inside a small shed where the worker's tools were stored.

The dwarf just stood there completely silently for a few moments.

"I don't know if I should laugh or cry, I really don't." He eventually admitted.

"What, I was right?" The silver haired man drove the point home.

"Look, you're obviously rich or else you wouldn't have been able to buy this place from Mr. Resten. You've obviously weren't lying about being an adventurer, since you came up with all of that in the time it took us to get back here. That said, it is equally obvious you don't know Nosos, at all. The 'U' is mine sign for 'union' if you absolutely have to know." The dwarf told him.

"What, do you have vampires that are consummating their unnatural affection for one another in the mine? Honestly that one didn't even occur to me, the cloud cover you folks get seems to be so thick that a vampire wouldn't care if it was midnight or noon." Alexander pondered.

"Not that kind of union!" Alrek growled in the sort of exasperated tones a school teacher might use to an especially dim pupil.

"Look, I keep a few toughs on the payroll for exact this kind of thing along with guarding jewelery shipments. They'll take care of it, it doesn't need to concern you." He promised Alexander.

"Which of us owns this mine?" Alexander asked point blank.

"You do." Mr. Deep-Minded eventually admitted, after needing to take a moment to ponder the question in full.

"That's right. So if something is happening in that mine, and I say it's my business, then it is my business. If I hear there's been a cave in, and I want to try to dig out with my bare hands you should stand back and let me do it. Now, since clearly 'union' means something different in Nosos than I'm used to it meaning, explain it to me." Alexander ordered.

The dwarf did.

Alexander listened.

Then he stood there pondering for a minute or so before he came to a decisive conclusion.

"You do... whatever it is exactly you're getting paid to do for a bit. I'm going back to my new mansion to get my translator. When I come back with him you can tell all that to him, and hopefully he can make sense of it." He decided.

"Your translator? We're both speaking Balok!" Alrek blustered.

Alexander didn't care, he had a plan and he was carrying it out.

XXX XXX XXX

"Okay lets try that again from the top." Alexander suggested.

"Before I get started... is he always this hardheaded?" The dwarf couldn't help but ask.

"I've seen him dent platemail with it. On the other hand, he walked away upright and the guy in the platemail didn't, so at least he has that going for him." Cal Wright replied in commiseration.

"If we even run into a vein of diamonds we can't dislodge I'll suggest he goes down and deals with it himself then. Now... first off, he understands the fact that he's got a lot of people working for him, right?" The dwarf began again.

"You don't have to conduct this conversation like I'm not in the room you know." Alexander pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure he follows you that far." Cal answered blatantly disregarding Alexander's suggestion.

"Well all those people, he has an individual relationship with each one of them." Alrek continued.

"I followed that part, it was just the stuff that came after I had trouble with." Alexander insisted.

"So what the workers want to do by forming a union is to insist that they all receive exactly equal treatment and payment under the terms of their employment." The blue eyed dwarf continued.

Alexander shot cal Cal a questioning glance.

"They all want to be betas." The alchemist "translated" after contemplating the matter for a moment.

"Well that would never work. A pack without an omega functions no better than one without an alpha." Alexander replied.

Now it was Alrek Deep-Minded's turn to shoot Cal a a questioning glance.

"He grasps that you can't possibly have everyone be equal, you need people on the top to give orders and those on the bottom to follow them." He "translated" in the "opposite direction" this time.

"If they get their foot in the door then they're going to demand that instead of having a relationship with each individual worker, you have to deal with the union as a whole!" Alrek continued on, glad that he was making progress, though given how bizarre this process was becoming he was starting to feel like it might be time to start searching for another source of employment all the same.

"You know what Boss this isn't that difficult a concept. Every time he says 'union' just think 'pack' instead. The workers want to form a 'pack' and instead of you talking or dealing with any individual member, you deal with the 'pack' as a whole." Cal suggested.

"Well that aspect at least sounds sensible, wouldn't it save time?" Alexander questioned.

Cal turned back to the dwarf and threw in a shrug for effect.

"He's got you there, if you establish a simple system of who gets paid what for what job and never stray from it then it probably would save time." The alchemist suggested.

"Well look, even leaving aside all the problems they would create it's important to remember that unions are illegal." The dwarf protested.

"Why?" Alexander inquired.

"Because it runs afoul of the city's strict laws against workers colluding with one another outside of the official capacity that they've been hired for!" The dwarf exclaimed.

Cal pondered that for a moment, was about to say something but Alexander silenced him with a hand motion.

"So you're saying, these people I hire, so that they can all work for me... there's a law in place to keep them from working with each other?" Alexander asked, clearly having trouble grasping this concept, in so far as he didn't believe he could possibly be correct.

"That's right." Alrek confirmed.

"That idiotic." Alexander replied.

"I'm with Boss on this one." Cal noted as he was clearly not going to try and alter Alexander's opinion.

"It's the law." Was the only reply the dwarf could give.

"Still, it's only illegal so long as they're meeting for reasons that don't deal with their employment, correct?" Alexander inquired, his expression starting to become more confident and unsurprisingly more predatory.

"Right." Was all that Alrek said, not wanting to give the silver haired man any more ideas.

"Then tomorrow morning they're all ordered to come to my mansion instead of the mine. I'll expect them there by nine, and they'll be 'working' there for the morning, I'll even make sure we have plenty of food on hand for lunch." Alexander declared jovially.

"You're going to throw away an entire morning shift's worth of work?" The foreman gasped in shock.

"Don't worry I'll make sure everyone still gets paid normally. Oh, and spread the word around to the people who run the jewelery shop and the gem craters, they should come also." Alexander declared before standing up to leave.

"You're serious?" Alrek Gasped.

"No, I just like giving out orders and then watching my subordinates ignore them. See you tomorrow at nine or your fired!" Alexander concluded with a jaunty tip of his hat before leaving the shack.

"He's crazy." The dwarf all but whimpered.

"He's eccentric, crazy is something that happens to poor people. Besides, he may be eccentric like a wolf, but believe me, he knows how to get results." The alchemist insisted.

"Cal, come!" Alexander barked form outside and the blond haired man followed.

XXX XXX XXX

"Devi we're going to have a lot of guests tomorrow. Look up exactly how many employees we have, then get in touch with all those servants who we picked up when we bough this place and tell them that they're going to have to make an appropriately sized meal, no make that a feast tomorrow!" Alexander insisted.

"Anything else you need to have me take care of for you?" She replied in a rather exasperated voice.

"Yes, we need to purchase some textile goods, a flag, as many silver armbands as you can find." Alexander confirmed.

End Chapter.

AN: See if nothing else the advantage of telling a story in Nosos is that I get to tell a different kind of story than I would normally would, and our main characters are flexible enough (a lifetime of being shuffled around by the Mists will teach you to to roll with the punches) to handle it.

Just like Book Three was a mystery rather than any approaching a traditional D&D adventure this book... well if you can't tell what some of its main themes are going to be by this point I wouldn't want to ruin your surprise.


	5. Chapter 5

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Five: Generous, Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Loyalty!

Very confused but vaguely hopeful (if also vaguely frightened) workers made their way into the recently renamed Chateau Argent (James Firecat had suggested the name on the principle of everything sounding more classy in Mordentish (even he personally favored the low form of the language)) many of them seeing wealth beyond their moderately wild dreams.

The design of the mansion (and the fact that certain doors had been locked in preparation for their arrival) guided them into a grand ballroom where Alexander Diamondclaw stood waiting.

He stood there waiting and waiting and waiting. He pulled out his new timepiece and listened to the gears ticking while he watched the tiny hands move.

Eventually he spoke.

"Well it says 9:03, I gave a little extra leeway in case I set this thing incorrectly, but by now it must be roughly 9:00 more or less. My name if you lot didn't know it already is Alexander Diamondclaw. I recently purchased Resten Jewelery from Edward Resten.

I know some of you may be wondering what exactly that means. To start with I'm going to completely dissolve Resten Jewelery." Alexander explained.

He then waited exactly long enough for everyone to develop an expression of horror upon their faces, but no long enough for the pleading, begging, or crying to begin.

"In its place I'm going to form a new company to employ all the same people as the old one, but with a new name, new emblem, and a few new business practices." He added comfortingly.

Sure enough that news promptly reset his guest's emotional state back to the same blend of hope and fear that they'd entered with.

"As of this moment, you all work for Amalgamated Diamonds!" Alexander declared while slashing the air with his right hand.

A moment later Cal and Devi pulled a pair of wires and a large flag unfurled behind Alexander. It was made of predominantly black cloth and depicted three wolves turning their heads upwards to offer up howls of reverence towards a full moon.

There was near perfect silence from those gathered there before him.

"So... that, is our new emblem then?" One timid person eventually couldn't help but ask.

At Alexander's nod another question forced its way free from his lips, though the speaker looked as though he would have deeply preferred to stay silent in retrospect.

"But... it doesn't really have anything to do with diamonds does it?" He ventured.

"You're correct, I just like the way that it looks." Alexander admitted.

He was not winning over the crowd at the moment, he was very much aware of that fact. On the other hand, Alexander had a captive audience and if he could keep them from making a break for the doors through this part then the rest of it should be easy enough.

"Now do any of you know what this is?" Alexander asked as he raised his right arm and used his left to gesture towards another recent addition to his attire. It was a silver arm band with black writing upon it.

A sea of blank faces gazed back at him.

"That's what I expected, because right now none of you have your own. This thing is my badge of loyalty to Amalgamated Diamonds. Most of you probably can't see it clearly enough but it has 'Alexander Diamondclaw' and 'Alpha' written on it. Do you folks know what it means that I'm the Alpha?" Alexander inquired to the crowd assembled before him.

"It means you're in charge?" One of the workers ventured, his voice more than a touch unsure.

"That's right. I'm in charge. I'm the boss. I'm the leader. I give the orders. I make the decisions. It means that I am responsible." Alexander vowed.

The side doors to the ballroom opened allowing his companions to enter, all five of them carrying countless silver armbands. Like their commander they also now wore silver armbands with their respective names and "Alpha" written on it.

"We've been working on these all night, going over the books, seeing who works for me an in what capacity. Everyone who works for me, as long as they are on the job, they'll wear one of these armbands depicting their name and their position in my pack. If you find that too much of an imposition feel free to leave." The silver haired man declared.

"Granted even if you think I'm a lunatic you might want to hang around long enough to at least eat my food before you go." He added a moment later half jokingly.

"If you do stick around, I hope you'll find me a relatively fair employer. Everything I believe can basically be boiled down into three principles: I will be obeyed, I will brook no betrayal within my pack, and I will be responsible." Alexander explained, before jumping down off the raised section of the floor he'd been speaking from to stand alongside his new followers.

"Being an Alpha means I am responsible for the health and well being of my pack. If someone wearing one of these armbands has no den to call their own, I am failing! If someone wearing one of these armbands doesn't leave work with enough money in their pocket to keep themselves or their family from starving, I am failing! If someone wearing one of these armbands is menaced by monster or man and can find no one to protect them, I am failing! If I make a promise to someone wearing one of these armbands and do not live up to it, I, am, failing!" Alexander vowed, his voice dreadfully earnest.

"That's how this is supposed to work after all, I may be new to Nosos, but I'm not new to loyalty. It's a simple thing. So simple that wolves figured it out, and probably well before our own ancestors did. Humanity is at its best when we look to nature and figure out how to draw inspiration from it. No one does loyalty better than wolves. Service in exchange for protection, it is a concept that we humans seem to have problems with sometimes." Alexander told them.

While he spoke, the other five circulated around the room. They softly asked various members of the crowd what their name was, then either handed them an armband or more likely went off to speak with one of the other four who had that person's armband. It was by no means a streamlined or efficient process, but if it took a while that just gave Alexander more time to talk.

"I'm willing to bet that there aren't any caribou in Nosos, so let me tell you about them. They're sort of like a cross between a cow and a horse, with the general weight of the former, and the body shape of the later. They're great big powerful beasts that can cave a man's chest in with one good kick. So they're bigger than wolves, stronger than wolves, and herds of caribou are much bigger than packs of wolves.

Wolves hunt them though, they hunt them, and they succeed at it. Do you know why?" He inquired to his audience.

Unsurprisingly no one answered.

"There are three reasons.

The first is hunger. If a caribou kills a wolf, all it has accomplished is killing the wolf. Caribou don't eat meat. If the wolves kill a caribou, that means food for the entire pack. Wolves are hungry, they want victory more.

The second is determination. There's exactly one non-magical creature in the world which can cross truly long distances on foot better than wolves, and that's us. So wolves can run a lot longer than caribou can. So run they will, wolves will run, and run, and run until the the caribou start getting tired and making mistakes. Wolves have determination, they plan for the long run.

The third reason is loyalty. When a caribou falls, the other members of the herd just keep right on running, willing to trade the life of one of their companions so long as it selfishly ensures their own safety. Wolves on the other paw are loyal to each other, loyal to the pack.

So, all of you need to ask yourselves three distinct questions.

Are you hungry, are you determined, and are you loyal?

Because if you are, then you'll be my wolves, and I'll be your Alpha." Alexander promised them.

There was a lot of silence, people clearly weren't quite sure what to make of this turn of events. Not that this bothered Alexander, it had taken the other five a while to get used to his particular way of thinking also. To be perfectly honest, it had taken Alexander Diamondclaw a while to get used to Alexander Diamondclaw's particular way of thinking.

"Which brings us around to the subject of unions, and not in the matrimonial sense." The silver haired man announced.

There was a lot of askance looks here and there among various members of the crowd, clearly this was not a subject they were comfortable hearing him talk about.

"I'm in favor of them. An Alpha can't lead effectively if he doesn't know the concerns of his pack, and I simply can't take the time to get in touch with each one of you individually. I just can't, there won't be enough hours in the day.

I am a bit on the eccentric side though so I'll probably spend the rest of today trying all the same.

Still, if Amalgamated Diamonds gets bigger, which is exactly what I plan for it to do, the sheer weight of numbers will bury me. So I want you to form a union, so that all of those problems can be gathered together and brought to me in one bundle to consider and deal with, rather than having to face them piecemeal." Alexander insisted.

There was a lot more silence in the room. The reaction would not have been too dissimilar if a pride of lions had approached a herd of sheep and politely explained that since the shepard and his dogs were feeling ill today they'd be filling in.

"You're just going to fire anyone who joins the union or complains!" One miner a touch paradoxically complained.

Alexander just stood there tapping his booted right foot for a moment. He hadn't expected this part of the talk to be such a hard sell, but if they wanted to make him work for it he would.

"Fine, if that's really how you feel about it, we'll do it like this. First, I give you lot a gold coin. Then, I want you lot to go out and hire the first beggar, vagrant or similar you can find, just make sure they have a decent memory. Bring him back here, and take him to some room on the second floor of my mansion.

At that point make him put on a blindfold.

Then you can start telling him about... I don't know whatever exactly it is unions are supposed to talk about. While you are doing that, I'm going to go out and find my own man to hire for the day. I'll bring him back here, and make him wear a blindfold, while I stay in either the cloakroom or the ballroom. Once that is done, some of you can lead my blindfolded man to your blindfolded man.

At that point I, and anyone else you have concerns over will put on a blindfold just to grant you some extra peace of mind.

Your man will tell my man what he's heard, then my man will tell me. I'll have a rough outline of what your concerns are, but at the same time my man will have no idea who exactly was complaining, since he won't even know what the people who talked to your man sound like.

My man and your man go their separate ways, not taking their blindfolds off till they leave the building, and they'll be leaving something like five or ten minutes apart. Unless I pick your man at random out of every person living on the streets of Nosos, there's no way I'll know who had individual complaints. Does that satisfy you?" Alexander suggested.

There was a long pause.

"Could we hear that again, from the start, it was rather complicated...?" One worker requested.

"I think it'd probably best for all of us if the next time I try and explain it I draw some pictures as well..." Alexander reflected as he'd be the first to admit that his plan was cumbersome in the extreme even if it should end up being effective.

"That said, since we'll probably have to do this more than once, probably something like once a month, I'll add the two gold coins we're going to end up spending to the salary of any man who is willing to just listen to the concerns of his fellow workers and then bring them directly to me." Alexander suggested.

"Snitch on us you mean!" Still another of his employees blurted out before he could help himself.

"Guess we'll be sticking to the two vagrants three blindfolds plan then. I'll go see if I can find a really big piece of parchment to lay it out on..." Alexander reflected.

XXX XXX XXX

"Some of them want you to pay the men with families more since they have a wife or children to feed. Some of them don't want you to do that since it means they'll be getting paid less just because they don't have a wife or kids.

There was a general request for shorter work hours, especially on on prayer day. Also two hard boiled eggs, though I'm not sure if that was a request for two 'single' hard boiled eggs, or for every man to get two..." The blindfolded beggar told the blindfolded Alexander Diamondclaw.

XXX XXX XXX

"Eleven hour work days, four on prayer day, the amount you get paid per day will not be decreased, in fact you're all getting a ten percent raise. I've also got two hard boiled eggs that I'm going to leave on this table and whoever wants them can help themselves after I walk out of the room." Alexander informed his employees the white ovals in question held in his right hand.

Several mouthfuls of hastily shoveled food promptly fell from slack jaws (or in a few more extreme examples were spat out) as men looked up from the large lunch Alexander's servants had prepared.

The silver haired man shrugged and deposited the hard-boiled egg on the table.

"Speaking of changes regarding how I run this business, there's another major detail I want your help with. If any of you come down with an illness, either you or one of your fellow omegas needs to make me aware of it as soon as possible." Alexander insisted.

"So you can fire them before they can get a chance to the infect others?" A worker hesitantly suggested.

"What? No, so I can have you magically healed!" Alexander spluttered, the depths of these people's cynicism surprising even him.

"How much will that end up costing us?" Another worker asked giving his employer a very suspicious side eye.

"Ten copper. That said, the woman who will be healing you can also use magic to tell if you're actually sick or not. We will be taking notes, and if anyone spends too much time faking illness, or keeps coming down with the same one over and over again, questions may be asked and steps may be taken." Alexander clarified.

Ironically this particular half threat half promise seemed to reassure the workers much more than any of Alexander's more benevolent offerings.

"Does that apply to our families also? I mean if a man catches ill from his wife he's just as sick as if he got it some other way..." Yet another worker suggested timidly.

"Florence, I think you've got your first patient." The silver haired man suggested.

XXX XXX XXX

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Alrek asked Alexander as the workers were starting to head off to the mine.

"What makes you think I don't?" He replied calmly.

There was a look in the dwarf's eyes which strongly suggested that "everything" was the answer he wanted to give.

"You do realize that you're running a business? The point of business is to make money not to make friends..." He pointed out bluntly.

Alexander would have taken Mr. Deep-Minded by the shoulder, but the sheer difference in height between the two made that utterly impractical.

So instead, Alexander abruptly got down on his knees and looked his employee directly in the eye.

"I've got a story that I'd like to tell you." He explained.

"Does it involve wolves?" The dour dwarf abruptly suspected.

"Contrary to popular opinion, my career as an adventurer has given me more tools to work with than just wolf related parables. There's also murder, delegation, and a few additional tales that I keep in my back pocket just in case.

Speaking of delegation, I'd like you to come with me." Alexander 'suggested'.

It wasn't especially hard to lead a dwarf along, at least if you were able to find something to get a grip on. So lead him on Alexander did, and pair entered into a small side room where someone was waiting for them.

"Mr. Deep-Minded, this is Devi Skye. Do you know what she specializes in?" He asked casually.

The dwarf took one look at at the elf and then gave what was to him the obvious answer.

"Trees?" He suggested.

"No, that's Florence's job. I do numbers." She explained.

Alexander reassuringly draped a hand across Devi's shoulders.

"That's right. I can count from one to 'pack' and that will be enough to get you by in the adventuring business, for the most part. There are some exceptions though, and that's where Devi come in.

Now then, as for that story I promised you... it involves two seeds, and yes I'm perfectly well aware that seeds are probably no more plentiful in Nosos than wolves are.

These two seeds are both planted a few hundred feet apart from one another, both of them given plenty of sunlight, plenty of water, and both of them began to grow. After a year of growth one of the seeds began to openly mock the other 'look how small and spindly you are next to me!' It boasted. The other seed however just smirked back and said nothing. That Mr. Deep-Minded is the story of the berry bush and the oak. The moral is that great growth takes it time." Alexander concluded.

"Time isn't what I'm worried about, its about money. You're tossing money around like it hurts you to be financially secure!" The dwarf grumbled.

Alexander flashed him a smile and leaned across to desk that Devi was seated at.

"Do you know how you build a mine?" Alexander replied with a look of utter serenity on his face.

"You're bloody well right I do, you have to..." The dwarf began to answer.

He didn't get any further along before Devi cut him off.

"You build a mine by tossing money around like it hurts you to be financially secure. You have to spend a vast amount of money if you want to build a mine.

Shocking as it may sound, the principle that you have to spend money to make money, a lot of money, can apply to labor as well as capital." Devi explained with utmost certainty.

"Devi, how long does the average adventurer live for?" Alexander asked in a dreamy far away voice.

"Hard to say, people tend not to keep perfect records of their desire to become an adventurer. More to the point, they often die in ways that are hard to verify. Still, if I had to guess, less than six months." She answered.

"How long have we been adventuring for?" He spoke in the nonchalant tone of one who already knows the answer.

"Years." Devi replied in an equally bored tone of voice.

"Know why that is?" Alexander inquired.

"Cheating and experience." The elf-lady replied.

"It is pretty hard to cheat a cave in, but Mr. Deep-Minded I'd be willing to bet that experience is still quite useful. To get experience though, you need to not die." Alexander explained.

"Not technically correct, but lets not quibble until we find some undead who are willing to work the mine." Devi pointed out since Mirri wasn't on hand.

"In short, I'm very in favor of my employees not dying, Devi would you care to explain why?" Alexander half commanded.

"I've looked over all the books that Edward Resten kept on the history and productivity of his mine. People may lie, but numbers don't, not unless people want them to, and I have little reason to suspect he would want to lie about this.

I've used his numbers to make some numbers of my own, numbers about how long the average employee works in our mine, numbers about how productive a worker who is fresh to the job and one who has been with us for a while.

Numbers about how much each and every cave in has ended up setting us back. Numbers based on whatever information could be gathered about those cave ins, and how many of them were really caused by 'bad luck' and how many happened because of some recently hired worker doing something that no veteran would even dream about.

Numbers about how and why people often tend to stop working in the mine just as they're really starting to get experience. I've looked at all these numbers and I came to one chief conclusion, the current surplus of raw untrained 'talent' available in Nosos was leading Mr. Resten to take short sighted measures when it came to his employees.

If you do that with building materials sooner or later the ceiling, walls, and or floor collapse. Doing it with people won't work any better in the long run. Would you like to see the numbers that lead me to this conclusion?" Devi offered the dwarf.

Granted, she made that particular 'offer' in much the same way that a spider would 'offer' a fly the chance to more fully inspect its web. Elves lived for a very long time, many of them spent that time studying trees, Devi did it studying paper.

"I'll take you at your word, but reducing hours is going to eat into our profits..." Alrek warned.

"In the short run, quite possibly. On the other hand, there are limits to human endurance and it is very dark down in that mine. Devi are we currently employing people to stand over the shoulder of our miners and make sure they're actually working their entire shift?" Alexander 'asked' 'innocently' to his blue haired companion.

"Not as such. Especially because sooner or later we'd need to hire people to watch the watchers, and possibly people to watch them as well, and then before long we'd end up employing everyone in Nosos with a functioning pair of eyes." She answered briskly.

"There are limits to human endurance, being an adventurer you learn these things about just how long a person can fight for before exhaustion sets in and you start making mistakes. When an adventurer makes mistakes it can get them and everyone who depends on them killed, not terribly different from when a miner makes mistakes I believe.

So Alrek we're going to try a few experiments. Based on the information my companions have been gathering, work hours in Nosos seem to have been determined by being the largest number the employer can get the employee to agree to.

I'm more interested in finding out what is the number of hours the employee can work day after day without doing long term harm to their body or mind. Profits may dip for a bit, but like I said in my speech, my goal is the long hunt. Speaking of which, an idea just struck me that might considerably cut down on the number of these talks we're having..." Alexander declared cheerfully.

"Firing me?" The dwarf expected.

"I was actually thinking about giving you a year's pay in advance. I'll be expecting a fair portion of it back if you quit or actually do something that earns my ire enough to fire you of course. Still, I figured that it might be a good of way of proving that I don't intend to go broke any time soon, and if I do, well you won't be any worse off will you?" Alexander suggested evenly.

"You make a convincing argument." Alrek Deep-Minded admitted.

End Chapter.

AN: Alex oversells wolves and loyalty or at least over anthropomorphizing both them and the caribou. After all, it's not like if one wolf breaks a leg the others are going to put it in a splint and bring them food until it heals. However, given that neither of the animals he was talking about are native to Nosos, it is not likely that anyone is going to quibble with him.

Also I am entirely aware of the unfortunate implications of another large group that wore armbands as a method of identification. That said, there's no way that any of the characters in the story would be aware of that group and after thinking this over armbands really were the only reasonable/most logical way to go. Given that even the group doesn't have unlimited money to spend full on uniforms were out of the question, cards/name tags aren't obvious enough, but armbands are just right, they can still be taken off and hidden from others fairly easily, but at the same time are also reasonably obvious if you are wearing one. In short, armbands are a good way of creating a visual sense of community/unity which is why Alex is using them.

Oh, if you are experiencing an adverse reaction to "eleven hour work days" congrats that is the proper reaction, however keep in mind that adventuring is technically a 24/7 profession, and so he doesn't really have a proper frame of reference to work from, he just took the current number of hours his employees were working and subtracted one from it.

Finally the symbol/flag of Amalgamated Diamonds might sound familiar to some of you, if you think you know what it is, you're probably right. If you don't I'll admit what it is in the comments for the story as a whole.


	6. Chapter 6

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Six: Come grab your mates and join us, where the rats rejoice!

"Let me see the chart." Alexander insisted.

"You know someone as big as you has no right being so quiet." Alrek muttered as from his point of view Alexander might as well have been under an invisibility spell up until he'd spoke.

"Sorry my neck region is already cluttered enough with this tie, so I don't have room for a bell." Alexander noted in an offhand manner as he inspected the chart keeping track of who had shown up for work today and who hadn't.

There were a great many check marks and his eye lazily scrolled down the list, until it stopped at a singular ugly "X" symbol.

"Benjamin Taylor didn't show up for work today." Alexander growled handing the chart back.

Mr. Deep-Minded double checked it himself and then slowly nodded.

"That's right." He admitted.

"Did he tell you, or did anyone else tell you he was quitting?" The silver haired man inquired.

The dwarf shook his head.

"Anyone know if he was sick?" Alexander further pressed.

"Nobody told me anything about it, and I'd vastly prefer it if you don't go crawling around the mine asking every single one of your 'omegas' to try and find out. It'd be nice to have a simple proper work day with no distractions." The manager pleaded.

"You're right that would be an inefficient approach. Do we know where he lives?" Alexander suggested.

"Do I look like his mother? Probably somewhere on the west side of town, that's where most of the workers live." Alrek Deep-Minded replied.

"Well then I guess I'm going for a stroll..." Alexander decided.

XXX XXX XXX

"You're walking through the wrong part of town rich boy..." A gruff voice called out to Alexander from a nearby alley.

"Yeah, fancy pants 'gentlemen' like you normally are smart enough to bring a few bodyguards with them!" A voice cackled from behind him.

"We should be careful blokes he's got himself a sword..." Another voice mockingly noted.

Alexander Diamondclaw sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Thank you." He said, calmly looking around and making note of the various different directions he might be attacked from in the near future.

"No need to thank us yet 'mi-lord', save that for after we've made your purse a great deal lighter." The first voice promised him.

"No I think I'll do it now, while you can still hear me. You'll have a hard time doing that once the screaming starts.

So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. Some of my subordinates become much much more testy when they're forced to go without entrainment. I'd wager you lot should be able to keep my companion amused for all of... well I'll guess thirty seconds or so." Alexander predicted as wisps of white mist began to curl around his boots.

XXX XXX XXX

There was a lot of screaming.

"Leave them alive." Alexander Diamondclaw insisted as he stood there with his arms crossed, as yet having had no need to straighten them.

A fully grown man was tossed through the air like a child's doll and slammed into a wall.

"Did you miss the part where I said I want them alive?" Alexander repeated his command for emphasis.

"He'll live. His spine might even still be intact... Any particular reason you care?" Mirri Catwarrior hissed back.

"It will save us time in the long run." Alexander pointed out, watching the "fight" (if you could call it that) with something verging on boredom.

One of the muggers began pitifully waving his sword about in Mirri's general direction.

The white clad woman stepped into his attack, the blade burying itself up to the hilt in her stomach. Then she wrapped a single hand around his throat and lifted him into the air.

"Was that supposed to hurt?" She asked in a sing song mocking voice.

The would be thief was much too frightened to say anything.

"Toss him with the other, gently." Alexander commanded.

The man went flying, slammed into the wall and collapsed on top of the other one pinning both in place.

Another one of the thieves who had taken up position on a nearby rooftop was desperately trying to reload his musket after his first shot had ended going wide when he drastically underestimated how fast a centuries old vampire could move.

He was still underestimating her speed in fact, after taking a moment to pull the sword out of her chest and toss it away, Mirri shot up the side of the building without even bothering to check for handholds, and yanked the gun out of his hands.

Wood and metal alike twisted and broke beneath her crushing grip.

Then she seized the unlucky thief by his collar and lifted him off the ground as well. It was cliche, but for some reason Mirri never quite got tired of the sight of a grown man helplessly flailing his legs about.

"Can I put him with the others?" Mirri pleaded.

"He won't survive if you do it from up there. Come down first." Alexander suggested.

Mirri jumped back down to street level and tossed yet another of her victims against more or less the exact same portion of the wall as her previous prey.

"You're slipping, one of them got away..." Alexander pointed out, gesturing in the direction that he'd seen the final bandit beat a hasty retreat after Mirri had pull herself together out of a seemingly ordinary (except for how "clean" it was for Nosos) cloud of mist.

 _"_ _It's only fun if they run!_ " Mirri growled as she got down on all fours.

XXX XXX XXX

A short while later the brigand rejoined his fellows and Alexander. He clearly did not want to, but he equally clearly did not have a choice in the matter.

When a fully grown lioness grabs a man's neck in her jaws and starts dragging them around fighting back isn't much an option. It especially isn't when the lioness has used her paws to buffet the man into state of near unconsciousness first.

Three groaning thieves lay in a pile on the ground, Alexander lazily resting his cane on the top most's stomach to keep them all pinned in place.

"Ahh, full marks." He congratulated the cat, lifting up his cane and taking a step back.

The lioness rose up onto its hind legs and transformed swiftly into Mirri Catwarrior, teeth still buried in her captive's neck. Once more in possession of proper hands she slammed the man against the wall to finish knocking him out cold and stood back to watch him collapse on top of his companions adding a fourth body to the pile.

"Now that we've got that out of the way gentlemen, I'd like to have a polite conversation with you. I should note however, that it is impossible to have a polite conversation if the other party is busy screaming, pleading, crying, or otherwise whimpering. If we can't have a polite conversation then I may have to let my somewhat impolite companion carry you off to the nearest prison to pay for your crimes." Alexander explained, keeping his voice dry and emotionless.

The general collection of horrified sounds slowly began to die off.

"That's better, now then, can you lot see this?" Alexander asked, taking a moment to get down on his knees and wave the silver armband he wore in their faces.

There was a trio of frantic nods from the thieves who were still conscious.

"Good. It represents my pack. After today if I discover any of you have ever inconvenienced anyone wearing one of these armbands... well I'll be quite cross with you. You gentleman wouldn't want to make me cross now would you?" Alexander asked with a faraway bored look in his eye.

Now there was a lot of head shaking.

"I'm glad we understand each other. I mean, I'm not especially surprised to discover people turning to thievery in a situation like Nosos' but my compassion for your suffering terminates at the point when you try to impose any form of suffering on my pack. At that point..." Before Alexander could continue Mirri cut in.

"We make you do the suffering." She concluded, kicking a section of the cobblestone street up into her waiting hands. It was swiftly crushed and its remains sprinkled over the prone bandits for effect.

"Quite. By the way are any of the three of you familiar with a man by the name of Benjamin Taylor?" Alexander couldn't help but ask.

Still more head shaking.

"Pity. I had hopes that 'men of the street' such as you might know a thing or two about who lives where among your fellow renters. I don't suppose you could tell me where I might be able to find a few more of your companions, or even those thieves you aren't especially fond of?" There was a lot more nodding now.

"Splendid. Mirri make sure they're telling the truth. By the way gentlemen, when your wounds heal, do consider seeking a more lawful lifestyle. Amalgamated Diamonds is most likely down one worker at the very least." Alexander pointed out.

XXX XXX XXX

The Nosos School of Human Studies looked like no one had taught classes inside it for years, primarily because no one had.

Its door was already sagging on its hinges when Alexander first laid eyes upon it.

It took exactly one good solid kick from him to transform it into a pile of splinters.

"Hello my good gentlemen, sorry about your door, don't worry I can afford to buy you a new one." Alexander proclaimed in a booming voice, doing his best impression of Edward Resten as he ducked slightly to enter into the decrepit and semi-deserted house of learning.

A number of unfriendly eyes gazed out at him.

XXX XXX XXX

A number of frightened eyes gazed down at the monster that had been Alexander Diamondclaw.

"What are you?" One of the thieves cried out in horror.

Alexander paced back and forth before them. He'd made sure to remove his top hat before getting down to business and once he was done fighting he'd put it back on.

"Upset." He answered.

He'd made sure to bring Devi's bag of holding along with him, and sure enough of her nearly endless supply of rope had proved useful. There was nothing quite like being knocked unconscious and waking up with your hands bound while hanging suspended from the ceiling to make it abundantly clear to a man he was no longer the master of their own destiny.

Alexander held out a silver armband in his left 'hand', his right eye flashing dangerously.

"Which one of you is responsible for this?" He demanded.

After they'd dealt with the initial fight Alexander and Mirri had searched the unconscious bodies, along with a little money and a few other unremarkable nick knacks they'd also discovered a silver armband with "Benjamin Taylor, Omega" written on it.

The discovery of that armband had not done wonders for Alexander's mood to say the least.

The collection of thieves began to sway back and forth likes leaves in the wind, each one determined to say as much (and thus blame the others) as they possibly could.

"Which one of you killed him? Whoever speaks first, I'll take that as a confession." He warned them, figuring this would at least cut down on the horrified babbling.

Sure enough, now only one of them was willing to speak up.

"None of us, none of us killed him. I found it... but he was already dead when I did!" A blond haired man pleaded.

"Can you prove it?" Alexander demanded to know.

"Yes, yes!" The man promised with a frantic light in his green eyes.

"Well this should be interesting. Mirri lets let this one down. The rest of you just... hang around for a while." Alexander decided.

XXX XXX XXX

After readjusting his eyepatch and "freeing" the thief, he lead them deeper in the Nosos School of Human Studies.

Alexander insisted that their "guide" lead the way, and had made it abundantly clear that if he failed to trigger any traps that later harmed Alexander or Mirri, he would not enjoy the result.

Eventually the thief took them into a room where a dead body lay wrapped in a rather threadbare blanket.

"He wasn't the first to do this, we tend to get renters trying to save money by sleeping down here every so often. Most of them are too poor to even be worth robbing and too many corpses might eventually draw attention, so for the most part we leave them alone. This one was stinking so badly though that someone had to investigate, that's how I found the armband. It was clean and unlike the rest of his outfit wasn't threadbare so I took it.." He explained.

Alexander carefully tossed aside the blanket and began to inspect the body.

A quick once over proved that the thief was probably telling the truth surprisingly enough. There was no obvious signs of wounds caused by knives, daggers, clubs, a garrote wire, or any other sort of human weapon.

There were gashes in his skin though, most likely caused by some kind of animal bite.

Alexander held out his fingers using them to measure the size of the bite, and considered their general shape.

"Whatever did this, its most prominent weapons were its incisor teeth. Judging from the fact that human skin tends not to turn purple without a very good reason, I'd also guess whatever it was, its bite must have transmitted some sort of disease or poison." Alexander reflected.

"It must have been the Roi des rats." Their unwilling companion suggested.

"The what?" Alexander shot back.

"The Roi des rats... it is the biggest, ugliest, meanest, filthiest rat in all of Nosos. People say that the other rats follow its orders and it's so vile that a single bite or scratch can spell a man's doom." He explained.

"I can understand that, but why is it called Roi des rats? I thought Balok was the official language of Nosos." Alexander pointed out.

"That... that's what it calls itself in the messages it sometimes leaves behind." The bandit muttered inching away from the corpse.

He probably would have inched his way completely out of the room if it weren't for the fact that Mirri had positioned herself about a foot or so directly behind him.

"He leaves messages?" Alexander was intrigued.

"Weird stuff, usually scrawled on the walls in filth of some sort of another. Messages about how an exterminator's work is never done and vermin need to leave his friends alone." He told Alexander.

The silver haired man pondered that for a moment, then he came to the obvious conclusion.

"Mirri we're heading back home. I'm not the best man for this job, but I know exactly who is." Alexander decided.

XXX XXX XXX

Alexander Diamondclaw sat behind a desk as his two subordinate entered into the room. James Firecat threw in a quick left handed salute, but Mirri simply entered into something that might paradoxically be called "slouching at attention" for the moment.

"One of our workers was killed last night." Alexander said as he gazed down at his desk.

In the time it had taken Mirri to locate James and return with him (Chateau Argent might not be the largest mansion in Nosos, but it was still a mansion) he'd set up a little game for himself. A fair portion of his desk was occupied by a large board which was host to a number of differently colored and in some cases differently shaped stones.

"How can we help?" James wanted to know at once.

"He was staying in the abandoned Nosos School of Human Studies, and I'm still not completely sure what killed him. Supposedly he was murdered by some local legend. It calls itself 'Roi des rats' if our 'guide' was correct." Alexander explained as he abruptly spun the board around and moved a different stone.

"King of rats?" James repeated the phrase translating it from his native Mordentish into the Balok that was favored in Nosos.

Alexander simply nodded before focusing his eyes on the board before him.

"This is an interesting little war game, much in favor among the well to do of Nosos. I want to make sure I fully understand the rules before I try to play against anyone else, let alone think about having my own set made. Do you know what its name is?" He asked, his green eye quickly flickering between the board, James, Mirri, and back to the board again.

"No." James replied bluntly.

"They call it, 'regicide' Omega. Any further questions?" Alexander answered.

"Yes, I still don't..." James began, but before he could make his confusion any more evident Mirri leaned over and whispered a few words to him.

A more complete transformation was hard to imagine without the aid of magic (or at least magical disease). One moment James was completely adrift in the conversation uncertain of what was going on. The next his entire body became like a coiled spring, or say better a taut string. Especially the taunt string of a crossbow, which heralds unpleasant tidings for the one it is aimed at.

"No further questions Alpha." James declared proudly with another salute, his expression every bit as predatory as Alexander's.

XXX XXX XXX

"I have a request." Alexander Diamondclaw announced.

A great many worried faces abruptly turned Alexander's way, as the workers who had been wearily tramping out of the mine only a few moments ago now stood ominously still.

"First let me make this abundantly clear, when I say request, I mean request. If I can't find anyone who is willing to do it, that's fine, you don't have to worry about reprisals. Still I'd like to find someone willing to spend a night in the Nosos School for Human Studies. The hows and whys don't really matter, but I will be rewarding them with a week's wages." He explained.

The work force of Amalgamated Diamonds was remarkably unresponsive.

"A months' wages then, and don't think I'll go any higher than that, I do know how to solve problems without throwing money at them." Alexander warned them.

"Money isn't any good to a dead man, I've heard about that place, if the muggers don't get you the monsters will." One worker noted dourly.

"The local bandits have been cleared out, you can trust me on that." Alexander informed them.

There was a lot more rumbling, grumbling, and then a man stepped forward. He had black hair, blue eyes, and the tired look that accompanied anyone who'd just worked a long shift in the mines.

"You're sure it's safe then?" He asked Alexander.

"As safe as I can possibly make it, and I can make places pretty safe." Alexander promised.

"Money can be of use to a dead man, sometimes. Me and my wife already have a boy and girl and she's got another on the way. If something happens to me, I want you to look after them. Treat em posh like, better than I could ever could." He explained with a strange sort of defeated determination.

"That can be arranged." Alexander promised.

"Well arrange for us to get it down in writing before I go there." He insisted.

"No problem..." Alexander paused a moment and twisted his head to the side slightly getting a good look at the man's silver armband.

It read "Mark Shepard, Omega."

"Mark." Alexander concluded.

XXX XXX XXX

Devi took care of drawing up the necessary contract for how Alexander would be responsible for looking after Mark's family if anything happened to him while he preformed this particular task.

In return, the only additional condition that Alexander added was for the black haired man to keep his armband on the entire night.

Alexander walked Mark to the deserted school and sure enough there was a distinct lack of any obvious lawbreakers about. They parted ways and a very tired Mark Shepard settled down to try and get some sleep.

XXX XXX XXX

He got perhaps two hours at most before he was woken up.

It was a strange sound that did it, a sort of "scritch scritch" sound, as if made by an animal's claws on the ground, but one too big and yet too light on its feet at the same time.

Then came the voice.

"Qu'est-ce que nous avons ici des amis?" Someone or something growled.

Mark was fairly certain that it was a voice, a human voice, or something close to human at least.

That said, it was speaking a language that he couldn't make head or tails out of.

"Vous dites que quelqu'un a envahi votre maison?" The voice grumbled.

Then he heard a squeaking sound and a veritable torrent of "scritch scritch" noises.

"Vermine Méchant garder envahir les amis de votre maison, il est pas juste! Ne vous inquiétez pas si je sais que la façon de traiter avec eux, je vais les exterminer tous un jour!" The voice cackled, its tone growing more malevolent even if the words remained gibberish.

In the darkness Mark was just barely able to make out a pair of golden eyes as a rat scurried into the room to glare at him.

Then came the other rats.

Two rats, three rats, four rats, five rats, six rats... he lost count as the numbers swiftly spiraled upwards of a dozen. They one and all fixed him with the exact same baleful stare and Mark slowly rose to his feet, unsure what he should do.

"Ne vous inquiétez pas amis, je vais exterminer cette vermine, alors vous aurez cette maison à vous exactement comme vous l'aimez! Il est ce qu'il mérite pour envahir et salir la maison de mes amis! Il est comme tous les autres ravageurs. Je dois juste le poison de traiter avec lui!" That same haunting voice announced.

Then Mark saw him, the Roi des rats.

He was a horrific monster, he was a rat, but one bigger then most men. His front paws were misshapen and twisted to resemble human hands, and a horrific insane intelligence glistened in his blue eyes. Fur grew in awkward patches across its body, but if it was ill it moved with a terrible sureness.

The Roi des rats rose up onto its hind legs, its filth caked claws glistening in the light of the lamp that Mark had made sure to hang before he went to bed.

"Le temps de vous mourir sale vermine laid!" The Roi de rats hissed.

"Alexander Diamondclaw, what have you gotten me into...?" Mark whimpered expecting those to be the last words he ever spoke.

"Je suis la terreur qui rôde dans la nuit!" Another voice called out.

Both Mark and the Roi de rats turned to look in surprise. Mark had no idea what it was saying, and yet somehow he was fairly certain it was the same "language" as the Roi de rats used.

In a corner of the room that neither he nor the monster had previously paid any attention to there was now a great swirling cloud of mist seeping in from some unknown source.

"Je suis la barre de métal I qui garde le fromage!" The other voice intoned in an almost solemn manner.

It didn't sound human either, but it sounded at least slightly more so than the oversized rat.

"Je suis Longhair de la Dame!" The second voice shouted.

The cloud of smoke parted finally revealing who (say better what) was speaking.

It was a monster every bit as fearsome as the Roi des rats, an oversized crimson cat. It wore no clothing, save for a silver armband upon its left arm. It held out that arm in the direction of the rat monster and then there was an almost gentle sound, like the pearling of tiny exquisitely crafted bells as half a score of claws slide into sight.

Unlike those belonging to the Roi de rats they were completely clean, and if anything looked all the deadlier for the meticulous care their owner had obviously shown them.

"Non ... pas que quoi que ce soit ... mais ..."

Mark still could not understand the language, but he didn't need to. The Roi de rats communicated its on a fear an instinctual, primal level.

Scant moments ago it had been advancing confidently, now its body became hunched and compact as it sought to become as small as any of its rodent followers.

"SAVIEZ-VOUS TUER EUX?" Hissed the red cat creature as it stalked forward on only two legs a long tail swaying behind it.

"Alors ... tant de cadavres ... tant de petits cadavres! Allez-vous, je ne veux pas en parler ... Je suis en train d'être mieux, je vais essayer!" The Roi de rats whimpered.

"Je prends ça comme un 'oui' alors. Si cela est la façon dont vous 'essayer' alors le monde est mieux sans toi." The crimson cat hissed.

That was all its foe could take. The Roi de rats turned and fled.

The crimson cat gave chase.

The other smaller rats remained, but they milled about in confusion unsure of what to do. Mark began to inch away from them slowly but surely, up until one of them was abruptly crushed into a gooey mass by the paw of a tawny furred lioness.

"What?" Mathew gasped in utter and complete confusion, the beast had seemingly come into being from out of the same cloud of white mist that had so perfectly concealed the crimson cat until its arrival.

He waited for the horrific moment when the lioness would turn its attention on him, but for the moment it seemed contest to deal with the rats.

The rats began to flee from the lioness, until suddenly they stopped, seeming to be just as paralyzed by the strange sight of it as Mark was. White mist swirled and the lioness vanished.

In its place was a woman dressed in white and black, who was wearing a silver armband. Mark's eyes weren't good enough to read her name but he could recognize the silver armband for a certainty.

The woman placed her hands before her lips as if playing an invisible instrument, and began to beat out a tune on the floor as she started to sing.

"One, two, one, two, three, four! Come on all you good rats, we'll send you to rat heaven, you'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam!" She danced out of the room as she sung, and the rats began to follow her.

As she and the rats vanished from sight Mark Sheppard could only wonder, was he even really awake, or was this all some sort of strange dream?

XXX XXXX XXX

Henri DuCamp was trying.

He had always tried to be the best he could, the best son, the best exterminator, the best ruler.

He wasn't trying hard enough at the moment.

His ears could the sound growing closer with every passing moment pitter patter, pitter patter, soft velvet paws and hard shinning claws!

Why was Jacqueline Renier so upset with him?

He'd promised her that he'd never again take the lives of her servants ever since his great mistake! He'd lived up to that promise to the best of his abilities doing everything in his power to make life in this land pleasant for her subjects!

His best was not good enough for Jacqueline Renier though... not even close.

Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter!

How could such a soft sound assault his ears so loudly?

He ran, and he ran and her ran. Malformed half hands scrabbled against the ground as his mind rushed through every possible trick and hiding place he could think of, hoping to shake his pursuer.

Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter!

Not that it was doing him any good though, he could hear the sound growing louder with every passing moment. What... what did she want from him? It wasn't fair... it wasn't fair that he should have this happen to him!

Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter...

This was wrong, this was wrong, Henri had spent how long in these various tunnels? He should know them like the back of his hand, and yet suddenly he was having trouble remembering which one lead where.

It was getting hard to remember, it was getting hard to think! All he could be sure of was that his pursuer was right behind him.

Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter!

Tunnels once familiar to him had been rendered terra incognito by sheer terror. Before he knew it Henri DuCamp took a wrong turn, and found himself in a cul-de-sac.

With a soft deadly "pitter patter" the bloody daemon came upon him as Henri pressed his back against the wall as firmly as it would go.

"Tell Lady Jacqueline I'm sorry..." Henri sobbed tear streaming from his eyes.

"You should be sorry. How many Richemuloise did you kill before you came here? You haven't learned anything though, not yet. La Grande Dame, told me it is my purpose in life to deal with those like you, and I won't disappoint her." The daemon vowed.

Still with tears in his eyes, Henri charged toward the beast rather than wait and let death come to him.

He moved fast, but the bloody daemon was faster, there was a stabbing pain in his side, and then it felt like his blood itself was on fire!

XXX XXX XXX

"La Grande Dame, told me it is my purpose in life to deal with those like you, and I won't disappoint her." James Firecat vowed, his mind momentarily flickering back to the oath he had sworn to Jacqueline Renier.

He was thus somewhat distracted when the Roi des rats charged at him.

Unfortunately for the rodent ruler in question, all that meant was James Firecat reacted purely on instinct, and his instinct had no pity for vermin, keekees or otherwise.

The Roi de rats fell to the ground, ten bright red marks crisscrossing its belly where James's claws had slashed its stomach.

He planted a foot on the monster's back pinning him in place.

"Your charmed life is over, your majesty!" James promised the wererat, determined to see the lycanthrope hung, or however it was they executed criminals in Nosos.

He ended up being more right than he expected though, before his very eyes its skin turn purple, fur began to fall out in clumps, ugly welts grew into being and the wererat began to convulse wildly, before his body went terribly still.

Then it began to change shape, one final time.

Eventually the only thing that shared the room with James Firecat was a filth encrusted fowl smelling human corpse, seemingly struck down more by some strange poison than any physical harm.

James paused for a moment and examined his claws in confusion.

"Have you guys always been able to do that?" He couldn't help but ask, though unsurprisingly the digits in question refrained from answering.

Either way, it was clear enough that the people of Nosos would now have one fewer thing to worry about.

XXX XXX XXX

A great many of Mark's fellow workers were surprised enough to see him alive the next day that they openly congratulated him on the fact. He worked through his shift in a half daze, as if he couldn't quite believe that he was still alive either.

By the time his hours were up however he'd come to a conclusion, and luckily enough the man he wanted to speak to was waiting around outside the mine.

"Seeing how I've already put my head on the chopping block for you once Mr. Diamondclaw, I figure I might as well do it again. If you still need someone to run your union... I'll be your man." Promised Mark Shepard.

Alexander embraced him in an almost bone crushing hug, before reaching down to remove his employee's silver armband.

"I'll have Devi get you a new one of these... one that says 'Mark Shepard: Beta." He promised.

End Chapter.

AN: You get what you pay for. If I had time to properly think all these things over/edit them, put a few down on paper before I had to post them/show them to you folks, I probably would have started James doing the Darkwing Duck thing back in the first book. As it stands, I've thought of it, I like it, it will show up from time to time, try and enjoy it. Same goes to how in the first book I mentioned that James' claws couldn't retract in hybrid form, whereas they clearly are in this one, though I'm chalking that up to a side effect of James having such great control of his morphology he can take a hybrid form with set claws or retractable ones.

Next up, "Regicide" is what they call Chess in Warhammer 40K and it probably goes by that name in a few other settings (including my version of Nosos) because it's a reasonable enough name for the game. If you don't know what the word means (much like James) then here's your vocabulary word for the day, "regicide"=the killing of a king.

The song that Mirri sings is a few lines from "Good Rats" by Dropkick Murphy. It's a song about a bunch of rats gathering together to drown themselves. You get no points for guessing what she's going to be doing with those rats now that she's used her control of animal powers over them.

A lot of the conversation between James and the Roi des rats takes place in their shared native language of Low Mordentish (French) google translate will be your friend to get at least a rough understanding of what is going on.

Henri DuCamp/The Roi des rats is a fannon character who I did not create, however once I read his backstory/information I instantly knew that he'd fit perfectly into this story.

He was born in Richemulot to a family with a long history of being "exterminators" which in Richemulot actually means you work with the rats/wererats to make it look like a bunch of rats got poisoned/killed, followed by the rats temporarily cutting down on whatever they were doing, so that they can then come back in full force once the heat has died down. Thus, it looks like someone is doing something about the ever present rat problem, even if nothing is actually being accomplished.

Alas, his father never really got around to telling him that part of the process before he (Henri's father) died. Henri meanwhile spent a fair amount of time studying abroad in Borca, mastering the art of how to exterminate vermin with various poisons. He was quite successful, up until he got hired by a wealthy merchant from Richemulot to do a job that actually took place inside his home domain.

He succeeded at the job, but if you kill off rats wholesale in Richemulot, Jacqueline Renier is A: going to notice, and B: not be amused.

Before long Henri was captured by wererats and brought to Jacqueline who was of course determined to make him pay for "murdering" so many of "her subjects" as you might expect.

In this case, it involved having Henri's body infected with wererat blood, and then a few choice poisons of her own (Jacqueline has always had at least a passing interest in poisons/diseases, since she dreams of one day creating a disease which will cause the bites of otherwise ordinary rats to make their victims into infected wererats) for good measure.

This was not a pleasant experience for Henri to say the least.

He survived and even escaped, but it drove him crazy, since while in hybrid form he is much smarter than a infected wererat should be (int 2, pure animal instinct basically, maybe he's taken enough levels in Moonchild to keep his human mind when he transforms, it is just that his "human mind" thinks he's a rat) he now sees life entirely from a rat's point of view. Thus, he believes that it is humans who are the vermin infesting the rats' homes and need to be exterminated. If that wasn't bad enough, his body happens to now spontaneously generates various poisons to help him.

Alas, as I've mentioned before, context matters, context really matters in the conversation between James and Henri. If Henri had been more sane, he might have been able to properly articulate some pretty important information about how Jacqueline Renier.

As it stands, Henri is remorseful about the rats that he poisoned back in Richemulot, but in the context James frames their conversation, James only sees this as Henri being insincerely sorry for the humans he killed, because he's still killing humans ever chance he gets.

Also, if you found it strange that their confrontation dissolved into a slasher movie rather than actual fight, I will explain.

Henri has a horrible phobia of cats, to the point that as written he's not even supposed to get a will save to avoid running away from them.

It is the meta-narrative curse of every Ravenloft villain to have an interesting and compelling backstory that the PCs will completely ignore in favor or killing them as soon as they can do so without risking a Dark Power Check. By toning his fear down slightly, Henri can at least articulate enough of his backstory that James thought he knew what was going on.

Also as written Henri has an extremely adverse reaction to cat's blood, if he's struck by a weapon that harms him (IE beats his lycanthropic DR) and has been coated with cat's blood, he has to make a fortitude save to avoid falling ill with a fever so bad he'll be confined to bed-rest for a while.

It does not directly say what happens if he's actually harmed by a cat though.

I decided for the ease of moving the story along (we'll explore the "justice" system of Nosos soon enough) that damage from a cat/werecat makes him forced to preform a fortitude save, or have the various poisons bouncing around his body go out of control and kill him.

So yeah this was never going to be much of a fight.

Much like why I will never write a story based around "The Created" because Florence with her ability to transform into a plant that is immune to paralysis effects and then spontaneously cast the warp wood spell over and over, and over again which is pretty much the silver bullet of choice against an army animated toys who as you might guess, are made entirely out of wood.

So instead, I told very little of this from James' perspective and instead pointed out the fact that yeah our "heroes" can be just as horrifying as some of the villains' they face.

James doesn't need to have the spirit of some sort of demi-god, or who knows what, bouncing around inside his head for him to strike fear into his foes, and he will fight wererats with a deadly seriousness. After all, like he said, Jacqueline Renier told him his destiny was to kill wererats for her, and James is nothing if not loyal to La Grande Dame.


	7. Chapter 7

Monster Party Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Seven: There's something in your way, and now someone is gonna pay, and if you cant get what you want, well, its all because of me!

"Let me see the chart." Alexander insisted.

"I was wondering when you'd show up..." Reflected Alrek Deep-Minded to his employer as he handed over the chart.

Alexander's eye slowly worked its way down the list, check-mark, check-mark, check-mark, check mark...

"You know I've seen mother hens who fuss less over their chicks than you do over those charts." The dwarf pointed out.

Alexander momentarily tore his eye away from the paper.

"Have you really? Nosos doesn't seem much like farming country." He pointed out.

"I was trying out my skill with natural metaphors, since you seen so bloody fond of them." The dwarf admitted.

Alexander renewed his inspection, and was relieved to see that today every single name had a check-mark next to it, not a single employee was unaccounted for.

"It's a start." The silver haired man reflected before handing the chart back to the dwarf and striding off.

XXX XXX XXX

"Okay, short of going down there and swinging a pickaxe myself there nothing I can do to help the mine at the moment. So it is finally time to focus on the bigger picture, Mirri what have you managed to find out while I've been busy?" Alexander inquired after having returned to Chateau Argent.

"Glad you finally had time to ask, this is some of the best work that I've ever done that doesn't involve killing people." The vampiress boasted proudly as she walked over to a seemingly barren wooden board in the mansion's library.

With a dramatic shove she flipped it around revealing that on the other side a great many drawings of people had been affixed to it (no doubt with the aid of Cal's adhesives) and bits of different colored string hung between them.

It was complicated in the extreme, looking rather like a spiderweb woven by a collection of different arachnids, none of whom could agree on what color the web should be, and only vaguely aware of what sort of overall pattern to aim for. None the less, if you stared at it long enough it would begin to make a sort of sense, or you would go insane and fool yourself into thinking it was.

"Just about everything in Nosos relates back to Malus Sceleris one way or another." She declared, tapping on a picture of the brown haired business magnate.

"BOO!" Added James Firecat for emphasis.

"Comments from the audience aren't especially necessary. While Mirri might have gathered the raw information, I was the one who manage to make sense of it." Devi added taking up position on the other side of the board before continuing on.

"It is more or less an open secret that for the last few decades the Mayor of Nosos isn't so much in the pocket as actively sown into the garments of the city's richest businessmen. No laws that might inconvenience them have a chance of passing and a great many that aided them are already on the books.

The current man to hold the position Mayor Hendee is no exception, he attends every party Malus holds and has openly voiced the opinion that Malus is a beacon of shining hope to the city of Nosos. What is interesting is that it isn't just traditional civic functions that have been brought, or should I say bought, into Malus' fold." The elf explained.

Mirri lazily traced a piece of black string from the picture of Malus to one of a man dressed in resplendent white vestments.

"Say hello to Robert Ferr, or as he calls himself these days, Bishop Eldon the Third.

Native of Nosos, graduated from the theological institute of Saint Leonard the Pious, and quickly threw himself into working for the local temple of Ezra, where he managed their accounts. He also served as an accountant for various members of the city's upper class, allowing him to build up some considerable temporal holdings for a man of the cloth.

When his predecessor Bishop Francis the Fourth died of illness it turned out that among Francis' last wishes were that Robert would run the church in Nosos.

Now, as much as I hate to put any real effort into theological studies, after all I've already experienced the afterlife, you can't really understand what's going on here without at least a few reference points.

The first Schism that ever took place in the Church of Ezra happened shortly after the death of Yakov Dilisnyas, most likely caused by his sister Camille, who was the ruler of Borca before her daughter Ivana took over. Ezra worship is a big part of Borcan culture, and people were not happy about the fact that their secular leader may have been responsible for the death of the man who founded their church.

So to make amends, Camille responded in pretty much the most Borcan way imaginable, paying a lot of money to the church directly, and spending still more of it to build a great big fancy statue of Ezra for their cathedral.

The majority of Ezra's worshipers were placated by that, but a minority lead by Felix Watcher of Sturben felt that the church had become too materialistic, too tied to the mortal world, so he took his followers out of Borca and into Mordent.

Now suffice to say... the version of Ezra worship practiced here in Nosos makes the one in Borca look like its Mordentish cousin and then some. Most religions, like the one back home for example, they at least give lip service to the idea that even if you're poor and downtrodden in this life, great things can await you in the world to come. At least if you don't raise too much of a fuss and follow the rules. Likewise, those who have everything in this life and misbehave will loose it all in their afterlives.

Here however, they preach something called the Accomplishment Dogma, which says that material wealth and possessions in this life are a direct sign of Ezra's favor. According to his teachings Malus Sceleris is practically the living avatar of Ezra!

Plenty of places have figured out a way to make it illegal to be poor, but only in Nosos have they discovered a way to make it a sin. I really want to shake the hand of whatever bastard came up with that one... right before I fill his body enough with enough negative energy to give him a chance to find out what Ezra really does think of the idea." Mirri admitted.

"As you might guess, here in Nosos there's nothing at all unseemly about churchmen being rich, and the 'good' Bishop has used his wealth to buy a great deal of land in the city's suburbs, in particular he owns most of the land that actually produces any kind of food.

That's problematic for us, but once I started to look at the food situation in Nosos, things got even worse, but it was also when everything started to come together. Mirri would you care to introduce the others to our next major player?" Devi offered.

Mirri's ran her white gloved hands along a red wire connecting "Bishop Eldon the Third" to another man (who was also connected to Malus Sceleris by a black thread) slowly and carefully.

"This is Roger Tulle. We've already done some business with him, since he controls most of the textile factories in Nosos. A few people say that he knew Malus Sceleris from further back than anyone else. Even fewer people after becoming truly well acquainted with my charming personality suggested that they might have done some rather unsavory things together as young men.

He got his big break when a number of textile factories became linked to a string of deadly fevers. They were forced to close down and Roger bought them up before all the fever's victims had even finished shuffling off the mortal coil.

Ever since then, in addition to being an incredibly wealthy textile magnate who also buys all the food sold to Nosos by Mordentish speaking countries, he's the one responsible for putting a good face on whatever new law is about to be passed in Nosos.

To pick an example at something less than random, he's the one who got people sold on the idea that the law which makes it illegal for workers to interact together without permission from the employer was designed to prevent people from sabotaging their products, and thus prevent events like the outbreak which made him such a wealthy man." She noted smugly.

Devi took over, her blue gloves following along a line of red string to a man dressed in a white coat. Like the other two he also had a black string connecting him to Malus Sceleris.

"Which brings us Alaster Nor. The Nors were once a powerful noble family in Nosos, but like every other blue-blooded family their actual wealth has been declining rapidly over the last few decades. Alaster put the education his family's money and status provided him with to good use and decided to become a doctor instead of just sitting atop a shrinking pile of coins while complaining about all these young whippersnappers.

Now, the fact that he's a noble himself meant that he had an instant 'in' with every other ancient well do to family in Nosos that wouldn't dream of hiring some plebeian physician if they could instead pay someone of their own class to do the job.

With that advantage, he managed to acquire a fair bit of wealth which he quickly invested into starting up his own small school to exclusively teach other doctors. The money collected from the green tax goes to fund his research, and supposedly Malus lends him some portions of Sceleris Manor as a place to do research." Devi noted dryly.

Mirri now traced another red wire towards a drawing of a man holding a musket proudly, and to everyone's complete lack of surprise by this point he had a black wire linking him to Malus Sceleris.

"Jeremy McUnres. Talented marksman who is said to field test every single gun his company produces.

People from every nation across the Core except for one, and you can probably guess which one, buy his firearms. He's probably still trying hammer how useful they are into Vlad Drakov's head, which is why he's in charge of all food that is purchased from Falkovnian speaking lands, which much to Vlad's displeasure is still just Falkovnia and nowhere else.

It's rumored that while most bodyguards around these parts get by with clubs and the like, Malus Sceleris keeps Mr. McUnres in the black by making sure every single one of his own protectors has at least one gun. He's supposedly got quite a temper, but if he's actually used his most famous product on any of his employees no one is willing to talk about it, even to me." Mirri warned.

Devi once again took over, drawing attention to the only woman who bound to Malus Sceleris by a black string.

"This is Alana Creen, originally from Kartakass. Much like Malus she got her start in the lumber business. I don't think anyone would ever be able to cut down all the trees there, but she evidently made a damn good go at it..."

"BOOO!" Catcalled Florence Bastien, and noticeably no one decided to comment upon the fact.

"She supposedly has a wolf fur rug that was actually made from the remains wolfweres who objected to her business practices.

Still, there were only so many adventures you could hire in Kartakass who were willing to stand up against the local apex predator. Lucky for her, she made the move to Nosos before running out of people willing to risk their lives protecting her lumberjacks.

She's still in charge of operating what sawmills remain in Nosos, though they're fed exclusively by lumber bought from other realms. She's also in charge of all the food that is purchased from domains that don't speak any of the languages we've previously mentioned, which means she covers not just her own native Kartakass but also Nova Vassa, Hazlan, Sithicus, and Lamordia among others. Mirri care to bring us home?" Devi offered.

The five they had already discussed left just one more black string to explore, and the final one lead to a drawing of a man in glasses.

"This fine gentleman is Armand Hobert. He's a probably the most well known lawyer in Nosos. He successfully defended a number of people accused of some very serious crimes, who just so happened to have given him large 'gifts' afterwards, which I'm sure they acquired through completely legitimate means.

He then used said money to start buying a number of small mines and pieces of mining equipment, which he ended up selling to Malus Sceleris. He is still however in charge of dealing with all food that Nosos purchases from Darkon. He also does everything he can in order to make Nosos attractive to dwarfs since unsurprisingly they do better working in mines than humans do.

He's the least active of the group, mostly enjoying sitting on the wealth that he's made and his contract with Malus still entitles him to get a portion of the wealth those mines produce" Mirri concluded.

"By the way, there's something else worth bringing up. I did a more or less complete circuit of all the city's seamstresses, they were unsurprisingly more than willing to talk to me for a while so long as they got offered a little coin in exchange.

Not a single one of them actually knows anyone who is currently sick with Dum-Dum Fever, they all claim that some rival house of needlework across the city is rife with it, but no one ever went so far as to name names. In short, if we needed more proof for Florence's theory that the Fever isn't a natural disease, well here it is.

Somebody must be spreading rumors that it comes from seamstresses, and I'd be willing to bet blood drops to bullion that its the same person who is actually spreading the disease in the first place." Mirri predicted.

"The two of us have come up with a theory about who that might be..." Devi pointed out while pointedly tapping a finger on the picture of Malus.

"So, these six people are Malus' key agents in Nosos regardless of if he realizes it or not. Food is just about the most basic resource imaginable short of water, and water is a lot harder to corner the market on.

First, because it is so much easier to come by, secondly, because any magic user worthy of the name can summon the stuff up with ease. If Amalgamated Diamonds is going to grow, we're going to have to deal with these six more and more for every employee we hire.

I know Florence's magic can help deal with the issue, but only so much. After all, normally she only has to worry about the six of us, two of whom have some very peculiar diets. To feed all of Amalgamated Diamonds, that would mean magicking up food for over a hundred people. On the other hand, if we can remove these six, then we can really start to put the screws to Malus..." Devi advised.

"Now, as luck would have it, I have already come up with a detailed plan for how to do that..." The vampiress declared proudly.

"Mirri..." Devi growled clearly aware that the others would not like what came next.

"I call it Plan Wildlands. First, I transform into mist, then I waft into each of their mansion at night. Finally, I transform back to normal, then bash their heads in with a rock." She announced proudly.

There was a long silence.

"It'll be a big rock..." Mirri insisted though she didn't win any converts to her latest idea.

"Look, I don't know what you people want from me on this one. We've fought broken ones, lycanthropes, doppelgangers, ancient dead, fey, and who knows wha else. These guys on the other hand, they're just really wealthy bastards, not even priests or wizards with one exception. They seem to be protected mostly by societal conventions and mundane guards. I could kill all six of them in one night." She insisted.

Alexander sighed heavily and leaned even further back against the couch he was sitting in.

"Cal do you want to explain why this won't work or should I?" He offered.

Cal took his chance.

"It won't work for the same reason that you don't defeat a darklord just by stabbing them in the chest with an especially large sword.

The power isn't just in that particular person, there's a power in the land that is aiding them, metaphorically speaking in this case. You see, there are these things called wills, you just may be familiar with the concept?

If we kill one of these guys, they're going to have a will, and that will is going to leave all their money and what not to some other person who is probably just as big a jerk as they are. So, unless we're willing to murder each and every single jerks in Nosos, killing them accomplishes nothing at all." The alchemist insisted.

"So if we can't kill them, what are we going to do about them? I've only got so many tools to work with, and horrible horrible murder has always been my favorite." Mirri declared in a most flustered and irritated manner.

"The answer is simple enough. As Cal pointed out, these people aren't dangerous to us or Nosos because of who they are, no they are dangerous because they have money. We take away their money and then they become more harmless than a termite infested stake." Alexander declared decisively.

"So we steal the money from them? Stealing is good, it isn't as good as murder but I can totally do stealing." Mirri suggested eagerly.

"Devi?" Alexander half groaned making a faint hand motion for the elf to explain.

"Don't think of these people like fairy tail dragons Mirri. They don't keep all their money in one great big pile where it would be at least theoretically possible for someone to walk off with it, assuming they don't get burnt to a crisp and could carry several hundred pounds of precious metals and gems.

No, their wealth is in a constant state of fluctuation, they spend some of it on this today, get more of it back from that business tomorrow. The money is in the business." She informed her companion.

"So if the money is in the business, how do we steal the business? Are we supposed to sneak into the place late at night and start carting it off one brick at a time?" Mirri demanded to know.

"Luckily, that won't be necessary. You see, the people of Nosos have refined the process of 'stealing' a business down to an art form. They even have an delightfully martial turn of phrase for it... a hostile takeover.

What we need to do is to launch hostile takeovers against Malus' various business partners. We 'steal' their businesses, and thus grow Amalgamated Diamonds.

We'll start with the simple things first though. We need to get our hands on as large a stockpile of food as possible, using whatever legal methods possible.

Florence, do whatever is necessary to at least get some berry bushes growing, whatever we loose to the green tax will be more than covered by the harvest. James, if you're not dealing with something else, I want you cleaning out Nosos' sewers. Rat meat doesn't have many virtues but it's edible enough when the alternative is starvation.

Devi see if anyone in this town is selling horses and how much they're going for, run the numbers and see if butchering them for the meat is a worthwhile prospect, though I wouldn't be surprised if someone else has already thought of it. You'll also be in charge of arranging for us to acquire a place to store the food where it won't spoil or get stolen.

Mirri, go talk with whoever our contacts with these six are, and see how much more food we can buy from them before they start to notice things aren't adding up. Cal I want you to get ready to carry on the family tradition. You see, when it comes to our first target for a hostile takeover..." Alexander held out a hand to James gesturing that he needed something.

The werecat handed him one of the many daggers that he kept concealed underneath his jacket.

Alexander tossed the weapon which buried itself up to the hilt in the picture of Armand Hobert.

"Excellent selection, Mirri and I already took the time to set up another board for just this occasion..." Devi replied, as if Alexander Diamondclaw tossing around blades to prove a point was an everyday occurrence (which in all fairness it pretty much was) for them.

Mirri nodded in agreement, walked out of the room and soon pushed in another board that happened to have tiny little wheels attached to the bottom of it. It was designed along similar lines to the one already present, the only difference was that this one had been built around Armand Hobert instead of Malus Sceleris.

"Thanks to Mirri's information gathering I've formulated this chart of all the criminal activity in Nosos that we've been able to link in any way to Mr. Hobert. If we're going to get his attention or get him back in a courtroom, putting the pressure on these people here is how we do it." Devi explained.

"You're going to love how the 'justice' system works in Nosos Boss. Trials are decided solely by judges, and the best part is that whoever looses has to pay all the fees that the winner incurred in the process conducting the trials. Works exactly the same way for both the prosecutor or the defendant, and certain people have ways to incur some pretty high costs. You'd be surprised at how many people that convinces to settle matters out of court." The alchemist informed his commander.

"So, word on the street right now is that Armand Hobert is the greatest lawyer in all of Nosos? Cal do I even need to...?" Alexander began, but didn't bother to actually finish.

"People avoiding being made to pay for crimes they've actually committed? People doing that who aren't us, super powerful mages, or monsters? My Von Karma blood boils at the prospect! Devi give me the bag of holding, I'm going to need my prosecuting cravat!" The Alchemist insisted.

"What's a cravat?" James Firecat asked in confusion.

"It what you wear when a tie isn't fancy enough." Cal explained as he accepted the group's bag of holding and began to reach a hand into it.

Whatever he was looking for had lain unused for a long time because the limb in question plunged in up to his elbow without success.

"There's something fancier than a tie? Why does no one tell me these things?" Alexander groaned.

End Chapter

AN: Ta-freaking-dah. This entire chapter, well what can I say, EXPOSITION, LETS BEGIN, THE EXPOSITION (sung to the tune of "Inquisition" from Mel Brook's History of the World Part 1) sometimes you just need to lay out what is going on and tell your audience what to expect before you can properly move the plot ahead.

The six followers of Malus who Devi and Mirri talk about this chapter are fan creations all also belonging to the same guy who made Roi de Rats from the last chapter.

Finally, if you don't remember/aren't aware "Von Karma" is the family name on the maternal side of Cal's family tree.


	8. Chapter 8

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Eight: From bias free of any kind, this trial must be tried.

There was a soft knocking at the door. When it was not answered the knocking got a louder.

When it was still not answered, it became so forceful as to suggest that the somewhat rickety door might be knocked clean off its hinges soon. Now it was finally answered by a short man who had obviously been too tired to even to wash the soot out of his hair before going to sleep.

"Yes?" He whimpered, finding himself face to face with three much taller men with clean blond hair.

"We're here for the rent." One of them declared briskly.

"I rent this house from Alexander Diamondclaw, not you..." The short man insisted timidly while pointing to a silver armband he was wearing that said "Timothy Jackson, Omega" in black ink.

The three men broke into a series of mocking guffaws before their leader seized Timothy by the throat and lifted him into the air.

"Alexander Diamondclaw ain't here to collect, I am." He sneered.

WHUMP!

A huge silver furred beast that looked like a cross between man and wolf combining the most predatory aspects of both landed in the streets right next to the trio of extortionists.

"I am here to collect, you..." It announced in a surprisingly cultured voice.

Timothy Jackson fell to the ground, the hand that had been holding him so fiercely only a moment ago now suddenly limp with fright.

XXX XXX XXX

"You know that could have gone a lot worse boss..." One blond haired bandit reflected.

"Shut up Bob." Their leader demanded.

"I mean, we're all still alive, we've all still got two eyes, ten fingers ten toes..." Bob insisted, trying to look on the bright side of things.

"Shut up Bob!" Their leader repeated.

"I thought we were gonna be goners for sure, but instead here we are, all of us are gonna live to see another sunrise, even if it is upside down. Who would have suspected a gigantic wolf monster like that would be so good with knots?" He continued on all the same.

"SHUT UP BOB!" Both of his companions bellowed at him as the trio of thieves awkwardly swung back and forth, bound hand and foot and hung upside down from a lamppost outside the Nosos Prison for Industrial Wreckers, (the only facility for incarceration in the land). Each one of them bore a piece of paper with the word "THIEF" (written in a large and somewhat unsteady hand) adhesively attached to their outfit.

It was at this point that Bob finally (and wisely) chose to shut up.

XXX XXX XXX

Suffice it to say, if a certain trio of bandits were not having the best of nights, Armand Hobert awoke to discover he was not going to be having the best of days.

There hadn't been much call for his particular skills recently and for the most part he simply let the gears spin as they would, money arriving at his doorstep sooner or later.

Today though, today he'd actually have to work. Which meant taking a carriage into, well Nosos was one giant city, but some parts of it were more city than others, and the location of its jail was even city-er than most.

After a few people checked the necessary pieces of paper (hardly necessary since everyone who was anyone in Nosos' legal community knew his face) he was given a chance to meet privately with his newest clients.

He quickly reassured them that despite their rough night they didn't really have anything to fear. Pieces of paper being affixed to one's garments by oversized lupine monsters was no basis for properly determining guilt or innocence in the eyes of the law.

For them to even possibly go to trial there would need to be someone willing to press charges, and once it was made clear that Armand Hobert had vowed to defend them, that person would need to have some very deep pockets to even think about such a thing.

Justice in Nosos was like food or wine, rich people ordered it whenever the desire struck them, and poor people had to make do with whatever scraps they could find. So long as thieves only preyed upon those who had little enough already, they were utterly safe from prosecution.

XXX XXX XXX

"My name is Alexander Diamondclaw, I'm here to press charges against some bandits you've recently captured." The silver haired man declared, gently leaning on his on his cane all the while.

The jailer looked at him askance.

"You're telling me that someone was able to steal from you, and you expect us to have picked them up by random chance?" He inquired derisively.

"It is my understanding that three men within your cells by the names of Fredrick Hanson, Henry Paterson, and Bob Kovich were responsible for attempting to commit crimes against an employee of Amalgamated Diamonds and thus against me by extension.

In particular, by stealing money from one of my workers they were depriving him of the means to keep himself properly fed, thus inevitably decreasing his physical strength and the amount of work I'd be able get out of him.

Secondly, by causing him mental stress with their various illegal behaviors they increased the chances that he'd make a mistake in my mine, and mistakes inside a mine can end up costing its owner more than a bandit could ever hope to possibly steal from a single miner.

Which is why it is my intention to see them punished for their crimes to the fullest extent of the law. My original plan involved turning them upside down, shaking them, then laying claim to anything that fell out, but my legal council Mr. Von Karma informs me that Nosos has yet more punitive measures available." Alexander explained.

There was a soft sparkle as light struck the blue lenses that rested across Callan Von Karma's face.

He was dressed in a deep purple suit coat with a black vest on underneath it, and fancy white cravat. The only way he could have looked more ready to prosecute crimes would have involved a mask, lockpicks, and crowbar.

"Of the Lamordian Von Karmas." Cal explained, handing over small piece of paper with his name artfully written upon it above the words "Von Karma & Skye & Firecat & Associates" in the same playfully precises script.

"After inspecting the legal precedents related to this matter, I realized that in Nosos the proper punishment for such an offense would be to have the criminals forced to pay quite a large fine, or shipped off to a workhouse where their wages would be heavily garnished and redistributed to Mr. Diamondclaw." Cal explained, displaying his own best predatory grin all the while.

XXX XXX XXX

"What do you think you're doing?" Armand Hobert blustered in anger.

He'd been about halfway through giving his traditional reassuring speech when word had come down that Alexander Diamondclaw, an Owner of all things, intended to press charges against the accused thieves.

He had not taken the news extraordinarily well, and immediately headed out to find out what exactly was going on.

Alexander took one look at the older man in a black and white morning coat but and began to speak but Cal made an abrupt hand motion.

Deferring to his companion's greater knowledge in this particular arena Alexander kept silent, and let his dirty blond haired beta do the talking.

"A pleasure to meet you Mr. Hobert. Would I be correct to assume that you intend to defend the accused?" Cal asked with icy politeness.

One brisk nod later, he continued.

"Well, as I already explained to the jailer, Mr. Diamondclaw is the primary owner of Amalgamated Diamonds. The greater success of that company is reliant upon the lesser success of its employees. Lesser successes like being able to get a proper night's rest without fear of extortion.

A crime that in any way inconveniences an employee of Amalgamated Diamonds is a crime that inconveniences Mr. Diamondclaw. So, he is seeing to it that those who seek to illegally undermine his business are punished. That's what the law exists for in the first place isn't it?" Cal explained, before taking a moment to remove his glasses and polish their already clean lenses.

"You really think they're guilty then?" Armand replied incredulously.

"You really think they're innocent?" Callan Von Karma shot back before he and Alexander departed.

XXX XXX XXX

"Welcome to Callan Von Karma's Pretrial Services." Cal declared proudly as he stood before another of Devi's many string covered boards.

"You know, if you wanted to use your maternal name you should have put it down on the papers we signed when buying Resten Jewelery." Devi pointed out.

The alchemist turned attorney was mightily insulted by this suggestion.

"Listen Devi, it's not about presenting myself as a noble, it's about family tradition! Do you know how proud of me mom would be if I wrote her a letter saying that I now had a flawless one case one conviction record?

Okay she'd probably call me a fool for taking this long and wasting my time prosecuting something so far below my station rather than a proper murder case, but that's neither here nor there.

What matters is that the Von Karma name stands for two important things in the legal community: the first is a peerless dedication to the cause of prosecution, the second is cheating, lots and lots of cheating.

Granted most of the latter was because of grandad who was hung well before I was even born, but reputations can be tricky things to shake." Cal explained.

"How exactly did he 'cheat' at a trial, isn't the point of a trial to show off all the evidence and thus the truth will always win out?" James Firecat asked in confusion.

"Lets just say my grandfather's cane/walking stick was also a cane/walking stick/wand of lightning bolts, and he once emptied the entire thing into dad before stealing some evidence from him." Cal admitted, his face flushing slightly.

"Still, the Von Karma name has struck fear into the hearts of the guilty and those who defended them throughout all of Lamordian history! In fact, we were doing it even before crazy old man Mordenheim was born!

Today, I am proud to carry on that tradition!

Now, the good news is that we all objectively know that the accused are guilty. That's a big plus, but we can't rest on our laurels expecting that alone, or even it combined with my impeccable fashion sense to get us a conviction.

No, ancient Von Karma tradition teaches that you must approach a trial the same way you approach a battle. You must be aware that the outcome can frequently be decided before the event itself begins!

Which is why you're all here, just like it is necessary to build fortifications or harry a foe's supply lines before an actual battle, certain steps have to be taken before our trial even begins. I happen to have a lifetime's worth of stories about how various people have tried to cheat trials, so its my job to foresee what tricks our foe will attempt and take precautions to thwart him at every turn.

Remember, it isn't cheating, not real cheating, if they're actually guilty, it is just creative justice!" Callan Von Karma declared decisively.

XXX XXX XXX

"You will still be able to get us out of this... right?" Demanded Fredrick Hanson, looking through a small gap in an otherwise stout iron door.

The three of them had originally been kept locked up simply as a curiosity and probably would have been let go in a day or so. Now that an Owner had declared his interest in prosecuting them though, they had been transferred into three separate cells.

"Your employer keeps me on retainer for exactly these situations. Besides, he'll be doing as much before the trial as I will during it to ensure your freedom. To start with, for them to even have a case they'll need find someone willing to say that you personally threatened them. My understanding is that working in a mine is a very dangerous business, people die all the time..." Armand Hobert reflected.

XXX XXX XXX

"Mr. Jackson, welcome to Chateau Argent, you'll be staying here for the foreseeable future. Your wages will be payed in full as my honored guest. The only thing I request is that you don't don't leave unless you're accompanied by at least one Alphas. Feel free to ring the bell if there's anything my servants can get you."

XXX XXX XXX

"Then to make the matter more than simple hearsay they'd need to find some proof that you were actually threatening him..."

XXX XXX XXX

"By the way, your garments will be returned to you just as soon as Mr. Wright is finished fingerprinting them, I hope you don't mind having to make do with some of my spares till then."

XXX XXX XXX

"Not to mention other witnesses to the crime itself..."

XXX XXX XXX

"Practice makes perfect so we better get started. Ahem, Ms. Catwarrior what were you doing out on the night which lead to you observing the altercation in question?"

"Exchanging bodily fluids of an intimate nature with James Firecat on the roof of a nearby building."

"Any particular reason you went to that building in the first place?"

"I'd heard someone was going to get the shit kicked out of them, and the only thing I like better than watching that is doing it myself."

"Well, it's a start..."

XXX XXX XXX

"Besides, as you should all be aware, Nosos' head Judge is a great friend of mine..."

XXX XXX XXX

"How do you do your honor? I'm Mirri Catwarrior, the most beautiful woman in the city."

"Yes... yes you are..."

XXX XXX XXX

"They would probably need to find still more witnesses to collaborate your crimes and establish a pattern..."

XXX XXX XXX

"Excuse me good sir, my name is Alexander Diamondclaw, have you by any chance been threatened by any of the following men in the recent past..."

XXX XXX XX

"So as you can see, you really don't have a lot to worry about..." Just as Armand Hobert was getting up to leave, Callan Von Karma walked in, with a wide smile on his face, accompanied by six jailers.

"You know it is both amazing and horrifying how few legal protections Renters accused by an Owner get. So your client is going to do exactly as I say and give me a good clean finger print sample. Otherwise, I'll just have these men hold his hands still. I'd highly suggest you advise them cooperate, since my current companions don't exactly seem the gentle type." The prosecutor explained.

XXX XXX XXX

"OBJECTION!'

XXX XXX XXX

"HOLD IT!"

XXX XXX XXX

"OBJECTION!"

XXX XXX XXX

"TAKE THAT!"

XXX XXX XXX

1: Give him a moment to compose himself.

2: A flawless conviction record requires a prosecutor of flawless conviction. Crush him! -

XXX XXX XXX

"OBJECTION!"

XXX XXX XXX

"EUREKA!"

XXX XXX XXX

"OBJECTION!"

XXX XXX XXX

1: Dad would be ashamed of me if he saw me acting like this...

2: But Mom, on the other hand... she'd buy me an ice cream! -

XXX XXX XX

"O-B-J-E-C-T-I-O-N!"

XXX XXX XXX

"Having considers all the evidence presented to the court, I have come to my conclusion. I hereby find the defendants guilty!" The judge declared while slamming his gavel down hard.

Considerable unrestrained cheering broke out from the prosecution side of the courtroom, especially given the fact that at the moment James Firecat was happily throwing handfuls of confetti he'd spent last night preparing.

The judge in an amazing show of stoicism seemingly did not find this worth commenting on. Instead, he simply rapped his gavel down a second time and continued as if several pieces of confetti hadn't already landed atop his black robe.

"For their crimes against Amalgamated Diamonds the accused will have to pay a fine of 1,000 gold pieces. Payment to take place with in a month. Court is dismissed!" He brought the gavel down again with great solemnity, willing himself deaf and blind and deaf to the certain shouts of triumph and joy, especially those that began "GIVE ME A G, GIVE ME A U..."

XXX XXX XXX

"Was a pleasure prosecuting against you." Callan Von Karma told Armand Hobert outside the court room.

"Tell me, did you come by such a smug expression naturally, or do you have to work at it?" The defeated lawyer replied.

"Little from column A, little from column B. The Von Karma bloodline is known for our excellent smirks, but practice makes perfect. By the way, since you clearly have a few things left to learn, let me give you some advice, get out, now." Cal informed the older man.

"Ha! Do you really think one tiny little defeat makes that much of a difference? This was just a pathetic little trial and those people were nothing but pathetic little thieves. I was only doing his because even the guilty, especially the guilty, deserve the best defense possible." Armand Hobert insisted.

"I'm not going to say you're wrong, so in the nature of small things, allow me to present my 'little' bill." The purple clad prosecutor said while pulling out a sheet of paper and handing it to his opponent.

Armand Hobert's eyes carefully scanned the piece of paper, then went wide when they got to the bottom.

"You can't be serious..." He snarled while crumpling up the piece of paper.

"Oh I'm entirely serious, and that bill is entirely legal. I had one of my assistants run the numbers on how much wealth we normally acquire over a given period of time, then plug those numbers into how long we spent working on the trial, and that's the bill you end up with.

The law in Nosos is quite clear on this particular point, the loosing side in a court case, their representation included, is responsible for paying off the winning side's legal fees. You represented those men, you lost, so you'll pay that fee." Cal insisted with a confident sneer.

"I'll... I'll..." Armand began while waving the bill in Cal's face, but not quite certain what he would actually do.

"You'll bluster a lot and say nothing of value, just like you did back in the courtroom? Believe me, I was as surprised bordering on shocked when I discovered that there weren't any provisions for challenging the legal costs levied on the looser after a trial.

It seems that whoever wrote those particular laws were suffering from a remarkable lack of foresight, that or they simply couldn't imagine themselves loosing a case. You'll be paying that bill inside a month, or you'll be shipped of to a workhouse, just like your clients." Callan Von Karma pointed out.

"Do you know who some of my friends are?" Armand Hobert hissed.

"Convicted Criminals?" Cal guessed playfully.

"Do please remember Mr. Hobert, I'm an Owner. Any crime against me, is the highest sort of crime in Nosos.

So go ahead, have your 'friends' do their worst, they won't be the first to have tried and failed to take me down. They'll get captured in the act, you'll be forced to defend them, we'll be getting another judgment in our favor, and you'll be getting another 'little' legal bill.

That's why I'll repeat my advice, get, out, now. You can do that today while you're still a rich man, or you can let yourself get dragged into court case after court case against me, loosing more and more of your money, and making yourself look like more and more of a failure in the eyes of your 'friends' with every guilty verdict.

It'll be interesting to see what happens first, you run out of money, or they run out of patience." Cal pointed out.

Armand Hobert could find nothing to say, but he simply turned and walked out. Before he could leave the courthouse proper however he ran into Alexander Diamondclaw who was leaning against the wall by the place's main exit.

"If you ever feel like retiring from the active business life in Nosos, well I gave Edward Resten very reasonable terms. I'd be willing to do the same for you. Not only that, but as Mr. Timothy Jackson can attest, there's nowhere safer in Nosos that Chateau Argent..." He offered, though Armand Hobert acted as if he hadn't even heard the words.

XXX XXX XXX

Armand Hobert returned to his mansion and said nothing to his servants who fluttered around him trying to do whatever they could to lighten his mood less he take out his obvious ill-temper on them. Armand dismissed them one and all and headed into his private chambers to get some sleep.

After fishing a key from his jacket and opening up the magically locked door he slowly walked in and ignited a small lantern so he didn't accidentally trip over something.

That was when he discovered that someone had somehow snuck into the room while he was out.

The words "We are upset, very upset" had been scrawled on the wall beside his bed, in blood.

XXX XXX XXX

"Are you sure using blood wasn't overdoing it?" Cal Wright couldn't help but ask.

Mirri Catwarrior simply shrugged.

"Like I told you guys back at the first meeting, I only have so many tools at my disposal. Besides, the rat James got for me didn't have anywhere near as much of the stuff as I would have liked. I was going to end it with an exclamation point, but by the time I got to the second 's' it was running dry, so I concluded it without even a period." The vampiress explained.

"I made sure to kill it by breaking its neck, I wanted you to have as much to work with as possible!" James helpfully pipped up.

"I think the important take away from this is, next time I'll bring two rats." Mirri insisted.

"Judging by the carriage heading our way I'm doubt there will need to be a next time..." Cal predicted cheerfully.

XXX XXX XXX

"Mr. Hobert what a surprise! Welcome Chateau Argent, shall we get down to business negotiating the transfer of those food contracts you currently have with Darkon?" Inquired Alexander Diamondclaw.

End Chapter.

AN: The very first thing that might leap out at you, are some of Cal's mental thoughts (themselves adapter from a line in Leverage) an anachronism? Well not really, it's impossible to nail down exactly when ice cream first came around, but a quick google says it's been around a lot longer than you might think. Given that there are some examples of it dating back to the revolutionary war, it's not especially outlandish to imagine that it is a treat of choice in Lamordia the Core's coldest domain.

In theory there probably should have been a scene where Alex goes to visit Timothy in person and be all "I heard there was some sort of weird disturbance around your house last night, do you want to tell me anything about it" before he goes to prosecute the case, or even a scene Timothy coming to him beforehand and talking about how he was being menaced and Alex promising him to take care of it. Neither scene felt necessary though, especially when the last chapter closed with them taking a more open ended look at the criminals connected one way or another to Armand Hobert. I mean, did you feel something was missing by leaving those scenes out? (Serious question interested in feedback)

Next up, yes I'm relaying this entire trial by way of Phoenix Wrightisms. I don't know nearly enough about how trials work in real life let alone how they work in Nosos to write one up properly. Not only that, but I really, REALLY doubt that you folks would find it amusing/interesting to actually read about everything that takes place during the actual trial.

So instead, having clearly established that since Cal is quite familiar with the history and prosecuting strategy of Manfred Von Karma (who is pretty much the gold standard for being an amoral attorney who gets results) that then combined with growing up on the stories of every single case his father ever defended, or his mother ever prosecuted, he knows most of the ways people try to game the system.

With those great reservoirs of knowledge at his disposal he makes sure that during the "Pretrial Services" segment to set up counters for all of his opponents most likely moves. Likewise he undoes most of Armand's influence over the case's judge by having Mirri hang out with him socially and repeatedly use her charm gaze attack on him.

By the time the trial itself starts he's more or less equally biased in favor of both sides of the case, which if not exactly the same thing as being impartial, is close enough for what Cal has planned.

If any of this seems unethical, are you terrible surprised given that this is Cal's plan? A pair of lines paraphrased from the movie Runaway Jury could pretty much equally sum up the situation.

Armand Hobert: How did you do it? How did you swing the judge, swing the whole courtroom your way?

Cal: I didn't swing anybody. I just stopped you from stealing it.

Cal is after all, entirely correct that Armand had no desire to play fair in the court and given that the justice system in Nosos is inherently corrupt and favoring the rich, he decided to find a way to make that corruption work for him/the group.

If I took this story a little less seriously (and felt the technology level was right) I might have included a scene where they wheeled back out the big board and Cal Wright proudly took a pair of scissors to the black string connecting Malus Sceleris and Armand Hobert with all the gravitas of a government official now declaring a new bridge /shopping mall officially open, though in this case it represents one of Malus' conduits of power being officially closed.

It's never officially described exactly how organized the crime is in Nosos, and exactly what kind of relationship Armand has with said organized crime (remember, I'm working from fannon material here folks, so now "you get what you pay for" twice over, first in the writing of the over all material and then my adapting it into a story) but I'm going to assume that like just about every mob lawyer who ever existed, he has to be at least a little afraid of what might happen if his unsavory 'friends' decide that he isn't getting them the verdicts they need and knows entirely too much.

It helps that in the fannon material Armand is depicted as being the oldest/least actively involved of Malus' half a dozen major players in Nosos, so obviously he'd be the easiest one to convince to get out of "the game" in favor of a safe quite boring life. After all, even in Nosos, regardless of what the Accomplishment Dogma might say, you can't take it with you and dying atop a pile of gold coins of unnatural causes is still dying of unnatural causes.

By the way, if you didn't catch it, yes when Cal's prosecution outfit is pretty much exactly what Miles Edgeworth wears in the first Ace Attorney Game give or take the glasses, though by Dual Destiny's Miles actually has picked up a pair of lenses himself, though probably for the opposite reason that Cal does.


	9. Chapter 9

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Nine: Siam is gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness...

"So as you might guess, when I woke up, hanging upside down over a bubbling pot, I said to myself, 'Alexander Diamondclaw, you're going to have to come up with something truly magnificent to get yourself out of this one...'." The silver haired man explained.

He was wearing his wolf mask again, but doing precious little else to hide his identity. It was his party after all.

To celebrate Amalgamated Diamonds managing to transfer more of its excess liquid capital (though Alex honestly wasn't sure why Devi called it that since gold coins seemed pretty solid to him) into profitable business ventures, (the right to buy and distribute all food purchased from Darkon) he was holding a grand masquerade in Chateau Argent.

While he'd mostly hung around at the edges of Malus' party, he was more than willing to take center stage at this one. It also turned out that Nosos' upper class were a surprisingly keen audience for tales of his past exploits.

"Is that how you ended up loosing your eye?" One member of his audience in a hawk mask inquired.

Alexander shot him a look which suggested that the man probably read novels by flipping to the last page (assuming he read any at all) but continued on all the same.

"No, I'd already misplaced it by then. Still, what you need to understand was that these weren't just any goblins I'd been captured by, these were Forlorn Goblyns: bigger, meaner, better organized, stronger, slightly less cowardly.

So then this goblyn who was wearing marginally less dirty clothing with a number of fancy feathers in its greasy hair approached me. He croaked out in their guttural language that I could either be boiled in their stewpot, or I could heft the arbor..." The silver haired man continued.

"What is an 'arbor' exactly?" A woman in a doe mask pipped up.

"That my deer lady was precisely the question that I found myself grappling with. I rather quickly decided that anything was preferable to the stewpot though, so I agreed to heft the arbor.

All of a sudden the entire tribe began to dance around, hooting and hollering with delight as if they were preparing for a celebration even greater than the feast my cooked body would have been.

A full score of them undid my bindings to the ceiling, after moving the stewpot thankfully, but still keep my legs tied together. Then they dragged me over to a large open arena. There I had my legs clamped in irons secured to stakes driven into the ground so the most I could do to move was shuffle an inch or two to the left or right.

At that point a team of ten of the little monsters walked in carrying a log that was nearly six meters long! This it turned out, was the 'arbor' in question. They laid it on the ground, and three of the strongest among the whole tribe gathered together on the opposite side of the arena facing me.

Working together they managed to get the thing off the ground, took a few halting paces, then tossed the arbor, right, at, me." Their host continued.

Alexander at this point abandoned words for a moment to instead slowly exhale through pursed lips over a finger he gently twirled, mimicking the spinning of the arbor.

"Short of a house I've never seen anything made of wood as large as the arbor, and I knew that thing would be more than capable of turning me into a bloody smear on the ground.

With my legs shackled in place I couldn't walk let alone run, so I just sort of leaned and hoped for the best. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die, but all that was flashing before mine was a gigantic spinning hunk of wood.

WOOH, WOOH, WOOO... WHUMP! The arbor landed upright less than five feet in front of me. At that point there was a great deal of booing and complaining from the watching goblyns.

I was worried that the trio would have another one brought to heave at me, or just get to retrieve this one instead.

As it turns out however, now it was my turn, and they'd been kind enough to land the arbor within arms reach. The rules seemed simple enough, so with the strength of a man who was horrified out of his wits, I grabbed the arbor, lifted it up off the ground, and tossed it right back at them.

Every goblyn there was spell bound as it spiraled through the air, rotating end over over end. It made one rotation, then it made a second, it made a third, then it landed.

There was this... distinct... squishing sound. It turns out even the three who had tossed the arbor at me had been so invested in watching the thing that they hadn't bothered to move, and I'd managed to land the thing more or less point blank on top of one of them.

There wouldn't have been enough left of the beasty to fill a wine jug left alone a casket. So having done that, there was a very long silence... and then all the goblyns started hooting and hollering again. The ones who had originally brought the arbor in raced over and grabbed it up with nary a thought for their slain companion.

There was a lot more shouting and debating among my captors, and to my surprise they began affixing leg irons to two surviving members of the three goblyn team, who understandably did not seem at all that happy about the prospect.

The other creatures carried the arbor over and dumped it in front of me, while it seemed that every single one of them was shouting what passed for 'do it again!' in their fowl language. So I took a deep breath, spent a moment contemplating the exact distance between me and the two immobilized goblins, and then I picked up the arbor a second time. Woo, woo, wooohhhhhh, SPLAT" Alexander explained while slapping his left hand against his hip for emphasis.

A few members of his audience looked away, expressions of disgust no doubt hidden behind their masks. A great many more leaned in, no doubt as fascinated by their mental images as the goblyns had been by the real thing.

"So you had killed two of them at that point, what did they do next?" Asked a man in a shark mask.

"I waited while they brought the arbor over to me again. Then I hefted the arbor a third time. I was actually starting to find it almost enjoyable by that point, and was approaching it as a genuine sport rather than just a fancy way to execute someone.

So with a little elbow geese I actually managed to get the thing to make four rotations before it landed. That, along with the death of the last member of the trio brought the crowd no end of amusement. They were so delighted by it that a team of five more goblyns came out to heft the arbor against me.

Now, given that the first three had only just barley failed, it seemed my only hope was that this group would overshoot. No such luck though, for muck encrusted monsters they knew their work all too well.

I saw the arbor rotate twice as it headed right for me, and I raised up my hands, determined to catch the arbor or die in the attempt..." Alexander brought the tale to an eery cliffhanger and simply let it lay there for a moment.

Sure enough one member of the crowd around him rose to the bait.

"Did you catch it?" Asked a woman in a dove mask as she gently fanned herself.

"My hands rose up... and they caught two chunks of half mulch.

The entire arbor had seemingly rotted in the time that it needed to cross the distance between us. I just sort of stared at what was left of the arbor, and the goblyns just sort of stared at me. That meant they didn't realize what was going on until these great huge green vines started wrapping around them and hoisting them up into the air!

It was at this point that my savior had a few choice words for me..." Alexander reached out through the crowd and effortlessly wrapped an arm around a woman in a (new) mask designed in the shape of tree leaf.

"You really need to stop being quite so noble Sir Knight. Trying to fight off an entire tribe of goblyns so I wouldn't come to harm is all very well and good, but having an escape plan of your own might have been a good idea." Florence Bastien concluded.

"You see, while the goblyns had been having their fun with me, Florence had been busy having a meeting with some of the local druids. Florence promised that if they worked with her they'd get a chance to wipe out an entire tribe of goblyns while they were quite thoroughly distracted." Alexander explained, a sly look in his single visible eye.

"How exactly did you know that they would be distracted?" A man in a fox mask couldn't help but ask.

"We hadn't been together that long, but already I knew a thing or two about Alexander Diamondclaw. His ego simply wouldn't allow him to be anything less than the center of attention, especially at his own execution." Florence teased her companion while wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

There were 'oohs' and 'aahs' of approval as Alexander's face became slightly flushed behind his mask. There was a great deal of applause, but none of it was louder or more enthusiastic than that produced by a man whose mask had been designed in the shape of a metallic cog.

"A most thrilling tale." Suggested the brown haired blue eyed man who was undoubtedly Malus Sceleris.

"Much thanks for your kind words, I'm afraid though that I need to deal with few matters of business before I can regale you with another..." Alexander insisted turning to face man in the cog mask.

"If you wouldn't mind?" He invited his guest, gesturing towards the stairs leading up to some of the mansion's private rooms.

"I would have made the same suggestion myself if it wouldn't have been impossibly rude way for a guest to address his host..." The other man confirmed.

The pair headed upstairs together while Florence no doubt kept the gathered crowd entertained with another tale of her and Alexander's early exploits.

"Masks off?" Alexander suggested once he closed the door behind him.

"Quite so." His guest agreed.

Alexander Diamondclaw and Malus Sceleris both removed their masks and laid them gently aside for the moment.

"You know, in some circles they're already starting to call you the Wolf of Nosos." Malus informed his host, though his tone of voice was so dry it was impossible to tell if it was a compliment or insult.

"Can't imagine why they'd be doing that. Chair?" Alexander offered gesturing towards a pair of resting places on either side of a large table.

Malus accepted, and his eyes almost immediately focused on one aspect of the table.

"That's a splendid regicide board. I don't think I've seen it before, is it yours, or was Edward simply keeping it hidden?" Malus inquired.

"Mine." Alexander replied, gently reaching out to rub a hand against the queen on his side of the board.

It was a very splendid board when viewed by any sort of impartial eye. Its real beauty lay not so much in the board itself of course, but the pieces that resided upon it. The side closer to Malus gleamed gold (and you only needed to pick up a single piece to realize they had indeed been crafted of the precious metal) while it was opposed by a force of shining silver.

Aside from having both been made of precious metals the two armies had little else in common.

The golden one was made of traditional soldiers, while the roles of rooks, bishops and knights were played by extremely well dressed humans. A somewhat obvious flaw in the regicide set became noticeable at this point, its back row pieces did not properly mirror one another.

His king side bishop was a man of the cloth while his queen side one seemed to be a barrister of some sort. His two knights were not even of the same sex! His Queen ironically was completely lacking in gender, instead it seemed like a monstrous factory come to life with huge smokestacks bursting from its back and tinny flames roaring from the mouth.

The golden king was by comparison a much simpler figure, a rather nondescript man with a cheerful smirk dressed in the finest of clothing.

The silver army by comparison seemed all but completely devoid of human figures, its pawns were wolves, its rooks were a lioness and some other rather scruffier form of cat creature.

Its knights were a great flaming bird and some sort of golem, seemingly composed of various scraps of paper. Its bishops were two figures seemingly composed of rock, one small and squat the other more humanoid in size.

Like its golden counterpart, the silver queen seemed less like a person and more like a concept brought to life. It was a towering creature with logs for limbs its body composed of vines, leaves, and other bits of foliage twisting here and there.

The silver king however was a tall man with long hair which seemed to be blowing in some non-existent wind which obscuring his face slightly. In particular, it was not possible to tell if he was wearing (or needed) an eyepatch at the moment.

"Why are you doing this?" Malus asked locking eyes with Alexander.

"The same reason that anyone else does anything in Nosos, I'm trying to get rich, well richer." Alexander insisted in an offhand manner.

"I've heard talk that you're having your workers form a union." Malus declared incredulously.

"I'm trying something different. Sceleris Industries is already so well established that I simply wouldn't have a chance to get anywhere by aping your methods. So I figured I'll go out on a limb and see what happens." The silver haired man reflected with a casual shrug.

"The thing about tree limbs is that they're undependable, they break." Malus growled.

"I know a woman with some skill at reinforcing them. Still, if it happens, it will happen. As you, as now just about everyone in Nosos knows, I made my money by adventuring. If what I'm trying doesn't work, it will probably fail pretty quickly.

So I'll be poor again, but so long as I don't throw away my sword and a few other magic nicknacks, there's nothing to stop me from going right back to my old career. Killing monsters for money is something that never goes out of style." Alexander insisted.

Malus chewed on that for a moment and then he smiled.

"You know Mr. Diamondclaw, you really are a man after my own heart. Invest your entire fortune in a business, and if it fails, build your wealth up again from scratch without feeling the least bit ashamed of it!" Malus declared while grinning wildly.

"Well at the end of the day what is money but a way to keep score? It is a great pleasure to be pulled to Nosos' bosom and given a chance to leave my own mark on the city." The green eyed man reflected jovially.

"I'm sure that you'll find a way to do that sooner or later Mr. Diamondclaw, I'm sure you will. Until then, lets go back downstairs so that I can show all your guests just how much I appreciated having a new spirited businessman in the city." Malus offered.

Alexander accepted and the two headed back downstairs. As he swept past the Regicide set, Alexander casually flicked out his left hand, and gently nudged over a single golden bishop. A gleaming barrister was tipped over and lay flat upon the board, though neither of the room's occupants bothered to comment on the fact.

After re-donning their masks and heading down they soon drew a fair sized crowd around them. Malus and Alexander in the style of Owners showing the utmost respect for one another, removed their stylish gloves and shook hands. Once they had done that Alexander clasped the smaller man to his chest easily with a wide smile on his face.

"Thank you once again Malus, but before you go, you really should hear the end of that story I was telling.

You see, it turned out that Shelaugh, the head of the Forlorn druid group, had been told by Florence about what I'd done for her. When she discovered how willing I was to risk my life to save a druid, it meant a lot to her.

She said that from that day forth, I was a blessed of Diancecht.

Diancecht is a god of life, but not necessarily life that we find pleasant. To put it bluntly, he is the god of diseases and, though for every single illness he creates, he also brought about a cure.

I thought that it was just a lot of fancy words, but then strange things started happening. I went an entire year without ever getting sick, not even a simple cold, fever, or touch of the flu.

At first I suspected it was just blind luck, right up until I got stabbed by a poisoned blade, one that I'd seen kill a man with simple a scratch, and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

After that, I started taking the those words about me being a blessed of Diancecht a lot more seriously. It was stupid, but I couldn't help but want to test further... and it eventually lead to this amusing little parlor trick. Devi, set up the glasses..." He declared putting his glove back on and clapping his hands together loudly.

Devi needed no further orders as she quickly began to produce several glasses from her bag of holding, and then start filling them up with various brightly colored bubbling mixtures.

"These are all lethal poisons that I've come across over my years as an adventurer. Do please keep your eyes wide open folks, I don't like to do this trick very often, deadly poisons aren't cheap." The silver haired man insisted as he removed his wolf mask.

Then, once all the glasses had been filled, Alexander went from one to the next, drinking them all down with speed that would have been impressive even if they contained simple spirits.

Once he'd completely emptied the final goblets' contents, he paused for a moment and took a deep bow, his actions soliciting a great deal of applause and cries of shock and horror.

"Please don't applaud too loudly ladies and gentlemen, its not like I really did anything to deserve it. It's only possible thanks to those druids who decided to share their blessings with me!" He insisted.

Amid the cheers and cries of delighted surprise, nobody noticed Malus Sceleris exiting without saying a single word, his expression completely hidden behind that metallic gear.

XXX XXX XXX

"How much longer do you plan to keep doing this for?" Florence Bastien couldn't help but ask.

Alexander Diamondclaw was crouched down before one of the handful of fireplaces in Chateau Argent. At the moment there was a roaring blaze in it.

"Fire is mankind's greatest friend against so many different foes. That is why I love it so." Alexander declared with a broad grin on his face.

"I asked you a question..." Florence tut-tutted not especially in the mood to be ignored by her male companion.

"Through all the changes that I've undergone in my life, and there have been a lot of them, I've never really lost my respect and devotion it..." The silver haired man insisted, his single eye watching the flickering flames dance back and forth.

Seeing that words alone might not be enough in this situation, Florence proceeded to rap him on the head with her wooden staff to better get his attention.

"I asked you how much longer you plan to keep doing this Alpha Male...?" She insisted.

Laying in the middle of the fire was a single glove. Mirroring its fate Alexander's right hand was held just inches above the burning coals. Flames licked around his bare flesh, which seemed to be more or less charred black by this point.

"Probably another half an hour or so at most. That's the wonderful thing about fire, it purifies." The silver haired man insisted, his expression completely neutral and unbothered by his current actions.

"You could have just refused to shake his hand you know. You could have claimed to have been sick with something yourself. If you'd just done that, then you wouldn't have to be mutilating yourself to keep the rest of us safe right now." She pointed out.

"You seem to have forgotten that mutilating myself to keep others safe is my purpose in life." Alexander pouted in a most affronted tone of voice.

"There's a secret I've shared with the bouncers in a few taverns I approve of. If you want a surefire way to get a man 's attention for five minutes, break one of his fingers.

Easy as that.

There's no pain in the world like it.

Every time I transform, I break all ten of my fingers. My toes are the next thing to go followed by snapping my own spine, and you'd probably rather not hear about what happens to my jaw to make room for my new fangs.

It's not a pleasant experience Florence, it really isn't.

So after Malus covered my hand with whatever it is he uses to spread Dum-Dum Fever, I'm not going to feel comfortable being near any of you until I'm sure it is clean as can be." He insisted.

"So your plan is to have that fire not just burn your flesh, but your bones as well?" The dryad replied with a condescending sniff.

"I'd actually prefer it if I could get the fire hot enough to char the flesh off my bones completely. I'll grow new stuff to replace it soon enough after all. Not having much luck with that at the moment though, so this will have to do." Alexander reflected gazing at his darkened skin.

"You made a mistake by showing him that Dum-Dum Fever wouldn't work on you so blatantly. It gives him more time to think of other ways to attack Amalgamated Diamonds." Florence insisted gravely.

"I wanted to see the expression on his face when he realized it... I wanted it so baddy..." Alexander Diamondclaw's voice was about as close to a purr as someone otherwise completely lacking in feline qualities could produce.

"So now that you've seen it, and you're currently roasting your hand, was it really worth it?" Florence asked in a disproving tone.

"Oh yes!" Alexander gushed without a hint of hesitation.

"There is nothing in the world like that moment of realization, that flash of complete and utter shocked surprise, I drink it up the way that Mirri drinks blood..." The silver haired man insisted.

Florence shook her head and walked out of the room.

"Oh come on, are you really that upset? It is not like I'm telling you anything you didn't already know!" Alexander called out to her as his dedication to the task at hand was too great to let him leave it half completed and give chase.

Florence walked back in soon enough, an object that was most definitely not a wooden staff in both hands.

She gave Alexander enough time to size it up, then twisted her body and hurled it right at his head.

"You're a beast." Was the only comment she had to make in the process.

The pillow bounced softly off Alexander's face.

"None beastlier." Alexander Diamondclaw insisted with a smile.

End Chapter

AN: Alexander Diamondclaw has a peculiar relationship with his own body. Please remember that while he displays many traits of a natural lycanthrope (three aspects, retains personality while transformed) he isn't one, as he doubtlessly lacks their "enjoyable" transformations.

James Firecat would probably describe transforming as "like a really good sneeze" but for Alexander transformations are as painful as they look. This might dissuade a man who was more adverse to pain than Alexander from transforming very frequently.

By there way there was a "subtle" theme to Alexander's chessboard but I'm sure it flew so far over your heads that I don't want to make you feel bad by talking about it any more!

Alexander's story about his time in Forlorn may or may not be true. He's chaotic good so he will lie to bog standard true neutral NPCs and not feel the least bit bad about it. The fact that Florence who is neutral good and thus only lies to openly evil people suggests that something like the event happened, but how much of what he says is true or not is still open to conjecture.

Alexander does however have a fort save which is the envy of some lesser gods. He doesn't so have an immune system as an IMMUNE system. Seriously, his white blood cells probably transform into tiny wolves and rip apart diseases that try to invade.

The Guardian Virus from Order of the Stick would get its head handed to it (not that it would really have any effect on him since he doesn't use magic) if it tried to infect him. Even quasi-magical darklord based diseases like Dum-Dum Fever don't stand a chance against Alexander's immune system. So, I want to establish that so that it's clear he's not roasting his hand out of self preservation, he's doing to make sure that he doesn't end up spreading the disease to any other members of his team. Given the groups' research into how Dum-Dum Fever is spread (IE it's not airborne) his preventative techniques if a "little" extreme are also obviously effective.

Also "hefting the arbor" is a real "sport" practiced by the Forlorn Goblyns, at least according to the Forlorn box set, though according to the first Gazetteer, the more traditional form of the sport that you folks may in turn be more familiar with, is also preformed by the human inhabitants of the domain.


	10. Chapter 10

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Ten: We've got finest blend of nearly honest men

"Mr. Diamondclaw, do you know who I am?" A voice in the darkness asked.

At first all Alexander did was lazily swing back and forth, but then he finally spoke up.

"Well, given that I seem to have found myself bound hand and foot and hanging upside down from the ceiling again, I'm going to guess that you're that goblyn chieftain come for revenge over what the druids did to your tribe? By the way you speak Balok much better than you ever did Forfarian!" He guessed flippantly.

There was the distinct feeling of someone punching him in the upper solar plexus, (the only part of his chest that would be in reach at the moment) hard enough to get him swimming again.

"Not quite." The cultured voice replied.

"Well you're not Malus Sceleris either, he wouldn't have used a blindfold, it'd deny him a chance to let me see his own gloating face." Alexander pointed out a touch more logically.

"So nice of you to finally take my company seriously Mr. Diamondclaw. I trust we won't have to worry about any more pointless diversions?" The voice inquired.

"My stories are never pointless. They exist to convey a very important message, how awesome I am." Alexander insisted right before he got punched again.

"If you truly were half as 'awesome' as you claim to be it wouldn't have been so easy for my associates to capture you. It was very foolish of you go walking through some streets of Nosos alone. Most wealthy men avoid the Western portions of Nosos, what were you doing there?" The voice demanded to know.

"Looking for a Solstice tree." The silver haired man insisted earning him a third blow.

"You know, I'm almost starting to become impressed. Do I need to tell Crusher to break out the iron knuckles to hold your attention? If that fails, a little work with a stout iron bar could hardly make you any more nonsensical..." The voice insisted.

"What can I say? I tend to get a bit theatrical when I have a captive, or in this case, capturing, audience. Maybe if I knew what you really wanted, I'd be more forthcoming." Alexander replied calmly.

Alexander's blindfold was lifted (lowered?) for just a moment allowing him to see the face of a slightly overweight brown haired man with green eyes gazing right at him. Clenched between his jaws was an ignited roll of brown paper, and he breathed a cloud of noxious gray smoke directly into Alexander's face before setting the blindfold back in place.

"I am the last face you may ever see. Is that enough to make you take me seriously?" The voice demanded.

Alexander swung back and forth for a few moments coughing vigorously until he'd finally managed to clear his lungs.

"Okay, okay, just don't ever do that again, whatever that stuff was, it managed to smell worse that Nosos in general!" He pleaded.

"That's better. Now what do you know about a Mr. Armand Hobert?" The voice wanted to know.

"He's my guest in Chateau Argent. He's going to stay that way also, I have big plans for Amalgamated Diamonds, and they depend on repaying like for like and sticking to our agreements in spirit as well as word." Alexander insisted.

"It takes some real dedication for a man to keep thinking about the future of his business in your situation." The voice noted, once again sounding almost impressed.

"Well what can I say, like I've told my guests I've had a lot of unpleasant experiences in my life. Before you decided to so thoroughly befoul my nostrils this didn't even rank in the top fifteen." Alexander explained.

That earned him yet another punch.

"Armand Hobert had a deal with us. It's not very business like to go back on a deal. Nosos is a city built on making deals and doing business. Since he's holed up in your place, getting in touch with you was the obvious way to get his attention." The voice insisted.

"So you figured that you could convince me, or my fellow Alphas of Amalgamated Diamonds to trade him for me?" Alexander expected.

"Something like that." The voice admitted.

"There's a very simple reason why that isn't going to work." Alexander replied calmly.

"Because you're an honest man?" The voice suspected.

"Not really. The reason it won't work is because you're trying to use force against me. I am utterly incapable of understanding why people keep trying to do that, it never works well for them. Since you seem so knowledgeable of what is going on in Nosos, I have to believe that you have a rough knowledge of the last trial that Armand Hobert took part in. Do you remember the three defendants testimony in regards to how they had been captured?" Alexander inquired right back.

"They claimed to have been grabbed up by a gigantic silver wolf monster. At which point your own fancy lawyer abruptly insisted that the hows and whys of their capture had no relevance to the trail in question, only what they'd been doing before the 'wolf monster' in question arrived, regardless of if it really existed or not." The voice admitted.

Alexander gave an upside down nods of agreement.

"That's right. It was thus never proven if the wolf monster existed or not. Now maybe I'm just lying to you, I did after all just admit that I'm anything but an honest man.

Still, let me get this straight. You think that I, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the city, who may very well have a gigantic wolf monster under my control that loves to assault criminals who inconvenience me, am going to go give into blackmail? Good luck." Alexander reflected and casually twisted his body to get himself twisting back and forth a bit air, like the pendulum of a clock.

"Now, I'm an easy going enough sort when there's something to gain from it, if you let me down now I won't make an issue over the subject of who kidnapped whom. I would however like to have this blindfold taken off, my arms free, a chair, a strong drink, you to put out that small smokestack you have in your mouth, and a cat." Alexander suggested.

"Where exactly do you expect us to find a cat?" The voice shot back, strangely choosing to focus on this aspect of Alexander's demands.

"I've seen more than a few strays in Nosos, just go check outside the closest door leading out of this place and see if you can find one." Alexander suggested.

"You're doing this just to prove a point..." The voice reflected.

"Yes I am." The silver haired man admitted in a blase fashion.

Not so long later, Alexander Diamondclaw was seated in a comfortable chair, with his hands free, the blindfold gone, and a red furred cat seated attentively on his lap.

"I noticed you're still puffing away on that... whatever it is. You're doing that just to prove a point, aren't you?" Alexander asked the man who was seated opposite him.

"Yes I am." He agreed before blowing another cloud of smoke his way, causing the cat to cough and hiss in irritation.

"Let me make a second point of my own then..." Alexander insisted, before making a few quick hand motions.

Strands of white mist began to rise up from around his feet, and the curled forward, wrapping around the burning piece of parchment. They managed to cling to it so tightly that the flame sputtered out.

Once this had been accomplish they quickly dispersed, leaving Alexander reclining back in his chair with his arms crossed playfully.

"Impressive." His host admitted.

"I've learned a few tricks here and there in my life. One of the most important ones is that so many things will come down to the simple question of who are your friends, and who are your enemies." Alexander pointed out.

"Yes, lets talk about enemies. Do you really think that you're going to survive long in Nosos if you make an enemy of Malus?" The other man asked.

"Before we discuss my plans for Malus... I'd prefer to know the name of the man I'm talking with." Alexander insisted.

"Anonymity is like a warm blanket. But you can call me Father." Replied the other man.

"Not going to happen, I respect my own father too much. I did have an uncle that I wasn't particularly fond of though..." The silver haired man offered.

"It'll have to do." "Uncle" accepted.

"As for Malus... let him try. If an entire tribe of Goblyns weren't able to do the job what chance does he have?" Alexander declared bluntly.

"Most men aren't as hard to kill as you are, most men are a lot easier to frighten." Uncle insisted.

"Be that as it may, why are we even having this conversation? I'd have thought the fact that you worked hand in glove with Armand Hobert, who worked for Malus in turn. Shouldn't that place you firmly in his corner?" The silver haired man asked eagerly.

"That's your first mistake, nobody in Nosos, not even his inner circle likes Malus Sceleris. He just knows all the right strings to pull to keep people dancing to his tune, or at least he did till you and your friends came along. Do you have any idea what Malus thinks of puppets who lack strings?" Uncle asked.

"Probably no more fond of them than I am, and if you think I dislike goblyns, you haven't heard the story of what puppets without strings did to me once. Granted 'he' probably wasn't too fond of me either given by the end of it given how the story's ending involves a one severely upset dryad and termite mound.

Now that we've both proven we can dance around unpleasant subjects equally well, what are you really interested in? Keep in mind I am still am a bit miffed about what your boys tried to do to Timothy Jackson." Alexander warned.

"Look at the matter logically Mr. Diamondclaw. When me and members of my organization steal from the poor they are left with so little that it is impossible to steal from them again. When we steal from the rich, well it is in the nature of the rich to have more money than they know what to deal with.

We can keep stealing from them again, and again, and again, in moderation of course, rather like shearing a sheep when you get right down to it.

Except that Malus looks very unforgivably upon any theft in Nosos, any theft he isn't behind at least. Not only that, but he doesn't like anyone upsetting his Owners in anyway, unless once again he's the one behind it.

Malus Sceleris has clamped down on this city so firmly that we simply don't have any choice but to steal from those who have next to nothing, because those who have more are too well protected." Uncle explained.

"Interesting theory, any particular reason why I should I believe it?" Alexander replied with a slight cocking of his head to the side.

"Well it seems the time for dancing and storytelling isn't quite over Mr. Diamondclaw. Once a not so long time ago, Nosos was almost exactly as it was today.

It was ruled by a cruel king and his equally cruel nobles who thought nothing of oppressing the peasants and cared nothing at all for their suffering. The only real difference was that the peasants were breaking their backs laboring in the fields rather than in the factories.

There weren't any police back then, just knights, and they existed only to enforce the king's will, not that our current 'lawmen' are any better. So, a group of peasants banded together, knowing that they had no chance to change the system, but if they were cunning and shrewd might at least be able to protect their own families from the worst of the suffering.

Protecting your family.

That's something I've always been a firm believer in, just like my father, just like my grandfather was. Just like... well I'm sure you grasp the concept. It's a rough pitiless world out there, dog eat dog, cat eat cat, there's nothing fair about it in the slightest. So you make the best of it, and, you, protect, your, family." Uncle insisted vigorously.

Alexander would have been lying to say that his interest wasn't piqued at this point.

"So, you're interested in an alliance between my pack and you... family? To what end?" Alexander asked cautiously.

"To the end of Malus Sceleris. I and my family have some big ideas for Nosos, but they require the city to be something more than a playground for an overgrown boy to amuse himself with.

"Interesting, well given that Nosos is a city built on business... lets see if we can't do some business together?" The silver haired man offered.

AN: So, organized crime...

Well look at the time, I think I'm gonna end this chapter commentary right here and now!

Oh, well some good news, don't think that something horrible has happened to me if you don't hear from me/see me post anything for a while, going on vacation this Friday and will not be back for a week and a weekend.


	11. Chapter 11

Monster Party Novella Nosos: But what happens when the gears, get sick of the machine?

Chapter Eleven: You rest your head on dynamite, so you'll wake and atone, for every little finger that, (that) gets worked to the bone!

"Well, it is something." Florence Bastien reflected as she looked over the latest addition to Chateau Argent.

"It is not just 'something' it happens to be the only thing that will let even you have a chance at growing anything worth talking about in Nosos." Cal Wright insisted.

The alchemist had good reason to be somewhat defensive about the structure, it had been his idea from start to finish.

"Why do they call it a greenhouse? It seems more... clearish white gray than anything else." Reflected James Firecat.

Cal sighed heavily covering her face with a hand.

"Well to start with, it is a building, and it is made to grow plants in, so... why do you think it's called a 'greenhouse' Whiskers?

Anyway, Nosos isn't the only place that isn't exactly friendly to plant life. Home isn't that much better, though it is more coldly indifferent rather than actively hostile. Still even nature at its worse is no match for Lamordian engineering! Bring on the snow, bring on the acid rain, we can still grow plants in here..." Cal further reflected.

"Raising one little garden is all well and good, especially for the sake of collecting berries, but if we're going to make a difference in Nosos it will require more than just creating a few little green sanctuaries. We'll need to take the fight 'out there' to the city itself." The dryad insisted.

"Have you finally figured out how to that spell you've been working on? I mean I don't really care, but my Kitten likes to breath as much as anyone else who suffers from the terminal condition known as being alive. So, what makes him happy makes me... content." Mirri reflected.

"If we'd been anywhere else, I would have taken care of the matter well before now honestly. Gaia's voice has been nothing but a whisper since we arrived. That combined with my Silver Rose feeling especially temperamental slowed me down quite a bit.

Luckily, the spell was a fairly obvious deviation of one so simple almost any druid worthy of the name could do it. Purifying food and water is a simple enough matter, once I was able to communicate to Gaia what I desired, purifying air itself was not so much harder either." She declared proudly.

Then Florence made a few quick hand motions, followed by "speaking" a few words in a language that was more like the babbling of a spring brook than any human tongue.

In short order the air inside the greenhouse was cleansed of every trace of Nosos' perpetual stink which they'd never been able to escape until now. As a refreshingly clear scent wafted through the room, everyone (even Mirri) suddenly began to breath in deeply through their nostrils, as if unable to believe that they were finally being exposed to pure air once again.

"It won't last." Florence warned them.

"Sadly this is roughly equivalent to tying a cloth around the sort of wound that leaves a man's entrails hanging out for all the world to see.

I can purify the air wherever I am, but given the rate at which factories continue to spread more of that foulness, the reprieve won't be long lived. We either need to shut down the factories, or make sure every single one of them has a druid working at it who focuses their powers on casting that spell repeatedly." The dryad warned them.

"Druidic magic isn't especially plentiful in the Core, it is probably even rarer in Nosos." Cal noted sourly.

"Well it sounds like we need to train more druids then!" James Firecat contributed happily.

"That is more easily said than done, not many are called to the path of service to Gaia, and many of those who have the talent still choose not to answer her call. I think the odds of finding anyone both capable and willing to listen to her in Nosos are quite low." Florence admitted sadly.

"Grab some kids and make them do it." Mirri huffed.

"Excuse me?" Florence replied clearly take aback by the vampire's bunt words.

"Hey-ya, wee baron, trapped a few vixens? Hey-ya, grand duke, the trap's lying empty. Kids can be taught to do just about anything if you put your mind to it.

You would be surprised at just what horribly devious things some brats will do for money. All we need is gather a bunch of kids, sort out which of them have the right mystical mumbo jumbo to become druids, and before long you'll have a budding crop of grass worshipers. I can give them a few tastes of my charming personality if don't think you cold handle the task of convincing them on your own." She further added.

"Kidnapping children so that we can induct them into some sort of nature worshiping cult is not going to do wonders for Amalgamated Diamonds image." Devi warned.

"Who said anything about kidnapping? We do this like its been done for who know how long back home, we use orphans.

They don't have anyone else they could possibly depend on, so you've got pretty much complete control over them even without using magic! Hey-ya, wee baron, someone be springing the traps? Hey-ya grand duke, wolf be after the vixen." The vampiress declared confidently.

"Well that plan is completely lacking in anything even close to resembling morals, it might work though." Cal couldn't help but admit.

"No it won't. Follow me to the library, I've got another board to show you guys." Devi insisted.

A short while later the group were gathered together in a different room with the elf readily showing them still more fruits from her labors in compiling the vampire's research into the unspoken hierarchies of power in Nosos.

"The problem with Mirri's plan is simply one of logistics. For it to work would requires us to have access to a reasonably large supply of orphans." The blue haired woman insisted as she begun to spin the board around.

"You're telling me there isn't one? Men die of industrial accidents, women die of illness, how can there not be a bunch of orphans out there?" Mirri asked with a pout, clearly upset at having her idea shot down.

A moment later the board finished spinning revealing a picture of a familiar face.

"Say hello once again to Roger Tulle, hopefully you haven't forgotten all about him since last time. One of the oldest friends of Malus Sceleris, runs most of the textile factories in Nosos, and also the Malus Sceleris Homes for Poor Orphans.

Shortly after he started to making a name for himself in Nosos Malus created these places to look after all the orphans that indeed this city does produce at a prodigious rate. Children without parents can depend on having a roof over their heads, three warm meals a day, and fires to keep them warm on cold nights.

At least they can until they turn sixteen at which point they're kicked out onto the streets without so much as a copper coin.

I suppose that is still better than the alternative, but I doubt Malus opened these places up out of the goodness of his heart..." Devi couldn't help but point out.

"We were able to find out anything to suggest he's been using them for nefarious means?" Alexander cut in.

Devi shrugged awkwardly.

"Not as such... he mostly has just left them alone once they were fully established. He's only had a handful of major interactions that he's had with them.

There were five times when he adopted kids, all of them were boys between the ages of eight and ten. Every single one of them proceeded to suffer almost the exact same fate; after living less than half a year with Malus... they died by a disease, or combination of diseases, that no one, not even the doctors of Nosos, could clearly identity or treat." She concluded.

A heavy silence descended upon the library that only James Firecat was eventually able to break.

"Alex... do you think that..." He hazarded slowly, not quite able to fully voice his fears.

"That Malus adopted those children for the purpose of using them to experiment with some sort of horrific diseases worse than even Elevens or Dum-Dum Fever? No, I don't think he did that.

He already owns the orphanages, in a city like Nosos I doubt there is anyone keeping careful track of exactly how many orphans he's looking after. If he wanted to do something like that, all he needed to do is have a child delivered to place in the middle of the night. No, I think... I think what we're looking at is the curse..." Alexander slowly concluded.

"You mean the way that something tends to keep going wrong for darklords in certain small little ways?" Cal cut in, making sure that everyone was on the same page.

"Yes... Malus... I bet he did honestly want to adopt those children. Malus really wants to be a father... nobody knows anything about his own family, what his relation with his father was like, we can work with this." The silver haired man's lips began to twitch upward in a smile.

"Yes, in theory you could exploit one of an otherwise completely dark hearted man's noble impulses as a way to get under his skin. If you were an even bigger bastard than he was." Mirri said in a dispassionate voice.

Then there was another long awkward pause, though not quite as long as the one before it.

"Just to be clear, that wasn't an accusation, if anything that was admiration! How do you think we can ruin his life next? Maybe burn down the orphanages? Go back to that original plan I mentioned, kidnap a bunch of them, then make him hand over several big sacks of money to get them back?" She pointed out playfully.

"Down Beta. Besides, if Nosos should teach you anything it is that no one ever got true satisfaction in life just from being rich. Tell me Mirri, would you rather see Malus bankrupt, or would you rather see me break his soul?" He asked.

The black haired woman paused for a moment, opened her mouth wide, and took a few seconds to run her tongue over her fangs.

"I've got shivers... and I given that I'm dead I didn't think that was possible." She admitted her face flushing with dark delight.

"James, I need you and Mirri to do a little reconnaissance. Devi get them the location of the closest Malus Sceleris Home for Poor Orphans building. I want you to two to find out exactly what is going on in there and once you've done that... then I'll figure out how to use it against him." The eye-patched man insisted.

XXX XXX XXX

"Hey there kitty..." Lisa Taylor called out to the bright red furred cat she'd never seen before today.

The cat was the only truly colorful thing she'd seen in a very long time, everything else in her world was either dull grays, dark blacks or wickedly gleaming silver.

The cat stood out as something new to her, something different, and there was precious little difference between one day and another. Even its eyes were different, she'd never seen a cat with such soulful brown eyes.

She reached out a hand slowly and cautiously towards the cat, not wanting to frighten it away. The tom slowly raised its head and sniffed whiskers twitching.

Then it sneezed in the most adorable way imaginable.

"Sorry puss, there isn't anyone here to deal with the soot and dust but us, and we... we don't really want to." Lisa admitted.

It wasn't that she was lazy, laziness didn't last long here. No, the issue was that neither did excess energy.

She held out her hands awkwardly, and then the cat obliging jumped into her arms. It cuddled against her stomach and she found its fur to be pleasurably warm. Pleasurably warm, and also strangely clean.

She ran her hands through its fur, and then paused for a moment when she worried that she was in effect cleaning her hands by dirtying the cat's fur.

"So what are you doing here?" She asked the cat.

In response it let loose with a gentle "meow "that explained nothing, but would have to do for an answer.

Then it began to purr.

Lisa held it all the more tightly against her there, her entire body drinking in the wonderful vibrations. She held the cat close and waited for it to stop, except that it didn't stop.

If Lisa had been able to, she would have shut out the entire rest of the world and just sat there caressing the strange cat.

The world however had no respect for the wishes of Lisa Taylor.

"What do you have there?" A gruff voice demanded.

Looking up Lisa saw him. The brown haired man towered over her, and glowered down at both her and the cat.

"It's just a stray I found." Lisa replied, hugging the animal all the more tightly though now it had stopped purring.

"Well put it down now, it is time for your shift." The man insisted.

Fighting back tears Lisa slowly relinquished her new friend and began to stand up.

Once they were separated the man attacked the cat with a vicious kick.

"Savage beast, I won't have you spreading filthy disease to any of my girls!" He spat.

The kick struck the cat in its midsection and with a hissing cry of pain it went flying across the room.

The man chuckled to himself at the sight of the suffering he'd just inflicted.

"Make sure to step lively or you'll get the same!" He warned Lisa.

Lisa nodded sadly already feeling exhausted and spent even though she hadn't even started yet.

That was when she heard the roar.

WHAM!

Lisa had no idea how she'd missed it, you didn't just not see something like that. Except, that she had missed it, and so had the man.

The creature however did not miss the man, its mighty limbs dealt his midsection a powerful slap and drove the man the ground. It pinned him there beneath its paws and pressed its muzzle directly against his ears, then it snarled.

The man now went very, very still.

Lisa stared, having no idea what exactly she was seeing. The creature was unlike anything she'd seen before, well for the most part unlike anything she'd seen before.

It had tawny blond fur, and it honestly looked to Lisa like a cat... except more so, much more so.

The properly sized red furred tomcat walked back over to Lisa, then it proceeded to drape its fluffy tail languidly across the face of the captured man.

If Lisa hadn't known better, she would have assumed that the cat was actually mocking the man...

That was when the cat began to change.

It grew up and out, red front paws narrowing down into human hands covered by gloves of the exact same color, while the back ones became feet in red shoes. Red fur began to transform into a red jacket, shirt and pants. His hair was covered by a wide brimmed red hat.

The only part about him that didn't really change was his eyes, they were still brown and soulful. He paid no attention at all to the man who was currently being restrained by the gigantic golden furred monster, he kept his eyes locked solely on Lisa.

"Can you show me how to help?" He asked tenderly.

Lisa clung to the man as tightly as when he'd been a cat.

XXX XXX XXX

One fully grown man having his arms and legs bound in some the rope Mirri had "borrowed" from Devi and the pointing out of a hidden trapdoor later the hunt was on.

A red furred cat paced slowly along the floor, tendrils of mist curling around its paws with every soft silent step.

Not that it needed to be especially silent, the pounding of machinery would have been loud enough to drown out the approach of an entire clowder of cats.

When it found what was waiting for it, its brown eyes went wide, then it turned tail and ran backwards as fast as it could go.

It ran and ran and ran, it slipped expertly through the concealed trapdoor and then kept racing till it had managed to escape the Malus Sceleris Home for Poor Orphans completely.

It crawled over to the nearest section of the Nosos' extensive (but none too effective) sewer system and began to wretch.

XXX XXX XXX

"Here." Mirri Catwarrior handed James Firecat a canteen that she'd been keeping on herself just in case.

He drank greedily and then managed to only spit about half of it down into the gutter.

"That..." He gasped, but couldn't bring himself to say anything more.

Mirri nodded in agreement.

"You know... you know I was kidding back in the library, right?" She asked sounding a great deal more unsure of herself than normal.

"Yeah." James agreed before taking another long drink from the canteen, still trying to wash the fowl taste out of his mouth. What he couldn't do was wash the fowl taint from his soul.

"Good... I... I know I can count on Alexander, count on you, to pick my good ideas from my bad ones. I'd never... I'd never have an idea like that though..." She half stammered, once again proving that indeed even a dead woman could shiver, so long as cold wasn't the cause.

"Someone... someone needs to pay for that." James insisted.

"Oh yeah. Yeah that's one of the best ideas you've ever had Kitten." Mirri agreed.

"It... it is... probably legal though, so we can't just... I mean..." James half babbled, not sure how to deal with this particular problem.

"Alexander, lets go talk to Alexander He'll come up with a way to deal with this." Mirri promised James.

Then the two began their trek back to Chateau Argent.

XXX XXX XXX

Alexander Diamondclaw listened to everything his pair of scouts had to say with a detachment so icy you could have stood on it. For a very short while at least.

"Yes, that's a real pickle." He admitted in a voice that was utterly devoid of emotion.

The silver haired man reached into the desk he was seated at and pulled out a silver ring with brightly glowing blue runes engraved on it..

"Could you excuse me for a moment?" The silver haired man didn't wait for an answer before slipping it on.

"!" Said Alexander Diamondclaw.

His mouth moved but no words emerged.

The ring of silence projected a mystical barrier that neither James or Mirri's keen ears were able to pierce. His face became quite red for a while, but eventually he managed to settle down and removed the ring.

After doing that, he simply sat there, his body unnaturally still.

"All right, I have thought this through... I will rescue all the children, then I will murder them."

"That 'them' doesn't refer to the children right?" James asked taking Alexander's "plan" completely seriously.

"Alpha Male?" Florence Bastien coughed.

Alexander coughed himself and then his entire body convulsed like an animal trying to shake itself dry after a rainstorm.

"Okay as far as plans go that one is a baaaa... huh, couldn't quite make myself believe those words. That was a great plan, but I might just have a better one that doesn't involve making Nosos smell even worse than normal because its sewers are clogged with corpses." He admitted.

"If you tear the bodies up into enough small pieces you won't have that problem." Mirri offered helpfully.

"Be that as it may, I'm going to try and be gentlemanly about this. I intend to resolve this problem by writing a strongly worded letter." Alexander declared.

"If that doesn't work?" Mirri probed.

"Murder." He answered.

"Now then, James go get Cal, I'm going to need his skill with a pen to handle this, my own hand is unsteady enough at the best of times.

Mirri when he's done I'm going to need you to do another one of your special deliveries. After that, go back to the orphanage and take care of a little more prep-work. Meanwhile, I'll have to go see a man with a large sack of money and wait to discover what happens..." Alexander Diamondclaw instructed.

XXX XXX XXX

Malus Sceleris wasn't sure how the letter had managed to work its way past several different layers of security, but it had. One moment it hadn't been there, the next there was a letter sitting there. It was sealed with a crest in the shape of a snarling wolf.

He already knew it who it was from before he even opened it up, but that knowledge alone granted him no clues towards its contents.

"Go pay a visit to the Malus Sceleris Home for Poor Orphans closest to your mansion. There's a secret trap door in there, it will be marked with ink. You will be very interested to find out what is going on down there. If you're interested in paying me a visit later tonight I'll be at the Wrecked Wrench." Was all it said.

Clearly its writer had also known that Malus would be able to identify him perfectly well by the crest alone and so decided not to bother with the curtsy of a signature. But why should one expect a wolf to be civilized? He had no idea what sort of a game the beast was playing at, but Malus would get to the bottom of it.

XXX XXX XXX

The owner of Sceleris Industries had decided to bring a full score of armed men with him to the orphanage. He just felt better being surrounded by lots of very aggressive men armed with the very best guns that money could buy.

Sure enough there was a carefully built trap door that someone had made much less well concealed by smearing the edges of it with ink.

He had some of his men lever it up and then he headed down with two of his men leading the way just to be sure. He didn't think this was a trap, since how would the wolf have been able to break into this place and build such a trap door and escape notice in the process?

The only explanation that made any sort of sense was that the trapdoor had been built there by someone who had unfettered access to it.

Still, Malus Sceleris had not gotten to where he was in life by taking foolish risks. With his bodyguards making sure nothing dangerous could sneak up on him Malus he slowly made his forward.

Those men could protect their master from danger, but not from surprises.

Like the one that awaited Malus Sceleris at the end of a long hallway.

It was a large room filled to the brim to the machines of various types, much like many other rooms that Malus had been in at one time or another. There were two key differences however...

The first was that the workers were chained to those machines, and the second was that they were orphans. His orphans.

Then Malus' well practiced eye temporarily won over the rage which was filling his brain, and he was able to recognize exactly what sort of machines they were... looms. Then he knew.

XXX XXX XXX

"Everyone else out of the room..."

…..

"EVERYONE OUT OF THE ROOM NOW!"

"We don't work for you Mr. Sceleris we work for..."

"No... Malus is an old friend of mine, if he has something he wants to tell me alone it wouldn't be the first time. Get out..."

…..

"Roger...?"

"Malus...?"

"My orphans... what were you doing to my orphans?"

"Malus? I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You don't know? You don't know? If you don't know where the garments for your stores come from then you aren't smart enough to work for me and if you did know... either way your time in the Upper Crust is over..."

"Malus, what are you talking about?"

"You always had a slick tongue Roger... that was what I liked about you. There was no one I could count on to lie for me well as you could. I was always smarter though, that's why you work for me. No matter how good at it they are, a stupid man can only lie to a smart one for so long... How could you be so stupid to think that you could make money lying to me instead of for me?"

"Malus don't..."

"Do you know what I saw tonight Roger? I put those orphanages under your control because we go so far back, because I thought I could trust you. Well, after seeing what you decided to do to my orphans... now I know exactly what I can do with you."

"What... are you..."

Click.

BANG!

Thud.

XXX XXX XXX

The Wrecked Wrench was a reasonable enough tavern. There was nothing especially special about it, but it was clean and either through magic or luck it had somehow managed to arrange for it to be spared the worst of Nosos' olfactory assaults.

When Malus and his twenty bodyguards entered it was completely deserted except for the bartender.

"It really is amazing what money can do." Reflected the silver haired man behind the bar, directing his single eyed stare from the mug he'd been polishing up to his new arrivals.

Malus made a few quick hand motions and his bodyguards stepped back outside, leaving him to approach the bar on his own.

"Why did you do that?" He half snarled, preferring to stand rather than sit.

"Because I figured if I'm going to pay this place's normal proprietor to let me run it for the night, he'd appreciate finding his serving implements slightly cleaner afterwards." Alexander Diamondclaw answered with a shrug.

"I meant the note, about the orphanage..." Malus clarified, his eyes possessed a feral half enraged half haunted look about them.

Alexander put down the mug and rested both of his hands on the bar.

"I'm still a newcomer to Nosos, but I'm picking the rules pretty quickly all the same. I wouldn't dream of openly interfering with another man's business interests. It is a horrible thing when that happens you know?

For example, some people were skulking around the Amalgamated Diamonds mine last night, would you believe it? I don't know what they were doing there, but when we found them, two of them were dead of blood loss. As for the other two, well it seems someone decided to take a sledgehammer to their kneecaps, then their elbows.

So, given that the orphanages were your business, I let you handle it. Would you care for a drink?" He offered.

"Yes please." Malus gasped, his voice half choked.

It was the kind of voice primarily found among dehydrated desert dwellers who have finally reached an oasis, or men thinking about something they'd very much like to forget.

Alexander didn't bother to ask for an order, he simply went about the process of pouring out a drink for Malus Sceleris with nonchalant ease.

"So is there something on your mind?" He inquired as he started to pour himself a drink as well.

Malus raised up his mug, clearly about to toss his drink right in Alexander's face, but suddenly found his limbs restrained by a pair of black gloved hands.

"You're obviously in a bad way Mr. Sceleris, so I'm willing to forgive a little misbehavior. Still, I see no reason to be so uncivilized as to involve perfectly innocent liquor in our feud..." Alexander suggested.

Malus' muscles relaxed slightly, he took a long drink from the mug, placing it down on the bar, then he punched Alexander in the face.

The silver haired man coughed up a little blood, but otherwise seemed nonplussed, and simply took a

pull from his own container.

"So, would I be correct that you'll be taking a more personal investment in the running of your orphanages now? You should probably do that if you don't want to have to undergo a repeat of tonight's events.

That, or you could find someone else to handle that particular task, someone who could be trusted to put the good of others ahead of making a few gold. I hear people like that are very hard to find in Nosos though..." The silver haired man ruminated.

Malus punched Alexander a second time then went back to drinking for a while.

No sooner had he managed to finish his first serving than Alexander slid him a second.

"Just don't try to drink me under the table. Many are the demi-humans, including quite a few dwarfs, who have found themselves laying flat upon the floor cursing themselves for fools and the mice for being too loud after attempting that particular feat." He advised.

"I may not look it, but I didn't grew up in a city." Malus admitted as Alexander got to work finishing up his first beer.

"My father was a druid... and so was my mother... but she died giving birth to me.

I was nearly ten years old before my father allowed me to accompany him on one of his journeys into town to pick up a few things that neither his magic or the natural world could provide. I was shocked... shocked, at what I saw.

It was just a small town, but back then it seemed a city grander than Nosos to me, as if every house was a mansion! I'd never seen, never even imagined so many people living so close together, not when my father was the only other human I'd met before that day.

There was a girl, she had hair that gleamed like gold and her eyes were the only green thing I ever loved.

We talked a little... I stumbled over practically every other word I said, because I was so unused to speaking. My father had never been one for conversation you see. I made myself look like a right proper fool, but I managed to explain why she hadn't seen me before, because I lived off in the forest. She told me that she was the daughter of a local tavern keeper and that her name was Amanda.

I worried that I'd never be able to survive the wait to see her again, since my father tended to go for months between his visits. We held each others hands that day for so long that I'm amazed they didn't fuse together. She promised me that it wouldn't be so bad, that if I couldn't come to see her, she'd come to see me again..." Malus continued pausing his story briefly so that he could get some serious drinking done.

"I know what you're doing by the way." He warned as Alexander slid him a third drink.

"If you're worried about your tab, it is on the house." The silver haired man offered before going back to doing a little drinking of his own.

"Oh, and if you want to leave, the door is right there. I'm sure your bodyguards could provide equally suitable conversational companions if you waned to avoid unburdening yourself in my presence." He added.

Malus' eyes didn't even glance toward the door'.

"There... there was so little left of her when I found her. Hair, and a few flowers that she'd kept clutching until the end, I think... I think that they were for me.

She'd gone into the woods to try and find me, and a pack of wolves found her." Malus explained managing to drain about half of his drink in one long quaff. He followed this up by slamming his first into Alexander's face yet again.

"So go ahead, bark, woof, howl, other may people may think that it is just a charming eccentricity, but that's only because they've been rich and sheltered their entire lives! They've never had to discover exactly what death means, and exactly what it is wolves do to innocent children when given half a chance.

I'll never forget what my father said to me when I pleaded with him to use his magic against the beasts so that Amanda's death would not go unavenged.

'My son, how can you expect me to punish them for being true their nature?' were his exact words. It is in the nature of wolves to fall upon all that is good and wholesome in the world, and rip it apart with their fangs." Malus declared, his voice deadly serious.

"You know, there's a famous story in Mordent about a ship captain who comes to the conclusion that he should devote his entire life to hunting down a whale which ate one of his legs. It doesn't end well for him. That's the problem when you're dealing with animals, they're too stupid for you get to any real sense of satisfaction from getting 'revenge' against them." Alexander pointed out.

Malus having managed to completely drain his drink, now slammed the container onto Alexander's head.

"Don't patronize me. Revenge against an individual animal is pointless, there will always be more of them. Revenge against an entire type of animal though... that worked out pretty well for me I have to say. You see, I've managed to drive all the wolves out of Nosos, all the wolves, except for you." He hissed angrily.

"How did you do that exactly?" Alexander asked playfully, his expression of camaraderie still not chipped in the least by Malus' continued physical assaults.

"It isn't about killing the beasts, it is about making it so that they can't hunt. You get rid of all the easy sources of food for them. If you can do that, then they'll leave on their own soon enough. It was a matter of supply and demand just like any other business matter." Malus declared proudly.

"Well, that explains why I'm still here then, I try a lot harder than most other wolves. That, or I'm just have a lot less choosy about what to hunt." The silver haired man reflected.

"Prey on two legs, that's what you're willing to hunt." Malus growled.

"Ah Mr. Sceleris it seems that you really do know me all too well. So tell me, do you plan to drive out all the humans of Nosos so that I won't be able to hunt? You'll be in a fine situation then, a lone man atop a midden heap proclaiming himself king of all he surveys, seeing nothing worthy of ruling." Alexander needled his guest.

Malus motioned for a fourth drink and it was swiftly provided.

"You really think I hate you that badly? You're overestimating your importance Mr. Diamondclaw. I planned, plan on making Nosos a perfect city, the most wonderful place in the world for me to live, to be free of everything that I hated: I chased out all the wolves, I cut down all the trees, I crushed every single blade of grass beneath cobblestones. It was only after I'd done that, when I realized there were some things in the world that I hate more that wolves." Malus reflected somberly.

Alexander began to pour himself another round and simply flicked an eyebrow at his drinking companion rather than try and use words to coerce more information from him.

"Wolves have little interest in licking the blood from their lips, at least you can tell how horrible they are when you look at them. People though... people will make you think that they're your best friend in the world, right before they slide in the knife." Malus ground his teeth together in rage as he spoke.

"Well, if you can't find an trustworthy man in Nosos, you might have to settle for a trustworthy wolf." Alexander offered.

"You honestly think that I'm going to hand that particular pearl over to you just because you told me what Roger was up to and gave me a few drinks? To give you access to all those young minds? Do you expect me to clean, load, and prime my favorite gun before shooting myself in the head to make things easy for you next?" Malus spat.

"What I think is that you're about to find yourself dealing with a long night of pondering and then a splitting hangover. Beyond that, well I expect you to act in your own best interests Malus. Today both of us had a shared interest in seeing a wrong done to the orphans of Nosos be righted.

We'll just have to wait and see how our interests might possibly align tomorrow." Alexander told him before focusing on a little more drinking of his own.

"Last call!" He announced to no one in particular and the set about filling his and Malus' mug a final time.

XXX XXX XXX

The next day there were two pieces of information that everyone who was anyone in Nosos talked about. The first was that Roger Tulle had shot himself in the head, his will leaving everything to Malus Sceleris.

The second was that Malus had announced that he no longer had the energy to property run his orphanage, and was going to be letting Alexander Diamondclaw take over that particular aspect of Nosos' society.

XXX XXX XXX

Somewhere in Nosos, a black gloved hand reached out, and tipped over a golden knight, sending the figure toppling to lay flat upon a regicide board.

End Chapter

AN:There are spells in D&D that purify food or water, or even magically generate them as pure "mana" (food from heaven). There is no official spell that I know of for purifying the air, primarily because that's not a problem that comes up frequently enough/at all (not something negate actively poisonous gases, just turn soot/smog into normal clean air) but Florence has figure out how to create a low level druid spell that does it, not because she's the greatest druid in Ravenloft, it's just she's the only druid in Nosos, and so no one else has ever really focused on this particular problem from the approach that she takes..

The "gibberish" that Mirri is happily spouting at one point in this story is actually Nova Vassan thieves cant. It's a language/code that young thieves are instructed to use when interacting with adults they don't know to find out if they are thieves as well. With the right responses it can convey a lot of information, and without them the child just seems to be mindlessly rambling rather than planning crimes.

It is important to remember that Malus Sceleris (or at least how I write him) is quite different from most darklords. Not because of the fact that he doesn't have a lot of powerful combat/magical abilities, (after all Vlad Drakov is just a guy with an army...) but because there's nothing intrinsically violent about his personality.

Not to say that he won't make use of violence when it suits his needs of course, but he isn't driven to commit violent actions and violence isn't near the top of the list of his normal approaches to problem solving. He'd prefer to defeat his enemies with a pen than a sword is what I'm saying.

So he and Alexander can be in the same room together for extended periods of time and have these conversations without Malus feeling the need to seriously try and kill Alex and Alex actually feeling threatened enough to repay the favor.

Also Malus' love of/interest in protecting/caring for Orphans is from the same fan material source that I got the info on Henri DuCamp and Malus' six minions from. It is based around the fact that Malus felt like he himself was effectively an orphan growing up due to the fact that his mother died giving birth to him, and his father was so shaken by that event that it lead to him being emotionally abusive (also possibly physically abusive depending on how you interpret the phrase "punishments were nearly as common as meals") to Malus

It doesn't talk about how comforting/nice it is to be an orphan under his protection, but I think it works better if Malus is genuine in his desire to make sure that other children grow up to live happier lives then he did.

Darklords are always at their most interesting when you see that one tiny speck of something "human" still in them, that one aspect of their lives where there is a tiny pinprick of light escaping from the black hole that otherwise is their soul.

The way that Markov actually does seem to dote on his "daughter" Delphi, the way that Jacqueline Renier seems to be a stern but genuinely loving mother to her son, the fact that Azalin wants to be a good father, even if he still has no idea how to/is still actively committed to all the same mistakes that screwed things up for him and his son the last time around. Things like this add depth to the characters and make them interesting to write for/read about.

Thus, Malus sees at least a little of himself in every single one of those orphans. Hence, why when he finds out what Roger Tulle was doing he decided to respond to it by murdering him.

I'm not sure if I should make this more clear in the text where from Malus' perspective he sees an entire room of full of himself as a child, each and every single one of which is currently chained to a machine... something like that probably would work better in visual medium but maybe I'm just not trying hard enough and should include it in the story all the same?

Also the group is more or less entirely correct about what is going on with Malus and the kids he tries to adopt. Malus has dedicated his life to being the opposite of his father, which means actually being a good father to a son. The problem is that the powers which have turned his body into a living plague vector for things likes Dum-Dum Fever also either A) make him sterile or B) make having sex him give any woman unlucky enough to do it a nasty case of syphilAIDS.

When he tries to get around this by adopting a child instead, his disease powers flare out control and infect the kid if they spends any noticeable amount of time in his presence. The Dark Powers are dicks like that.

Also if you're wondering why James and Mirri react so strongly... please remember that most evil in Ravenloft is retail in the way it is handed out. The idea of an entire room full of children being used for slave labor... that's the kind of shit that even most Darklords find beyond the pail, because they may be horrific monsters who are beyond redemption, but they still have some standards thank you very much!

Mirri knows her place as a Beta in the pack means she has the "pleasure" of being as sadistic as possible when making suggestions because she knows that James or Alex will veto any idea that offends their sensibilities and prevent it from actually being carried out.

She enjoys playing the shoulder devil without actually expecting the things she suggests will ever actually take place. Also remember that Mirri is very much into personal cruelty, if she isn't the one doing something horrible to a person, what's the point of that person having something horrible done to them?

Thus while she might "suggest" kidnapping a bunch of orphans and holding them hostage in exchange for piles of money... seeing that those children had already in effect been kidnapped and had no hope at all of ever being released was a discovery she didn't expect and thus is left nearly as shaken as James.

It probably says I'm a bad writer for the fact that I worry that s**t like this isn't being fully conveyed in the text/subtext present in the chapter itself... but I'll try not to let that get to me since you get what you pay for and if I'm getting paid for writing these stories, well it would certainly be news to me!


End file.
